Bowl Games? Yep. New Year’s Six? Sure. College Football Playoff? Uh-huh. Coaching Hot Seat List? Why not? My Heisman Ballot? I mean, if you have to…

Hey remember last year when I dumped all that stuff I mentioned above into one post? Guess what I’m doing again.

Look, you could say that it would take the same amount of time to put all this in separate posts. And you’d be wrong. These tags don’t just create themselves. Although if there is a way to do tags automatically I would feel like a big fucking moron. Oh well, I’m just going to keep on living thinking I have to type in all the pertinent tags to this post. Ignorance is bliss!

Let’s start with some postseason predictions. You read the two posts where I predicted the standings for all the conferences (and those four mangy Independents). At least I hope you did. If not, you might want to so it can prepare you for this because, ho boy, this could cause some people to think twice about my mental capacity. We begin with the top of the mountain, the College Football Playoff. Here is what I think the semi-finals will look like along with the rankings of the teams involved:

January 1st	Sugar Bowl	#1 Georgia	#4 Florida State
January 1st	Rose Bowl	#2 Michigan	#3 Alabama

Am I close to the experts’ picks? I don’t really know. I think Georgia is the easiest call here but the road to get there isn’t easy. Their regular season loss to Tennessee means they had to beat Alabama in the SEC Championship to be in the Top 4. I believe they do. I also believe Bama, being #1 going into conference championship weekend, wouldn’t fall four spots on a single loss to one of the best teams in the nation. So they stay in at #3 which I am sure will cause a ton of people to become irrational and use Twitter as a ridiculous sounding board and causing people to not want to talk about college football. Sorry…use X as a ridiculous sounding board and cause people to not want to talk about college football on social media. X. What a dumb fucking name. Anyway, Michigan should get in with a in in the Big Ten Championship, even if it is over a Minnesota team that would be near the bottom of the Top 25 going in. Finally, remember what I said about the Tide? Triple that hatred for this one. Florida State, I predict, will beat Clemson for the ACC title. The Tigers would come in to the game at #2 and FSU would be #5. I have the Noles moving up a spot and the Tigers being that one-loss team that loses out in this bunch. The amount of venom spewed by college football media and fans about this, rightly or wrongly, would be way over the top. I think it would be the first time (and would be the only time) that a team goes into conference championship weekend undefeated, loses, and tumbles out of the College Football Playoff when the smoke clears. And because of that, I hope this, or something like this happens because we need a ton of chaos for the final four-team CFP ever.

Now we go to the next tier down: the New Year’s Six. The final New Year’s Six. I would shed a tear but it feels like it’s hardly been around long enough:

January 1st	Fiesta Bowl	#9 USC	#11 Ohio State
December 30th	Orange Bowl	#5 Clemson	#7 Tennessee
December 30th	Peach Bowl	#8 Penn State	#10 Notre Dame
December 29th	Cotton Bowl	#6 Texas	#14 UTSA

Do the games look interesting? Absolutely. Could there be some debate as to who is here, who isn’t and where everyone should go (and how they get there)? Absolutely. Am I backing down from these predictions? Absolutely not. I mean if this was the 12-team playoff, I am sure people would debate that as well but you can’t tell me none of these teams would be worthy of being there. That’s crazy. “Durr, Texas doesn’t deserve to be there. They won’t even be bowl-eligible.” Yeah go fuck yourself if you think that. That’s just plain dumb.

Alright, enough anger, more analysis. Let’s start with Clemson since that’s the easiest one to explain. They were #2 and undefeated, lost to Florida State in the ACC Championship, so they get the Orange Bowl spot reserved for the top ACC team remaining. Simple. The Pac-12, in their final unglorious season, will again beat each other up making it impossible for one team to come out unscathed. So the ninth-ranked Trojans will head to the Fiesta Bowl after winning the Pac-12 title. Ohio State slots in as their opponent although it could easily be Penn State. The reasoning here is that tOSU already plays Notre Dame during the season and it makes more sense for USC to play in Phoenix than Penn State for bowl season. Those Longhorns I mentioned? They go off into the sunset, leaving the Big XII as conference champions. It puts them in the Cotton Bowl against the best Group of Five team. I think Tulane almost runs the table during the regular season and gets a pretty healthy lead in the rankings over the next best teams, UTSA and Boise State. The Roadrunners’ win in the AAC Championship would trump anything the Broncos do and, should be enough to leapfrog the Green Wave to sneak into the final NY6 spot. Let’s be honest here: Texas-UTSA at AT&T Stadium for the Cotton Bowl is an instant sellout, no doubt about it.

Now for the rest of the bowl extravaganza:

January 1st	Citrus Bowl	#12 LSU	Minnesota
January 1st	ReliaQuest Bowl	#20 South Carolina	Michigan State
December 30th	Arizona Bowl	San Diego State	Toledo
December 30th	Music City Bowl	Ole Miss	#17 Iowa
December 29th	Liberty Bowl	Texas A&M	#16 TCU
December 29th	Sun Bowl	Duke	#24 Utah
December 29th	Gator Bowl	Kentucky	#21 North Carolina
December 28th	Alamo Bowl	#19 Kansas State	#18 Oregon
December 28th	Pop Tarts Bowl	Pittsburgh	Oklahoma
December 28th	Pinstripe Bowl	Maryland	Louisville
December 28th	Fenway Bowl	Syracuse	FAU
December 27th	Texas Bowl	Arkansas	Baylor
December 27th	Holiday Bowl	Miami	#13 Oregon State
December 27th	Duke’s Mayo Bowl	Wake Forest	Auburn
December 27th	Military Bowl	NC State	#15 Tulane
December 26th	Guaranteed Rate Bowl	San Jose State	Oklahoma State
December 26th	First Responder Bowl	UCF	East Carolina
December 26th	Quick Lane Bowl	Illinois	Ohio
December 23rd	Hawaii Bowl	SMU	Fresno State
December 23rd	Las Vegas Bowl	#23 Wisconsin	Washington State
December 23rd	68 Ventures Bowl	South Alabama	Middle Tennessee
December 23rd	Idaho Potato Bowl	Air Force	Miami-OH
December 23rd	Armed Forces Bowl	Kansas	UTEP
December 23rd	Birmingham Bowl	Mississippi State	North Texas
December 23rd	Camellia Bowl	Appalachian State	New Mexico State
December 22nd	Gasparilla Bowl	UCLA	James Madison
December 21st	Boca Raton Bowl	Coastal Carolina	UConn
December 19th	Frisco Bowl	Marshall	Navy
December 18th	Myrtle Beach Bowl	Southern Miss	Buffalo
December 16th	Independence Bowl	Texas Tech	Memphis
December 16th	LA Bowl	#22 Washington	#25 Boise State
December 16th	New Mexico Bowl	Wyoming	Louisiana
December 16th	Cure Bowl	Army	Georgia Southern
December 16th	New Orleans Bowl	Troy	WKU
December 16th	Bahamas Bowl	Eastern Michigan	Liberty

That is a lot of bowl games. I am not complaining. I am fully embracing the Sickos mentality of all football is good football. Even arena football if you can believe it! And why am I not complaining? Because I am desperate for the season to start. Talk to me in mid-December and I may have a slightly different answer. Some notes on these bowl games:

• The teams that juuuuuuust missed out on the New Year’s Six train to nowhere include LSU, Oregon State, Tulane and TCU.
• Quite a few teams would be playing close to home, including Mississippi State travelling to relatively close by Birmingham, Air Force with a not-so-long drive north into Idaho, South Alabama playing exactly 0 kilometres from their home stadium in the renamed 68 Ventures Bowl, Ohio venturing into hostile territory to play in the Quick Lane Bowl and Wake Forest making their way to hopefully get their coach dumped with mayo in the Duke’s Mayo Bowl.
• Hey remember what I said two posts ago about James Madison and a surprise for their fans? I know that was a lot of reading ago. Look, there won’t be enough teams to satisfy all the bowl slots. I have a feeling that will be a trend going forward. And because of that, the Dukes will have the opportunity to go to a bowl if they are invited before the team with the best APR score. And I’m sure at least one bowl would do that since JMU should be good once again this season. Man, do I ever hate the transition rule. I get the first year coming up that you shouldn’t qualify for anything. Get your feet wet. Sure. Longer than that is just the NCAA being insufferable dicks and not updating policies that are over 50 years old.
• As for those 5-7 teams making bowls they would be Georgia Southern, Buffalo, and Navy (which would kill my scenario for the Army-Navy Game).

I guess I should mention who I think will win the whole thing. Well, I’ve got Georgia beating Florida State and Michigan beating Bama in the semis and then the Wolverines ending the three-peat talk by beating the Dawgs in Houston for the title. Then Khaki Jim can ride off into the sunset…that sunset being back to the NFL.

Well look who is back in the FBS. Rich God Damn Rodriguez! He is at the helm of one of FBS’s newest teams, the Jacksonville State Gamecocks. I’m sure it won’t be an amazing season for the team but man, who thought he would be back at the top level of college football? Probably a few although I wondered if he was basically done being a head coach at this level. Shows what I know.

Hey, hey it’s HOT SEAT TIME! Last year my top two were jettisoned and Herm got an all-timer of an on-field shitcanning. I am still surprised some made it to this season (I am looking at you Mike Bloomgren) but all in all this list is a list I am actually proud of since I actually do well at it, as morbid as that sounds.

Alright let’s get to the list. Going with the new categorizations as well this time around. Let’s go!

Almost Guaranteed Shitcanning

1. Neal Brown (West Virginia) – He was #3 on my list last season and I honestly don’t know how he is still employed in Morgantown. And it’s not like things are looking super rosy there. Needed to keep his job – Honestly? A fucking miracle. Prediction – A mid-to-late-season shitcanning and no job next year as he starts quite a few rungs down the ladder in 2025.
2. Danny Gonzales (New Mexico) – Now let’s head to the southwest and a place that is very difficult to win at. Other than Rocky Long I don’t think anyone has really done anything of note in Albuquerque. The problem becomes how long do you give a coach a chance to win at a place where victories are at a premium? Honestly, Gonzales would be lower down the list if it wasn’t for what Jerry Kill did down the road in Las Cruces last year. Needed to keep his job – Vying for a bowl spot in the final two weeks of the regular season. Prediction – Near the bottom of the Mountain West pecking order yet again and maybe even a late-season firing.
3. Dana Holgorsen (Houston) – Look, Drunk Uncle Dana is entertaining. But the shtick gets old. And if they are as mediocre as I believe they will be in their first year in the Big XII, it’ll be lights out for Holgorsen. Needed to keep his job – Bowl eligibility, period. Prediction – I don’t think they will even have a shot at a bowl game in the final week of the season meaning Dana’s fate will be pretty much sealed by that point.
4. Eliah Drinkwitz (Missouri) – I don’t like harping on a guy’s looks but this guy looks more like Milton from Office Space than a college football head coach. Which is perfectly fine…if you win. This guy has hovered around .500 since coming to CoMo and I think a year under .500 would be the final straw. Needed to keep his job – At least a .500 record if not an upset or two inside the SEC. Prediction – I see him falling one game short of his goal and the athletic department feeling like they have to make a move now rather than wait.
5. Mike Neu (Ball State) – Neu has had his moments at Ball State but really hasn’t rose above an also-ran in the MAC. The Cardinals seem to consistently sit near the bottom of the MAC West which gives plenty of reason for a coach to get jettisoned. Needed to keep his job – Bowl eligibility. That’s it, that’s all. Prediction – I can’t see them winning more than four games this season so expect him to be the most likely MAC head coach to be fired first.

Probable Shitcanning

6. Ricky Rahne (Old Dominion) – Rahne really has not been able to recreate some of the magic that his predecessor, Bobby Wilder, had.  I’m not saying the Monarchs were great under Wilder: but they were fun to watch and competed hard. Haven’t seen as much of that under Double R.  Needed to keep his job – Be competitive and play some meaningful November football.  Prediction – Quite possibly the worst Group of Five team and a tough decision to be made by the athletic director.
7. Tom Allen (Indiana) – Where are the 2020 Indiana Hoosiers?  We can finally say that that version of the team was a complete aberration which sucks for their fans.  Allen really is on borrowed time but there is the slight possibility he is kept on when the brand-new Big Ten starts next season without divisions.  A SLIGHT possibility.  Needed to keep his job – 4 or even 5 wins and looking more competitive against some better Big Ten teams.  Prediction – 3 wins and a quiet exit (for Tom).
8. Mike Bloomgren (Rice) – The bloom comes off the rose yadda, yadda, yadda.  One of these years I am going to be right about this guy.  Not that I want to be: I am just genuinely befuddled as to why this guy is still the head coach at Rice.  Needed to keep his job – Not looking like a punching bag moving up to the American Conference.  Prediction – Four wins which isn’t bad but some bad losses inside the conference and finally his removal from the sidelines.

Possible Shitcanning

9. Billy Napier (Florida) – Napier suffers from the fact that even if the previous few coaches have ended up as disasters they had their successes as well.  He hasn’t done anything and the Gators were barely bowl-eligible with a supposed franchise quarterback under centre.  Now it’s a step back.  It comes down to how far of a step back he will be allowed.  Needed to keep his job – Bowl eligibility should do the trick.  Prediction – I have them missing out on the postseason so there should be plenty of angry fans in Gainesville.
10. Brent Pry (Virginia Tech) – Poor Brent.  Last season wasn’t too bad when he took over the Hokies.  This season on the other hand…I don’t see good things in Blacksburg.  Maybe I’ll be wrong (and lord knows I have been wrong in the past) but if it’s as tough a season as I think it will be for VaTech, Pry might be fine with being done as head coach.  Needed to keep his job – Some improvement over last year.  Prediction – I have the Hokies winning only one game this season. One. That is not improvement. At all.
11. Greg Schiano (Rutgers) – I don’t know where Rutgers goes from here.  They’ve had a tough slog since joining the Big Ten.  They are the butt of pretty much every realignment joke and meme.  And I’m not sure firing Schiano, their best coach ever, will fix anything. But at some point, changes have to be made to at least try and improve.  Needed to keep his job – At least 4 wins but more to be competitive inside the Big Ten.  Prediction – 4 wins but the competitiveness part…yeah I don’t know about that.
12. Terry Bowden (ULM) – Same spot for Terry as last year.  I honestly don’t know the end game for all of this.  I can’t see him coaching the Warhawks into being a top notch Sun Belt team. Is he grooming the next head coach? It’s very confusing. That’s why I put him here and not higher up the list.  Needed to keep his job – Have a better record than last year and put a scare into a few of the better Sun Belt teams.  Prediction – Last year I predicted one win for them. This year it’s two. Something has to give at some point.
13. Shawn Elliott (Georgia State) – Look, it’s not like Georgia State is a destination coaching spot.  Saying that, the Sun Belt has become a lot tougher over the past half-a-decade.  So if you’re not moving forward, you’re falling further behind. And this is what it feels like with Georgia State. They aren’t getting worst but they aren’t improving and quite a few teams are leaving them in their dust.  Needed to keep his job – Competitive football in November and possibility for bowl eligibility during the final week.  Prediction – I have them at 4 wins this season so this could be an interesting off-season decision in Atlanta.
14. Scot Loeffler (Bowling Green) – This is Scott (with one T)’s fifth season at Bowling Green.  I don’t know why that surprises me but it does.  The Falcons really haven’t done anything other than sneak into one bowl game in his tenure.  It is, however, Bowling Green so the expeectations are a lot lower here. At some point, though, thre has to be some semblance of results and this guy just isn’t delivering.  Needed to keep his job – Bowl eligibility and looking like a contender in the MAC East.  Prediction – No bowl game and they won’t look like a contender. Saying that, he may still be around for 2024 but on a very short leash.
15. Jeff Hafley (Boston College) – It has been a struggle on the Hill for Hafley and with no divisions there’s nowhere really to hide now in the ACC. The lack of success over the past decade-plus could be what keeps Hafley on for 2024. Needed to keep his job – 5 wins and having a shot at a bowl on the final weekend. Prediction – 5 wins and they will have two shots to claim bowl eligibilty and will fail at both but it will be enough for another year with Hafley.

Doubtful Shitcanning (although it still could happen)

16. Justin Wilcox (California) – Wilcox might not have to worry if Cal just shuts down the entire program.  I’m only half-joking with that sentence.  I think the athletic department has much bigger things to worry about right now.  Meaning if Wilcox is fired it might be done by text.  Needed to keep his job – Possible bowl contention.  Prediction – They aren’t going to a bowl game and it looks like, for now, they have to be thinking about filling a schedule for 2024 more than dealing with their below-average head coach.
17. Mel Tucker (Michigan State) – Tucks signed for a lot of money to coach in East Lansing so last year better be an aberration.  Let’s be honest: even with being in arguably the toughest division in college football, the Spartans will be much improved this season. Shouldn’t be much of a worry here unless they come out of the gate VERY slowly.  Needed to keep his job – Probably 7 wins.  Prediction – He will get them to 7 and maybe, just maybe, they will put a scare into one of the top three teams in the division.
18. Dana Dimel (UTEP) – Dimel must have been thanking his lucky stars once he saw the exodus from Conference USA.  Having a few newcomers join makes things a bit easier for the Miners this year and gives Dimel one more year, almost certainly, on the job.  Next season? Who knows.  Needed to keep his job –  Fighting for bowl eligibility during the final weekend.  Prediction – They should be bowl eligible in early November so the pressure will be off…for now.
19. Thomas Hammock (Northern Illinois) – It feels like every other year at NIU things look good.  And then every other year things look bad. And so forth. So it should be good this year in Dekalb, no?.  Needed to keep his job – Look like a contender in the MAC West.  Prediction – I have them at five wins so maybe they will shock me?
20. Don Brown (UMass) – Probably the toughest job for a head coach in FBS is being the head man at UMass.  I have said for years now that the Minutemen should just drop to the FCS. I still think they should but I do understand the financial ramifications. Still, at some point don’t you think the fans yearn for something more than a couple of wins a season at most?  Needed to keep his job – Win a game. Any game.  Prediction – I think they win one game and I’m not guaranteeing it will be against their one FCS opponent. Brown should be fine going into 2024.

I think I say this ever year but I have to go back one day and really determine how good I am at this coaching hot seat list. I feel I do well and I hope the numbers would back me up. But I am used to disappointment so I am not holding my breath.

There’s a reason I don’t get a Heisman ballot. I am sure if even if I was the most prominent college football journalist in the land they would say “Sorry, Bossman, no can do.” Probably because my ballots have been mostly garbage in the past. Let’s see if I can somehow do better this year. Let’s just get to my ballot before I regret even posting this.

Bossman’s Heisman Ballot of Mediocrity

1. Jordan Travis, Florida State – I know everyone and their mother is picking Caleb Williams to win the Heisman. I can’t see that happening because voters almost seem to want to avoid giving any player not named Archie Griffin back-to-back Heismans and most of the time it goes to a player on a team that’s in the Top 4 (or close to it). Travis is predicted to at least go to New York for the ceremony so it’s not like I am way off here. Plus, I think his passing stats will explode as FSU hits the CFP for the first time in what feels like forever.
2. Caleb Williams, USC – Because I don’t have the Trojans winning the title this season or getting to the College Football Playoff is one of the main reasons I think Williams doesn’t win his second Heisman. He should be close to his passing stats from last season and at least he will make the voters think twice all year as he will never be far from the top of the Heisman hopefuls list.
3. Drake Maye, North Carolina – Maye is only a sophomore this season so he may be prepping for his true Heisman run in 2024. He will turn a lot of heads this season, though, with UNC battling FSU and Clemson at the top of the ACC.
4. Bo Nix, Oregon – Bo’s move from the SEC to the Pac-12 was huge and reinvigorated his fledgling career. Much of the Ducks’ hopes this year to win the Pac-12 in their swan song season rests on his shoulders and it is going to be a dogfight at the top. One huge game from Bo in a big conference game could put Oregon in the national title picture.
5. Marvin Harrison Jr., Ohio State – As long as the Buckeyes can figure out who is going to be flinging the ball over the field at quarterback, Harrison should have a monster season. There is an outside chance that he will be the #1 pick in the NFL Draft so I am sure he will be going all-out all season. As long as Ryan Day doesn’t decide to run the ball a lot more this season, Harrison is tOSU’s ticket to New York.
6. Michael Penix Jr., Washington – I believe that, as is the case lately, that the Pac-12 teams will beat each other up and no one will be high enough in the rankings to be in the CFP. For some players it’s not a huge issue (see: Williams, Caleb last year). For some, it’s the main reason they either don’t win the Heisman or don’t get invited to New York at all. I see Penix being one of those guys. Washington will be very good but not quite good enough and stuck in a group of six teams that are all pretty damn good this year. Playing out west doesn’t help either, despite what some may say.
7. J.J. McCarthy, Michigan – Here is the guy under center (centre?) who will finally push Michigan over the top this year. He won’t throw for a shit-ton of yards but it will be enough (along with this ground game) to put him in the Heisman conversation for a bit at least. A win over tOSU alone may give him the New York invite (if it was up to Michigan fans).
8. Quinn Ewers, Texas – Texas is probably a huge dark horse pick to win it all this year and Ewers has to be considered a bit of a dark horse Heisman cadidate. The only thing that could make this not the case is if he has a bad quarter or two and Sark gets an itchy trigger finger and puts Arch Manning in for longer than a few series.
9. Cade Klubnik, Clemson – The Fighting Dabos are going to be back on top…at least through the regular season. I don’t think many will be surprised with this. I’m not fully sold on Klubnik but he is an improvement on D.J. Uiagalelei and the Tigers defense will be able to pick up the slack when he struggles a bit. But those struggles will cost him a seat at the Heisman table I’m sure.
10. Jayden Daniels, LSU – Hey, have you ever remembred a time where the quality of the quarterbacks in the SEC has been this low? Not saying Daniels isn’t good because he is. But there are a few teams, Alabama and Georgia most notably, that have potential QB issues this season in the SEC and a few other teams that have returning quarterbacks that are honestly just above-average at best. Daniels may get some Heisman talk just because he may end up being that much better than any other QB in the conference.

Honourable Mention

• Blake Corum, Michigan
• Sam Hartman, Notre Dame
• Joe Milton III, Tennessee
• Braelon Allen, Wisconsin
• Kyle McCord, Ohio State
• Drew Allar, Penn State
• Harold Perkins, LSU
• Brock Bowers, Georgia
• J.T. Tuimoloau, Ohio State

There you go. If one of those nineteen aforementioned players wins the Heisman, I will feel…well, good is not quite correct. Satisfied? Sure, let’s go with that.

The college football predictions…..they are complete! In a little less than half a year from now, I will find out how poorly I did. Gee, I can’t wait.

At some point soon I will do my lovely NFL predictions which are sure to also be not fully correct. Then…….Week…..Fucking…….ZERO!!!!!! I will have the schedule up at least a few days before the games commence. And yes, if you are looking for games on the specialty pack, don’t. Week Zero has almost never shown Week Zero games. Almost. Kind of a crapshoot with these idiotic Canadian cable companies. Enjoy your week everyone!

Oh man, here we go again

It felt like things were calm. We were all lulled into this. It was just the eye of the storm. Sure the wind wasn’t moving but about 200 metres away, a cow just went flying headlong into a barn.

What am I talking about? Realignment, of course! Another shoe has dropped…OK let me use a different analogy. Sorry Deion. We have another big move as Colorado will be going back to the Big XII starting next season. And that probably won’t be all. The rumours have at least one of Arizona, Arizona State, Utah, Oregon or Washington following the Buffaloes. Or, if no other schools leave the Pac-12, the Big XII is more than willing to dip into the American Conference (hello SMU, Memphis, Tulane) or even way out east…yes, UConn! And maybe once the Pac-12 (or more like Pac-9) gets their act together, they can start bringing in teams from the Group of Five. The same teams from the American would be in play, especially SMU. Also, the Mountain West would be watching closely as San Diego State, Boise State and perhaps Colorado State and UNLV could be looked at. There will be a lot of meetings in the next month or so to determine where this all leads.

For now let’s focus on what this post was supposed to be (and still will be). It’s time for the Power Five conference predictions. This will give a better indication on how I think things will go during this season. So let’s dive right in!

Changes are coming soon for the Ess Ee Cee. Texas and Oklahoma join the conference next season. Also, no more SEC on CBS after this year. Everything moves to ABC and ESPN. And finally, no divisions. Halle-fucking-lujah.

As for this year, all the talk is about Georgia and doing something no team has done (fully) in the AP Poll era: win three national championships in a row. It’s not like they will fall apart, despite the fact they lost their starting quarterback and a bunch of other players in the NFL Draft. Then again, I’m sure Kirby Smart has looked them all dead in the eye and told them “Everyone thinks you are going to go 5-7 and lose to Vanderbilt. Prove them wrong!” And they will believe it because college football head coaches are just a notch-and-a-half below cult leaders in the pecking order of how much they can make their “followers” drink their Kool-Aid.

Remember, though, there are other teams in the conference as well. Like those lovable underdogs from Tuscaloosa, Alabama, and the team that just reeks of success (in the classroom and on the baseball diamond), Vanderbilt. And eleven other teams. Want to find out how I think they will do? OK. I will do that. Just for you.

		Conference		Overall
	East	W	L	W	L
	Georgia	7	1	11	1
	Tennessee	6	2	10	2
	South Carolina	5	3	8	4
	Kentucky	3	5	6	6
	Missouri	2	6	5	7
	Florida	2	6	5	7
	Vanderbilt	1	7	4	8
	West
	Alabama	8	0	12	0
	LSU	6	2	9	3
	Ole Miss	4	4	8	4
	Texas A&M	4	4	8	4
	Arkansas	3	5	7	5
	Auburn	3	5	7	5
	Mississippi State	2	6	6	6

Just For You

• You might think I am crazy for having UGA not run the table. I do think they will lose a regular season game and it will be to those upstart Tennessee Volunteers. It won’t keep them from winning the division though as you can see I have those same Vols losing two conference games during the regular season.
• As for the SEC West, though, Bama will once again rule the roost….as long as they figure out their quarterback situation. I am thinking they will and will go undefeated and be #1 in the nation going into conference championship weekend. If they don’t get their QB situation settled…well, maybe they lose two games? Three? It’s not like they will fall to 6-6.
• I could see South Carolina or last year’s SEC West champs, LSU, making a bit of a run this time around. They have the top two quarterbacks in the SEC and could each put up piles of points. Watch for the Cocks’ game against Georgia early on in the season and LSU’s post-Halloween trip to Bryant-Denny to face the Tide. Upsets in either of those games will seriously upset the apple cart.
• Look, the Gators were barely .500 with who I think may be one of the most overhyped quarterbacks in recent memory. I don’t think Anthony Richardson was that great. And now they don’t even have him. Unless every other part of the roster improved (it didn’t), how do people expect this team to bounce back and all of a sudden become an eight or nine win team? Spoiler alert: they won’t.
• I have Mississippi State at 6-6. They will do just enough to get a bowl game. I wonder how tough it will be after the loss of Mike Leach but I can see them straightening things out just in time late in the season.
• As for the SEC Championship, SURPRISE! I have the Dawgs beating the Tide and creating a massive clusterfuck in the final College Football Playoff rankings. Fun times!
• Eleven bowl teams from the SEC with two juuuuuust on the outside. That’s insane and I don’t think I will be that far off with this prediction. Next year could be even crazier with Texas and Oklahoma joining the conference that just means more.

Man have things really changed in terms of where you will see Big Ten games this season. Gone are ABC and ESPN. In is NBC and CBS. This is gonna feel weird the first time I see it. And maybe the next few times as well. I will get used to it at some point. Now if you want the opportunity to watch every Big Ten game, better find a way to get FOX Sports One and Peacock otherwise you will be shit out of luck to watch potential bangers like Northwestern-Purdue and Indiana-Rutgers (if they end up there and not the Big Ten Network).

Alright, let’s get into the final conference predictions before the B1G gives a big Fuck You to geography and brings in USC and UCLA.

		Conference		Overall
	East	W	L	W	L
	Michigan	8	1	11	1
	Penn State	8	1	11	1
	Ohio State	8	1	10	2
	Michigan State	5	4	7	5
	Maryland	5	4	8	4
	Indiana	1	8	3	9
	Rutgers	1	8	4	8
	West
	Minnesota	6	3	8	4
	Wisconsin	6	3	9	3
	Iowa	6	3	9	3
	Illinois	5	4	7	5
	Nebraska	2	7	5	7
	Purdue	2	7	5	7
	Northwestern	0	9	2	10

Geogpraphy, Go Eat a Dick

• Look, I know some might look at the Big Ten East standings and think I am a bit crazy. I am not. Although that is what a crazy person would tell you. Yep, a three-way tie at the top at 8-1 between Big Blue, tOSU and PSU. Because each team will be 1-1 against the other two, the CFP Rankings will decide the winner. I believe the Wolverines will somehow win that. And yes, I think Ohio State also loses to Notre Dame. O-H! I-No.
• If Sparty doesn’t make it to a bowl game, they may end up giving Mel Tucker the Herm Edwards treatment and fire him before he can leave the playing surface one game. I get they have a tough division but they should be able to do well enough against the rest of their schedule to get back in the postseason after last year’s debacle.
• No, I don’t have Wisconsin winning the West division. Meaning I am different than almost every expert out there. Also, there’s the fact I’m not an expert but I digress. Again I have a damn three-way tie but no need to look at the rankings for this one as I believe the Gophers will Row the Fucking Boat all the way to Indianapolis after beating both Wisky and the high-octane Iowa Hawkeyes. See what I did there? Yeah, I don’t care that the Hawkeyes have a new quarterback in town. Until Kirk tells his son to do better, Iowa will be pushing for some 7-6 victories. Sorry. 8-6. Two field goals and a late safety to win.
• Nebraska will be better but I think the Huskers are a season away from getting back to the top of the West…just in time for the West to just not exist anymore.
• As for Northwestern…man. What a shitshow. Look, I played a lot of sports earlier in my life and did so at the university level. Are there fun little pranks and stupid things the rookies have to do? Sometimes. But it’s usually harmless. Carrying bags, standing up during a team dinner to get embarrassed by singing some Mariah Carey song, dumb things like that. Not getting fucking dry humped in some cultish fashion by weirdos in robes. What the fuck is wrong with that school? And yes, it’s not just the football program. Sounds like at least half the teams there have serious issues. Ugh.
• Now let’s get crazy. Yeah! The Big Ten Championship will…OK who am I kidding. It won’t be close. I have Michigan plowing through Minny to clinch their spot, yet again, in the College Football Playoff.

Might as well call this the Stable Conference…for now. Just nothing happening here which is just fine for most of the teams in the ACC. Status quo isn’t a bad thing. There are some changes with where you will see games. The CW…yes, the C-Fucking-W, will have an ACC game during most of the weeks of the season. You can take the ACC out of Jefferson-Pilot (or Raycom) but you can’t take the Jefferson-Pilot (or Raycom) out of the ACC. Or something like that.

So before this conference possibly gets pillaged by the Big Ten and SEC, let’s get to the predictions followed by some deep tissue massage and/or analysis.

		Conference		Overall
		W	L	W	L
	Clemson	8	0	12	10
	Florida State	7	1	11	1
	North Carolina	6	2	9	3
	Pittsburgh	5	3	8	4
	Louisville	5	3	8	4
	Duke	4	4	8	4
	Wake Forest	4	4	7	5
	NC State	4	4	7	5
	Miami	4	4	7	5
	Syracuse	3	5	6	6
	Boston College	2	6	5	7
	Virginia	2	6	4	8
	Georgia Tech	2	6	4	8
	Virginia Tech	0	8	1	11

Deep Tissue Massage and/or Analysis

• I should book a massage. My back is in horrible shape.
• Some may scoff at me having Clemson going undefeated this season. They have the schedule to do it and if Cade Klubnik is as good as he can be this could relatively easily happen. If Klubnik struggles…well then this entire set of standings might need to be scrubbed from existence.
• Reader Gord will like where I have Florida State. This team could be scary good. And at the very least, they will be near the top of the ACC standings this season. Mike Norvell has done a great job getting this team back to what it was like during the Jimbo Fisher days. I had my doubts about him but I have to admit he has been the right guy to right the ship in Tallahassee.
• Hey did you notice? NO DIVISIONS! I love it.
• Don’t be surprised that if Clemson or FSU stumbles that there are no shortage of teams that could get one of the two ACC title game slots. A list of seven teams could pull off a couple of upsets and be at the top and it wouldn’t be a huge surprise. A slight surprise sure. Maybe a slightly bigger surprise if it was Miami or NC State. But not a massive surprise.
• Poor Virginia Tech. I think this will be their worst team since before Frank Beamer graced Blacksburg. It feels like it has been forever since the Hokies were contenders. It was only seven years ago when they were in the ACC Championship and almost upset the eventual national champions, Clemson. This team is pretty bad in almost every aspect of the game and the schedule will not be helpful to them. Other than Old Dominion I don’t see them winning any other game and the Monarchs have given VT all sorts of fits the past few years.
• Look for a tiny bit of a bounce back from Virginia. Just them taking the field after what happened last year is a win in my books.
• For that ACC title game, how about another game that will turn everything on its head. Yep, I think the Noles will get revenge for a regular season loss by inching out the Tigers. Chaos!

OK it’s about time the Big XII rebrands. They will have at least thirteen teams by the time the 2024 season starts and it may be as high as sixteen. So change the fucking name. They have the rights to the Big Fourteen and Big Sixteen so use one of those. It would be easy. Find a graphic design student at Kansas and have them do a new logo. Easy peasy. Why do I have to come up with everything?

Where was I? Oh that’s right, predictions. Let’s see if this conference will go all Pac-12 and cannibalize itself or if they can see a team get to the CFP once again. Also, Texas and Oklahoma will be trying their best to leave the conference on a high note much to the chagrin of the rest of the schools in the conference. So here are the Big XII standings predictions, followed by Belly Expansions.

		Conference		Overall
		W	L	W	L
	Texas	8	1	10	2
	Kansas State	7	2	10	2
	Baylor	6	3	8	4
	TCU	6	3	9	3
	Oklahoma	6	3	9	3
	Texas Tech	5	4	8	4
	Oklahoma State	5	4	8	4
	Kansas	4	5	7	5
	UCF	4	5	7	5
	BYU	3	6	5	7
	Cincinnati	3	6	5	7
	Houston	2	7	4	8
	Iowa State	2	7	4	8
	West Virginia	2	7	3	9

Belly Expansions

• No I don’t mean pregnancy. I mean eating a big meal and having to loosen the ol’ belt or just unbuckle the pants altogether. Funny enough, people in the restaurant don’t appreciate that.
• Let’s start at the bottom. There won’t be one truly bad team. There will be a bunch of below-average ones. West Virginia, Iowa State, Houston, Cincinnati and BYU could all finish last and I am sure no one would bat an eye.
• I see the Longhorns making their final Big XII season a special one. They have the team, the schedule and the head coach (I think) to be the top team in this conference this season. The only question will be can Quinn Ewers hold off Arch Manning. Will one of them transfer in the offseason? Remember, when you have two starting quarterbacks, you have none. I think.
• How about this lukewarm take: Kansas State will be good again. Yeah really going out on a limb there Bossman. This team has become so steady-as-she-goes it’s almost boring. The people in the Little Apple are fine with this.
• I do think one of the newcomers will make a bowl game and that team will be UCF. I think they are the most prepared of the newbies coming into this conference. But make no mistake about it: all four teams will be good at various points over the next few years.
• I can’t see Oklahoma taking enough of a leap to get to the Big XII Championship. Nor do I think the Horned Frogs of TCU have the, uh, toads? to make it back to the conference title game. Good seasons for both, yes, but not great.
• The Longhorns should win the conference title game in their final season in the Big XII. Will this get them into the CFP or will it “relegate” them to the New Year’s Six? I think you can tell from my predictions so far but you will know for sure in a different post.

So where are we going to be able to watch Pac-12 games in the future? Who the hell knows. My money is on PBS.

But seriously, the Pac-12 is quickly dropping from the Conference of Champions to almost a Group of Five conference. They are losing USC and UCLA next year to the Big Ten. They knew that already. The bombshell of Colorado leaving now has them at nine teams starting the 2024 season. And it may not end there. The only schools I haven’t heard potentially leaving are Oregon State and Washington State. That’s not to say all these rumours will be correct but I will be pretty surprised if no more teams leave for the Big XII before next season. It’s sad for a conference that really started their slide once Pete Carroll left USC for the NFL. Thanks a bunch, Peter.

Prediction time! No divisions which is one thing they are ahead of the game with, starting that last year. Let’s get to those divisionless predictions followed by some California Nightmarin’.

		Conference		Overall
		W	L	W	L
	USC	8	1	10	2
	Utah	7	2	9	3
	Oregon	7	2	9	3
	Oregon State	7	2	10	2
	Washington State	6	3	8	4
	Washington	6	3	9	3
	UCLA	5	4	8	4
	Colorado	3	6	4	8
	California	2	7	4	8
	Arizona	2	7	4	8
	Arizona State	1	8	3	9
	Stanford	0	9	2	10

California Nightmarin’

• No state will have it better this year in the Pac-12 than the state of Oregon. Both the Ducks and the Beavers look to be serious contenders and only need the ball to bounce their way one extra time to maybe get to the Pac-12 Championship. And considering the way that title game has gone, who knows what may happen after that.
• The strongest team, though, should be USC. They have Caleb Williams coming back to try and do what no one other than some guy named Archie has ever done, and that’s win two Heisman Trophies. The hope there is that the sting of the two season-ending losses will motivate them to push themselves that final step into the CFP.
• OK look, I know you see Washington in sixth place and you are wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. This is another case where the schedule is just flat-out against them. A slightly easier schedule and I might put this team at eleven or even, dare I say it, twelve wins. It will be that close at the top of the conference.
• On the other hand, I am sure no will think I’m crazy for putting Stanford in last place. It’s been a long time since the Cardinal have been this bad and it doesn’t look like they will be ready for bowl action for another year at least.
• I think I was fair putting Colorado at 4-8 for this season and playing fairly meaningful football going into November. There seems to be two schools of thought with this team. One section thinks Coach Prime has done wonders and with all the fresh faces in the lineup it will push the team over the line and into bowl-eligibility territory. The other section thinks the entire program is overhyped and they will win maybe two games. I am in the middle on this. This team won’t go bowling this year. That would be too much of a leap. But they should win more games than they did last year. If not, what the hell was all this hoopla for?
• As for the Pac-12 title game, USC gets the Pac-12 Championship they probably should have won last year. Problem is that by this point there will be a lot of teams in the mix for those four College Football Playoff spots and in typical Pac-12 fashion, the league will have cannabilized itself again and missed out on the CFP again.

There you go! You now have a complete set of Bossman conference predictions. Next up, is kind of the wrap-up post where I put everything in a nice, neat little ball and let you know who I believe will win the whole damn deal. Have a great week everyone!

Most Important Games of the 2023 College Football Season

Yeah I’m that fucking excited.

Spoiler alert: UConn does not appear on this list. If you were expecting them, I apologize for their absence.

Alright it’s time to start getting on the next season’s worth of college football posts and I always start with the most important games of the upcoming season. Remember last season when I did this post? I didn’t do three or four posts. I did one long-ass post. So guess what? No, we are not going back to three or four posts. It’s one massive post once again. I think it worked last year so I’m going back to the newer well rather than the older well that did me….well, over a bunch of years.

Now some might say “Bossman, it’s too early for this.” To them I say “Eat shit.” FBSchedules has their helmet schedules out and preview magazines are out. I’ve almost ready all of the Lindy’s one and I have the Athlon one ready to go right after. The Phil Steele magazine, the god damn granddaddy of them all, will be here in the next couple of weeks. So yeah I’m getting ready and yeah, it’s time to talk some college football.

Remember how this goes: I am listing the most important games that will shape the outcome of the entire college football season. Sure, Army-Navy is a huge game but unless either team is undefeated going into that one, the game means very little in the grand scheme of things, bowl-wise or other.

So boys and girls (maybe), how do we always start this post? That’s right, with the ranking of the weeks of the season. It is sponsored by the letter R and the number 0. Every year it is usually pretty close to the same. Week 2 is not all of a sudden going to be the biggest week of the college football season. It just never happens. So here are those rankings followed by some witty and potentially insightful banter (a reminder that the week is listed by the Saturday it corresponds to):

1. Week 11 – November 11
2. Week 13 – November 25
3. Week 10 – November 4
4. Week 4 – September 23
5. Week 8 – October 21
6. Week 7 – October 14
7. Week 12 – November 18
8. Week 6 – October 7
9. Week 5 – September 30
10. Week 9 – October 28
11. Week 3 – September 16
12. Week 2 – September 9
13. Week 1 – September 2

Sweet Jesus, Week 1 looks fucking awful. I mean it’s the first full week of the season so I will be all in but still…it’s like college football has taken several steps backwards from a few years ago when Week 1 was about the fifth or sixth-best week of the season and there were five or six HUGE games. This season, the opening week is highlighted by LSU/Florida State which is great. Then the quality falls off a massive cliff with the next biggest game being the annual Labour Day ACC clash, this time with Clemson and Duke. Woof. Three weeks in November, as per usual, are at the top with Week 11 being the top week this season. It was the same thing five years ago as the week is crammed with huge conference games. I don’t know if I can even call it SEC Sleepwalk/Sleepover/Shitbreak Week anymore as Week 12, the penultimate regular season week, is again near the middle of the rankings. Also, I don’t rate Week Zero. But it will be a ton of fun since it will be the first college football action in over 7 months. So yeah my eyeballs will be fucking glued to Navy/Notre Dame out in Dublin, Ireland, Hawaii/Vanderbilt and UMass/New Mexico State of course!

OK just like last year I will not be going week-to-week. I’m just listing the top games. The top 35 (up from 30) most important games of the college football season. I’ll do this list and then in late November we will all watch a team like Arkansas or Iowa or NC State play in a game that could send them well on their way to the College Football Playoff. It is what it is. Let’s get to the list! For this list, any confirmed broadcast info will be noted. Of course, nothing for TSN will be confirmed until like the night before any of these games because fuck you that’s why.

1. Ohio State at Michigan (Week 13, Noon, FOX, confirmed) – Chances are this is essentially for a spot in the College Football Playoff. Next year, this might be for a first-round bye in the CFP. How times change. Either way, this is unequivocally the biggest game of the season and the one where FOX sends basically everyone that works under the sports umbrella to work on the 83-hour BIG NUDE SATURDAY.
2. LSU at Alabama (Week 10, 8:00, CBS) – Alabama is pretty much the go-to pick for CBS’s lone primetime game of the season for the SEC and this year will be no different. This is the final SEC on CBS primetime game and should be a great one as these two teams are, once again, the pillars of the SEC West. The winner here is almost guaranteed (jury is still out on Ole Miss and TAMU) a spot in Atlanta to try and dethrone Georgia (probably).
3. Michigan at Penn State (Week 11, Noon, FOX, confirmed) – This game, like the first game on the list, could have national championship implications. It really is just a hair below the top two games on this list. FOX is hitting it out of the park with big games this season. I think the Big Ten might be just fine not being on ESPN/ABC going forward.
4. LSU at Florida State (Week 1, Sunday, 7:30, ABC, confirmed) – Two games in the top four for LSU means they will have a very tough road to get back to having some semblance of a shot at the College Football Playoff (or even the New Year’s Six). This seems like it could finally be the year that FSU returns to the top of the ACC mountain as Mike Norvell has his most talented team in Tallahassee. I love seeing ABC put a great game on the night before Labour Day. At least Week One can always rely on that.
5. Georgia at Tennessee (Week 12, 3:30, CBS) – If Joe Milton III continues to throw piss rockets like he did against Clemson in the Orange Bowl, this could ascend to Game of the Year territory. The Vols may have the best chance to beat the Dawgs with the game being at what should be a raucous Neyland Stadium. Not confirmed but I would be shocked if this isn’t CBS’s choice for the SEC on CBS this week.
6. Penn State at Ohio State (Week 8, Noon, FOX) – Man, GUS JOHNSON is getting a great set of games this season to call (if my predictions hold up). This is the final game on this list in the three-team Big Ten East Round Robin Tournament El Fantastico to determine which team (if not two) go to the CFP. I would say the Nittany Lions are pretty good underdogs here but they finally have a quarterback who looks like he can throw the ball downfield a bit so you never know. tOSU has question marks at QB so this could be quite the interesting matchup.
7. Florida State at Clemson (Week 4, 7:30, ABC/TSN2) – Could the Noles be the favourite here? It’s possible. Unlikely but I wouldn’t go much past a pickem for this one. With the Big Ten leaving ESPN/ABC, these primetime ABC slots open up a lot. And really, it is still the biggest timeslot of the week. This is the year the ACC has to hopefully grab as many of these as possible as next year…yeah, the SEC may end up with all of them.
8. Tennessee at Alabama (Week 8, 3:30, CBS) – Not going to lie: it is going to feel very weird when the SEC isn’t on CBS every Saturday afternoon. I guess that’s where a huge Big Ten game will go but I can’t see them getting most of the big games because FOX gets their pick of the litter most weeks. Going to be very interesting to watch going forward. Man, I thought figuring out this year’s schedule was difficult. Next year’s is going to seriously tough.
9. Ohio State at Notre Dame (Week 4, 7:30, NBC, confirmed) – The first non-conference affair on this list and it is a juicy one. Both teams should be undefeated coming into this one unless the Irish have an inexplicable loss like they had last season to Marshall or Stanford. If Touchdown Jesus pulls this one out, expect Sam Hartman to rocket up most Heisman lists.
10. Texas at Alabama (Week 2, 7:00, specialty pack) – This game is confirmed for ESPN but I have this funny feeling TSN won’t pick it up. Call it a CFL or US Open-based hunch. We shall see though. Let’s be clear: the Horns were fucking robbed of the win last year by the referees. This time they will have a chance to make up for that but it is not easy winning in Tuscaloosa. Ask almost every team that’s travelled there in the past decade-plus.
11. Utah at USC (Week 8, 7:30, ABC) – Hey, the Pac-12 has joined the party. This is the swansong season in the conference for the Trojans and they are hoping to win the conference championship in their final year. Winning games like these is a must for that to happen. This could be the game that either elevates Caleb Williams to college football history and only the second player to win two Heismans or destroy his chances at repeating.
12. Ohio State at Wisconsin (Week 9, 7:30, NBC) – Yeah I think NBC will get a couple good Big Ten games and this will be one of them it sounds like. Wisconsin has a new head coach and a new quarterback and a new offensive coordinator that won’t run the ball as much as Wisconsin is supposed to. Hmmm…that is going to feel very unAlvarez-like. At least the kids will get to jump around after the third quarter, testing the structure of Camp Randall like a bunch of engineers.
13. Washington at USC (Week 10, 3:30, specialty pack) – Again, I have this feeling that TSN will not show this game and that it will head to the specialty pack, much to the chagrin of regular Canadian cable subscribers (which I am not one of). It feels like either this game or the aforementioned Utes-Trojans game will be the game of the year in the conference and will decide at least one of the championship game participants (thanks to no divisions). It’s too bad FOX has their premiere game every week at Noon since this would be a great pick as their game of the week.
14. Ole Miss at Georgia (Week 11, 3:30, CBS) – Wouldn’t it be something if the Fighting Kiffins of Oxford upset UGA here? The entire college football world would be flipped upside down. And you know how I love upsets. We need another 2007!
15. Utah at Washington (Week 11, 3:30, TSN2) – Alright, the first game I predict will hit TSN that isn’t already on ABC. Kind of sad that TSN barely cares about their college football contract until bowl season when they suddenly show almost every bowl game despite also showing every World Juniors hockey game. Crazy. If Cam Rising is able to return for opening week then this could be a massive game. I am hoping for his sake (and for Utes fans’ sake) that is the case.
16. USC at Notre Dame (Week 7, 7:30, NBC, confirmed) – The traditional yearly matchup is back again and even with the Trojans moving to the Big Ten, this matchup will continue. By this point in the season, both of these teams should be in the Top 15 looking at a potential College Football Playoff berth. The loser here loses that and perhaps an NY6 spot.
17. Alabama at Texas A&M (Week 6, Noon, TSN3/TSN5) – OK I am sure you are looking at this and wondering if I suddenly developed brain damage. I truly believe that the Aggies will be a ton better than they were last season when they essentially bottomed out under Jimbo Fisher. Plus, the Aggies always play the Tide tough so they could throw a big-ass monkey wrench in the entire SEC West picture here with a win.
18. Notre Dame at Clemson (Week 10, 3:30, ABC) – OK so this is confirmed for ABC but the time is not confirmed. I am guessing it will be on in the afternoon with Kansas State-Texas being the ABC Primetime game. This could end up being switched if both the Irish and Tigers are undefeated going into this one. For once, Clemson isn’t the ACC favourite. It’s kind of refreshing. It will be interesting to see if Cade Klubnik, the next man up at quarterback, can lead the Tigers back to the promised land. I don’t see it but then again, I thought D.J. Uiagelelei was going to be the guy and he’s now out in the boonies of Oregon.
19. USC at Oregon (Week 11, 7:30, ABC) – Speaking of Oregon, the Trojans head there on Remembrance Day night (or I guess it’s Veterans Day down in the States). Yet another tough test for the Trojans. We all know what’s going to happen though. The best four or five Pac-12 teams will beat on each other and no team will get out unscathed so no team will go to the CFP yet again. That conference just loves to cannibalize itself.
20. Ole Miss at Alabama (Week 4, 3:30, CBS) – A bit of an early shit-test game for the Tide. A game that they should win but they may have trouble with because their opponent is so damn pesky and annoying. I mean it is Lane Kiffin’s boys so you expect the Ole Miss offense to chug along. Bet the over.
21. Oregon at Utah (Week 9, 7:30, ABC/TSN2) – Could the Utes fall back to the middle of the pack if they don’t have Cam Rising to start the season? Quite possibly. I mean seeing this game in the Top 25 games of the season means I clearly think Rising will be ready to play on opening night. If not, pray for the Utes since it could be a long season (comparatively…I mean they will still win 8 or 9 games regardless).
22. Washington at Oregon State (Week 12, 10:30, TSN2) – Hey remember when I mentioned D.J. Uiagelelei? Here’s where he ended up. The metropolis of Corvallis. The Beavs might actually have a contender if D.J. can do what he was supposed to do at Clemson. On the other side of the line, Michael Penix Jr. should be considered the Heisman favourite since I can’t see voters giving it to Caleb Williams again (unless he has an all-timer of a season).
23. Texas A&M at LSU (Week 13, 3:00, specialty pack) – I actually have this game on the SEC Network. Yeah it may sound weird but this has happened before. And that final week of the regular season is ridiculous for scheduling anyway. At least one of the conference networks ends up getting a beauty of a game. Now if this is somehow for the SEC West title then yeah, it won’t even sniff the SEC Network. But I feel it won’t be so it will end up there.
24. Oregon at Washington (Week 7, 8:00, FOX) – Last year’s game was crazy with the Huskies having a huge comeback win to keep their Pac-12 hopes alive and ruin Oregon’s. I wonder if Mario Cristobal wishes he was back in Eugene considering how piss poor his Miami Hurricanes did in his first season back with his alma mater.
25. Utah at Oregon State (Week 5, Friday, 9:00, FOX Sports One, confirmed) – And finally we get a game that, well, Canadians won’t get (unless you have IPTV or find some probably illegal stream). You know, for a stadium that’s been under construction and only holds 27,000, those games in Corvallis can sound VERY loud. Then again, when they start that chainsaw, that’s loud enough. You ever been near one of those? Sweet fucking Jesus they are loud with great ear protection so I can imagine what it’s like being within twenty feet of the thing.
26. LSU at Ole Miss (Week 5, Noon, TSN2) – A lot of people will feel like this is a game for second place in the SEC West but with Bama’s QB questions, this could hold a lot more importance than that. Not saying the division is a free-for-all but I have these two teams, Bama and even the Aggies having legitimate shots at winning the division so they can be pummeled by UGA in the SEC Championship.
27. Iowa at Penn State (Week 4, 7:30, CBS, confirmed) – The first game on this list that has the Big Ten on CBS (man that sounds weird). This is confirmed and I believe the Penn State Whiteout Game is also confirmed. To say it’s an intimidating sight for a visiting team would be an understatement.
28. South Carolina at Georgia (Week 3, 3:30, CBS, confirmed) – This may be the first game that feels like it might not be that close. Saying that, Shane Beamer has the Gamecocks playing great football and they have the enthusiasm and work ethic to give the Dawgs a very tough time. Problem is they are playing this game between the hedges and not at Williams-Brice. If UGA can’t win this by a bunch, the rest of the SEC East should take notice.
29. Oregon State at Oregon (Week 13, Friday, 8:30, FOX, confirmed) – This could be one of the biggest Civil War games ever. Oh wait, I can’t call it’s the Civil War, can I? Anyway, the winner of this game probably will have a good chance to be in the Pac-12 Championship.
30. Kansas State at Texas (Week 10, 8:30, FOX) – It took until the thirtieth game to get a Big XII conference game. Look, as much crap as the Pac-12 has taken over the Spring (and rightfully so), the Big XII might be at its weakest in a long time unless a few programs step up (Texas, Oklahoma, Baylor) or maintain what they did last season (Kansas State, TCU, Kansas). This conference should feel lucky that the Pac-12 is in such dire straits. The latest rumor has Colorado and Arizona headed to the Big XII and it wouldn’t surprise me but from a football standpoint…woof.
31. Texas A&M at Tennessee (Week 7, Noon, TSN3) – OK maybe I should have stopped at 30. No, no, I promised 35 for some strange reason and dammit I am going to pull through. I am actually looking forward to Texas A&M’s season for one reason…Bobby Fucking Petrino. At some point you know it will be a disaster in College Station. It is bound to happen. Until then though you have one of the best offensive minds in college football trying to push this Aggie team to the next level. Just tell him to steer clear of motorcycles and young female former athletes-turned-office staff.
32. Texas at TCU (Week 11, 7:00, FOX) – What a run the Horned Frogs had last year (if you don’t include the thrashing they took in the national championship game). They probably won’t be as good this season. To lose who they lost and somehow come back and do what they did would be almost impossible. Saying that, the Longhorns should not take this team lightly as they have struggled in the past with them even when TCU wasn’t that great. We should also definitely know by this point whether Quinn Ewers has completely taken that quarterback job or if Arch Manning’s time has arrived in Austin.
33. North Carolina at Clemson (Week 12, 7:30, ABC) – Look let’s not look past the Tar Heels. They have a Heisman candidate at quarterback in Drake Maye and sometimes that is enough to propel a team to an extra win or two, which is pretty much what UNC would need to get to the ACC Championship. Death Valley East is still Death Valley East and playing there at night is very difficult for opponents. But again, don’t look past the Heels and Mack Brown.
34. UCLA at USC (Week 12, 8:00, FOX) – Time once again for the Victory Bell and it is gonna feel weird. Final Victory Bell in the Pac-12. No DTR means possible trouble for the Bruins and if they can’t find a quarterback to lead them this season then this game has no right to be in the Top 35.
35. Clemson at South Carolina (Week 13, 7:00, TSN2) – My hope is that TSN does pick up the ball a bit for the final week of the season like they used to. It was 2019 when they were doing double digits’ worth of games for the final college football weekend. Now, we are lucky to get 4 or 5 which is crazy since there’s almost nothing to compete with it in the live sports arena. Anyway, it’s the Battle for the Palmetto State and it is usually a fun game that can get way too rough at times. Should be good. I hope.

Finished! Top 35 games of the season. I am sure there will be some that end up not coming close to being as important as I thought. That’s the nature of the game. Can’t always be right with these things. I will have another blog post shortly highlighting some other good (and perhaps not-so-good) games this season coming up shortly. 62 days left until Week Zero! Sure it’s not the best college football you will see all season but it will be college football so yeah I’m gonna fucking watch it all if I can! Have a great week, everyone!

Hey let’s do some Bowl Game Rankings!!!!

I’ve done some different scales for this post. In some cases I have done just a straight ranking, other times I have done the Network Scale and of course there is the Uncle Verne scale.

This year I will go slightly different. I am introducing the Play-by-Play Announcer Scale! That’s right, I am going to rank the bowl games going from best play-by-play announcers down to, well, not as good ones let’s say. I mean if you aren’t Mike Goldberg you are at least competent at calling football, right?

So let’s get started. 41 bowl games. 8 tiers. 1 blog post. This sounds like Survivor.

The Jackson/Musburger Tier

Must-see games. No matter what. Even if you are a casual college football fan, you will want to watch these.

Peach Bowl – Georgia vs. Ohio State (Dec. 31, 8:00, TSN2) – There is a reason this game was chosen for primetime and not the other College Football Playoff semi-final. On paper, this is the bowl game of the season and nothing else is really close. Yes, the Buckeyes backed in to the CFP which will make a few fans upset but don’t worry: in two years that won’t make a difference. Georgia does look primed to repeat as national champs but this one will not be easy and it might not end before 2022 ends. My pick: Georgia 40 Ohio State 34.

Fiesta Bowl – Michigan vs. TCU (Dec. 31, 4:00, TSN3) – Normally I would rail against the College Football Playoff semi-final games being on New Year’s Eve but to be honest, I don’t care this year. Not going out for New Year’s so it’s football watching time. I can see many people up here, who are watching TV at least, being split between this and Canada’s World Juniors game against Sweden. How close this is will probably dictate what kind of viewing audience the hockey game gets. Anyway, fingers crossed this is a good one as many think TCU can’t hang with the Wolverines. To be honest, as much as I would love to see the Horned Frogs pull this out, I can’t see it happening. My pick: Michigan 39 TCU 21.

Rose Bowl – Penn State vs. Utah (Jan. 2, 5:00, TSN2) – I always wish the Rose Bowl would go back to ABC. It just feels like it belongs there. The Nittany Lions come in here exactly where pretty much everyone thought they would be. Losses to Michigan and Ohio State and relatively mundane victories over everyone else. Utah is probably the hotter team coming in, coming off their Pac-12 Championship win over USC. My pick: Utah 35 Penn State 30.

Orange Bowl – Clemson vs. Tennessee (Dec. 30, 7:30, TSN2) – This bowl is orange. ORANGE bowl. ORANGE tigers. ORANGE volunteers. ORANGE everything! Let’s just hope both teams don’t figure they should be wearing orange uniforms. This might end up being the most competitive of the New Year’s Six bowl games. This might have been the top New Year’s Six game if not the top bowl game period (seriously) but without Hendon Hooker, it won’t be the case. My pick: Clemson 27 Tennessee 24.

Alamo Bowl – Texas vs. Washington (Dec. 29, 9:00, specialty pack) – It felt like these two teams had good chances to be involved in conference championship weekend. Alas, they both came up short in odd circumstances (especially in hindsight) so they land here in San Antonio. The Alamo Bowl is usually one of the top non-CFP, non-NY6 bowl games and this one is no exception. There should be a LOT of points with Quinn Ewers and Michael Penix Jr. chucking the ball over the field indoors. Take the over. My pick: Washington 48 Texas 40.

The Lundquist/Nessler Tier

These are still big although these guys were hampered by some, uh, questionable analysts *COUGH*Gary Danielson*COUGH*

Cotton Bowl – USC vs. Tulane (Jan. 2, 1:00, TSN2) – Some may call this the worst of the New Year’s Six games. I disagree. It could end up being a fun one especially if USC tackles like they did in the Pac-12 Championship. A lot will ride on if Caleb Williams is 100% or not because if he isn’t, the Green Wave could pull off the biggest victory in the long history of that program. My pick: USC 44 Tulane 31.

Holiday Bowl – North Carolina vs. Oregon (Dec. 28, 8:00, FOX) – If you watch this game for one thing, it should be the quarterbacks. Oregon’s Bo Nix is confirmed to be ready to go and Drake Maye will be there as well and hopefully not playing like he did in the ACC Championship (which was easily his worst game of the season). My pick: Oregon 38 North Carolina 25.

Sugar Bowl – Alabama vs. Kansas State (Dec. 31, Noon, TSN3) – This is gonna feel REAL odd to see the Sugar Bowl on at Noon on New Year’s Eve. Let’s consider this the lesser of the New Year’s Six games. Still good but it’s a wonder whether one of the teams will show up. The Wildcats certainly will be ready to go but will Bama be ready for this one? I could see several Bama players opting out or entering the transfer portal or just not caring. Also, Nick Saban is either going to seriously pissed off and motivating his players like crazy or barely wanting to be there himself. My pick: Kansas State 31 Alabama 28.

Cure Bowl – UTSA vs. Troy (Dec. 16, 3:00, TSN1) – EASILY the best pre-Christmas bowl game. And it is played on a Friday afternoon. Ugh. Surprisingly, this is the only bowl game that features two conference champions. And it’s a bit of a classic offense vs. defense matchup as the Roadrunners, who definitely live up to their name, take their high-octane offense to Orlando to face the all-time leader in tackles in FBS in Carlton Martial. Should be a good one. My pick: UTSA 33 Troy 26.

Gator Bowl – South Carolina vs. Notre Dame (Dec. 30, 3:30, TSN2) – The Gamecocks had, arguably, the two biggest season-changing wins this season, destroying Tennessee and eeking out a victory against Clemson. These two games changed the College Football Playoff and New Year’s Six for sure. As for the Irish, things looked bleak but Marcus Freeman has turned things around and are trying to finish his first season with a big bowl win. My pick: Notre Dame 28 South Carolina 17.

The Fowler/McDonough Tier

You know, at the very least, that a game called by either of these two will be a great one…on paper. No guarantees otherwise.

ReliaQuest Bowl – Mississippi State vs. Illinois (Jan. 2, Noon, specialty pack) – The Outback Bowl is history. Honestly I went once and it was pretty overrated (except for the Bloomin’ Onion which was fantastic). Now it’s sponsored by ReliaQuest which is supposedly a cybersecurity company. Fun. My pick: Illinois 27 Mississippi State 19.

Citrus Bowl – LSU vs. Purdue (Jan. 2, 1:00, ABC/TSN3) – The first game on ABC on this list. How sad. I guess this a nice consolation for getting boatraced in a conference championship game as both of these teams were. Let’s see which team is hungrier and wants to create some momentum going into the offseason. My pick: Purdue 39 LSU 36 (OT)

Texas Bowl – Ole Miss vs. Texas Tech (Dec. 28, 9:00, TSN3) – Do not, and I repeat, do not go grab a snack or a drink unless you are sure it’s a commercial break. These two teams will light up the scoreboard. I can see this game not ending until after 1 in the morning. My pick: Ole Miss 51 Texas Tech 42.

LA Bowl – Washington State vs. Fresno State (Dec. 17, 3:30, ABC/TSN3) – This could be another game where you should probably take the over. At the very least, Jake Haener should light the Wazzu defense up. Whether the Cougs can do what the Cougs usually do (throw the ball about 2,000 times a game) is up for debate. My pick: Fresno State 49 Washington State 28.

Sun Bowl – Pittsburgh vs. UCLA (Dec. 30, Noon, CBS) – If it wasn’t for Pitt actually turning things around late in the season, I would have had the Bruins winning this one in a cakewalk. My pick: UCLA 35 Pittsburgh 29.

The Franklin/Enberg Tier

Two old-school announcers who might actually be underrated. It was always good to hear their voice though.

Cheez-It Bowl – Oklahoma vs. Florida State (Dec. 29, 5:30, specialty pack) – This game is at the top of the list if it’s 1987. Now? Not so much. I mean at least the Noles are holding up their end of the bargain. The Sooners? That’s a different story. My pick: Florida State 40 Oklahoma 30.

Las Vegas Bowl – Florida vs. Oregon State (Dec. 17, 2:15, TSN2) – Thanks to the Raiders being terrible, this game was moved back from their ABC primetime slot to a mid-afternoon slot on ESPN. Ugh. I think the Beavers deserved better. This could be a 10-win season for a team that almost never hits that plateau. And with Anthony Richardson opting out of this one, it won’t be pretty. My pick: Oregon State 36 Florida 10.

Military Bowl – Duke vs. UCF (Dec. 28, 2:00, TSN3) – This game may be overlooked by many and it shouldn’t be. I mean the timeslot doesn’t help but I could see this being a good game. A really good Group of Five team up against a much-improved Power Five team. It’s kind of what bowl season is partially about. My pick: Duke 31 UCF 27.

Duke’s Mayo Bowl – Maryland vs. NC State (Dec. 30, Noon, TSN2) – It’s always fun when you know the winning coach gets a big vat of mayo dumped on them at the end. This also being a matchup of former ACC foes gives this at least a bit of intrigue. My pick: Maryland 41 NC State 38 (OT).

Fenway Bowl – Louisville vs. Cincinnati (Dec. 17, 11:00 AM, TSN2) – This would have been well down the list if it weren’t for the fact that Scott Satterfield just left Louisville to become the new head coach at Cincinnati. He should try and coach both teams. I would definitely love to see that. My pick: Louisville 29 Cincinnati 21.

The GUS/TESSITORE Tier

MY GOD! DID YOU JUST…..SEE………THAT THREE-YARD RUN! FANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTASTIC. Lots of enthusiasm for this tier from two guys who get enthusiastic for a touchback.

Armed Forces Bowl – Baylor vs. Air Force (Dec. 22, 7:30, TSN2) – Other than the Bears nearly beating TCU they did nothing of note this season. A big downgrade from the previous season. The academy is actually winning games because of their defense. So a great defense against a coach who is known for great defenses. Choose the under. My pick: Air Force 24 Baylor 20.

Liberty Bowl – Arkansas vs. Kansas (Dec. 28, 5:30, TSN3) – The Jayhawks were the feel-good story through the end of October this season. Unfortunately they are not playing very good football lately. Arkansas on the other hand…well, they’ve been no more than mediocre all season but they have the talent to put up points especially if they get the running game going. My pick: Arkansas 26 Kansas 21.

Music City Bowl – Kentucky vs Iowa (Dec. 31, Noon, ABC/TSN2) – Thankfully for all of us there is another bowl game on at the same time. This could end up being a yawner. You would have to be a moron to pick the over here. My pick: Kentucky 14 Iowa 10.

Pinstripe Bowl – Minnesota vs. Syracuse (Dec. 29, 2:00, TSN1) – The Cuse is back in the Bronx and I remember the last time they were here. A fabulous FOOTBAW WEATHER game against Kansas State. I hope the weather is shit for this one. Sorry to all the players and coaches and fans. My pick: Minnesota 29 Syracuse 17.

Gasparilla Bowl – Missouri vs. Wake Forest (Dec. 23, 6:30, specialty pack) – Still wish this was sponsored by Bad Boy Mowers. That was fun. This should be the swansong for Sam Hartman so expect the Deacs to throw the ball over the field. I can’t see Mizzou stopping them, plus they have already lost a few players to the transfer portal. My pick: Wake Forest 36 Missouri 14.

The Jones/Criqui Tier

Ah remember when these two would call a game on NBC? It was either a great bowl game or perhaps even a Notre Dame game when they started on NBC. Those were the days. They don’t quite measure up to the ones above them but are still great play-by-play guys.

New Mexico Bowl – BYU vs. SMU (Dec. 17, 7:30, ABC/TSN3) – And we start this section with a rematch of the 1980 Holiday Bowl that had an absolutely insane ending (look it up if you haven’t seen it before). I could see another shootout here, especially from SMU since they did put up 77 on a pretty good Houston team. My pick: SMU 39 BYU 34.

New Orleans Bowl – South Alabama vs. WKU (Dec. 21, 9:00, specialty pack) – This used to be the game where the Sun Belt and Conference USA champs went. Not anymore. At least we have two programs on the rise, especially South Alabama who is looking for their first 11-win season. My pick: South Alabama 38 WKU 16.

Birmingham Bowl – Coastal Carolina vs. East Carolina (Dec. 27, 6:45, TSN2) – Let’s call it the Battle for Lesser Carolina since the five ACC Carolina schools (as well as South Carolina) would have a fit if I called it the Battle for the Carolinas. If Grayson McCall plays this could be one of the best bowls of the season. We know Holton Ahlers will throw the ball about 50 times so there will be no shortage of offense. I’m going out on a limb and saying McCall will be ready. My pick: Coastal Carolina 49 East Carolina 47.

Guaranteed Rate Bowl – Wisconsin vs. Oklahoma State (Dec. 27, 10:15, TSN2) – Wisky comes in with no head coach as Luke Fickell won’t start with the team until after the bowl game. The Pokes definitely have a head coach and Captain Mullet watched his quarterback and the Badgers’ QB head to the transfer portal. It should be close but might not have as many points as the previous game on this list. And by might not, I mean definitely won’t. My pick: Wisconsin 28 Oklahoma State 23.

Arizona Bowl – Wyoming vs. Ohio (Dec. 30, 4:30, Barstool Sports) – The only bowl game you can’t get here. Hell, there may not even be an illegal stream for this one. Ohio has to be disappointed that they came pretty close to winning their first conference title in over five decades. I can see them coming in here wanting to prove a point. My pick: Ohio 32 Wyoming 21.

The Patrick/Hammond Tier

Here’s some 90s guys for you. They weren’t the greatest but they were pretty good and you knew their voices. They just tended to fuck up every so often…Patrick more than Hammond because Hammond only had to cover Notre Dame and whatever team Notre Dame was playing that weekend.

Boca Raton Bowl – Toledo vs. Liberty (Dec. 20, 7:30, TSN2) – Hey, the Rockets won the MAC and the Flames started 8-1 so it’s not like we have two teams who crawled into bowl season. Neither team scores much and both have had their embarrassing losses so maybe it’s time for some players to impress their coach, right? My pick: Toledo 34 Liberty 33.

Myrtle Beach Bowl – UConn vs. Marshall (Dec. 19, 2:30, TSN1) – Sorry for Marshall fans but no one gives a fuck that your team is in this bowl. It’s all about UConn. An unreal turnaround by Jim Mora Jr. and the Huskies as this team improbably going bowling on the teal turf on the South Carolina coast. Now watch the Herd destroy the fun. My pick: Marshall 35 UConn 17.

Independence Bowl – Houston vs. Louisiana (Dec. 23, 3:00, TSN2) – This feels like the death spot in the bowl schedule. Pre-Christmas, Christmas Eve Eve if you will. In the afternoon. Ugh. Also you have two up-and-down teams that really don’t have a calling card. I’ll watch it but if it gets to be out of hand in the second half, there’s no guarantees I will keep it on. My pick: Houston 32 Louisiana 14.

Idaho Potato Bowl – San Jose State vs. Eastern Michigan (Dec. 20, 3:30, TSN2) – Many fans will pull for the Spartans considering the tragedy that happened late in the season. Don’t forget there’s another team in Boise for this game, though. The Eagles have quietly gone to five bowl games since Chris Creighton took over in a stunning turnaround for a once terrible program. I still wish this game was played at night so it could be icy cold and the field may or may not turn into an ice rink. My pick: San Jose State 24 Eastern Michigan 20.

Frisco Bowl – North Texas vs. Boise State (Dec. 17, 9:15, TSN2) – Almost a home game for North Texas here. And no this isn’t the legendary Frisco Football Classic that had a one-and-done deal last year. Another classic offense vs. defense matchup as the Mean Green can move the ball but Boise has had their best defense in a long time. I wonder how UNT will be considering they just fired Seth Littrell in a bit of shocking move. My pick: Boise State 27 North Texas 10.

The Ward/Bestwick Tier

OK I lied. Not that there are bowl games that you shouldn’t watch. But that there are announcers that are fucking terrible. These two are arguably the worst ever. I would never turn off a game but I definitely did mute it at times with these two on the call. Brutal.

Hawaii Bowl – Middle Tennessee vs. San Diego State (Dec. 24, 8:00, TSN2) – I love this game. Why? Because it’s the perfect time to get all the stocking stuffers wrapped and in their stockings. This is the first time since 2019 we will see this game and it is at the converted high school in Honolulu that the Hawaii Rainbow Warriors play at. Fun times. My pick: San Diego State 26 Middle Tennessee 21.

First Responder Bowl – Memphis vs. Utah State (Dec. 27, 3:15, TSN2) – Utah State was surprisingly good this season. Memphis did about as expected. Both teams like to move FAST on offense. This one might be over by 5:30. My pick: Memphis 37 Utah State 31.

Bahamas Bowl – UAB vs. Miami-OH (Dec. 16, 11:30 AM, TSN1) – Two teams, playing in front of about 5,000 fans in usually breezy weather near the ocean. Yeah these two programs lucked out wouldn’t you say? I sure would. Better than Shreveport or Boise, at least in terms of the weather. My pick: UAB 34 Miami-OH 13.

Quick Lane Bowl – New Mexico State vs. Bowling Green (Dec. 26, 2:30, TSN3) – The Aggies are back in a bowl game! The drought was only six years this time so it’s not nearly as exciting. The bowl drought was actually longer for the Falcons, at seven years. This is NMSU’s final game as an Independent as they join Conference USA next season. I might be out, playing Free Uber for my kids as they spend their gift cards that day so we shall see how much of this I get to watch. My pick: Bowling Green 21 New Mexico State 20.

Camellia Bowl – Georgia Southern vs. Buffalo (Dec. 27, Noon, TSN2) – Both teams BARELY made it to bowl eligibility. The Eagles beat Appalachian State in double overtime and the Bulls squeaked by Akron in a rescheduled game. The only oddity here is that Georgia Southern is not a running team anymore: they pass the ball almost as much as any team in the land. Feels weird to day. My pick: Georgia Southern 37 Buffalo 28.

LendingTree Bowl – Southern Miss vs. Rice (Dec. 17, 5:45, TSN2) – Alright the worst bowl game of the bunch. A Southern Miss team that doesn’t feel like a bowl eligible team and a Rice team that lead the APR list to get here at 5-7. Ugh. There are other bowls at the same time so unless this is close, I hate to say it, you can probably avoid it. My pick: Southern Miss 35 Rice 10.

Done! All the bowl games ranked and my predictions locked in place. I am going to make another prediction: that my predictions won’t be that great. Enjoy the bowl games everybody!

So is there anyone who really wants this guy? – Week 1 NFL TV Schedule

Hey, it’s time for the professional football league south of the border to commence play!  Let us rejoice!  Well, most of us.  Not the guy in the picture above.  He is in a heap of shit and has been for months now.  Accused of sexual assault against 22 women.  Twenty-two.  Remember: if it looks like shit and smells like shit, it’s probably shit.  Yes, innocent until proven guilty, but holy moly would it be a bad look if Deshaun Watson played this season and then he is found guilty of even one of these charges.  But…that may not become an issue.

The Houston Texans will not have them as their quarterback.  Sounds like they are willing to pay him quite a bit of money to sit at home.  They would rather trade him, obviously, so that they don’t have to pay him and they don’t have to deal with him as an organization.  As much as you might think the Texans are not a well-run organization (which would be true), this is smart on their part.  And it looks like teams are interested!  Crazy.  Remember though: it’s all about winning.  In professional sports, winning cures (almost) all.  Same with college sports if you think about it.  Where could he end up?  The Dolphins seem to be the favourite which destroys the “Tua is our guy” narrative that they’ve had all offseason.  The Eagles are also fairly interested which destroys the “Jalen deserves a full shot as the number one QB” narrative that they are peddling.  It’s all ridiculous and all very NFL.

Anyway, enough of that.  Let’s get to the Week 1 schedule followed by Un-Texan Comments (not meant to be a slight against the state of Texas itself):

Thursday

Dallas at Tampa Bay

8:20, NBC, TSN1/3/4, CTV Two

Sunday Early

Pittsburgh at Buffalo	All affiliates		Saskatchewan, Northern Ontario, Kitchener, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, Atlantic		Vancouver Island, Alberta
Arizona at Tennessee
LA Chargers at Washington
NY Jets at Carolina
Jacksonville at Houston
Philadelphia at Atlanta		Buffalo, Rochester, Burlington, Boston			London, Toronto, Ottawa, Atlantic
Minnesota at Cincinnati		Minneapolis	Winnipeg	TSN3, TSN5
San Francisco at Detroit		Detroit
Seattle at Indianapolis		Tacoma, Seattle, Spokane	Vancouver, Alberta

Sunday Late

Cleveland at Kansas City	All affiliates (except Burlington & Boston)		All affiliates (except Montreal & Atlantic)
Miami at New England	Burlington, Boston		Montreal		Atlantic
Green Bay vs. New Orleans (in Jacksonville)		Tacoma, Seattle, Spokane, Minneapolis, Detroit, Boston		TSN3, TSN5
Denver at NY Giants		Buffalo, Rochester, Burlington

Sunday/Monday Primetime

Chicago at LA Rams	Sunday, 8:20, NBC, TSN 1/3/4/5, CTV Two
Baltimore at Las Vegas	Monday, 8:00, ABC, TSN 1/3/4/5, CTV Two

Un-Texan Comments…Houston Texans, I mean

• That franchise is a complete mess.  Somehow.  They had Deshaun Watson and J.J. Watt for years and couldn’t make it work.  I don’t get it.  Oh wait, I do.  Part of it rhymes with Till O’Flyin.
• The season begins, as always, with the defending champs.  I believe this is the second team the Super Bowl champ is playing their first game of the next season in the same place they won the Lombardi Trophy.  I await about nine years from now when, if I’m still doing this blog, I’m talking about Tom Brady in his fifties still playing pretty damn good at quarterback.  You kind of know that will happen, right?
• You WILL watch the Steelers-Bills game and you will FUCKING LIKE IT!  That seems to be the message from CBS and CTV/TSN, for the most part.  At least it’s a national doubleheader so there are at least a couple of good games in both Sunday afternoon timeslots.
• There are, however, four games in the early sked not showing in Canada without Sunday Ticket.  That seems like a lot for one timeslot because it is.  Ridiculous, really.
• ESPN is not doing two Monday Night Football games this season for the first time in years.  I mean I understood the idea behind them but I’m glad it’s gone.  Why?  Having a game finish at 1 in the morning that isn’t a college football game…sorry, that’s no bueno.
• Unfortunately, the people of Burlington get stuck with, I assume, a lot of New York Giants football games again this year.  I mean it’s great if you are a Giants fan or have a crush on Daniel Jones or something.  Otherwise?  Some sad people in Vermont (and a good part of Quebec and Eastern Ontario).
• As you notice, the Packers-Saints game is in Jacksonville.  Obviously this is because of Hurricane Ida but some have asked why the game wasn’t held closer to New Orleans in an area that wasn’t affected very much by the hurricane.  The only reason I could find is that to do it in an NFL stadium means all the camera setups for FOX would be the same as normal.  If they had to go to a college stadium, it might not work.  FOX also does college football so I don’t understand this logic but there may be some merit to it since I am sure they put more money and production value into the NFL games than the college ones.
• I won’t say anything about my fantasy team.  I promise.  OK I might slip something in from time to time but I don’t want to be that guy that drones on and on about it.  In the end, even other fantasy football players don’t really care unless they are in your league.  Then they may care way too much.
• I have a feeling I am correct with the CBS and FOX affiliates.  I have thought of breaking out the CTV affiliates a bit more but it’s very rare that, say, all the CTV Atlantic stations don’t have the same NFL game on at one time.  But I will watch out for it.

There you go.  All you NFL fans, we’ve made it back.  Now let’s hope any new wave of COVID-19 doesn’t cause issues like it did last year at times.  Fingers crossed.  Alright, enjoy the games everyone!

Is it time for the Return of the Mack?

No, not THAT Return of the Mack (although that is honestly one of my all-time favourite songs).

Mack Brown has already done amazing things in his second stint in Chapel Hill.  But he has one more hill to climb, at least when it comes to the ACC.  And man is it ever a huge hill.  An escarpment.  Maybe even consider it a small mountain.

Clemson is never ready to relinquish their crown, the same crown they’ve had for years now since Florida State decided it didn’t want to be good at football for a while.  Almost like they said “You know what?  We’ve won so much for over two decades.  Let’s give another team a chance.”  And now Clemson is the same way.  When will they fall from their perch?  Who the hell knows.  Dabo Swinney is not known for sharing the ACC sandbox.

OK let’s get right to the predictions followed by some sweet, smoky Carolina BBQ thoughts:

		Conference		Overall
	Atlantic	W	L	W	L
	Clemson	8	0	12	0
	Boston College	5	3	9	3
	Wake Forest	5	3	9	3
	Florida State	4	4	6	6
	NC State	3	5	6	6
	Louisville	2	6	3	9
	Syracuse	1	7	3	9
	Coastal
	North Carolina	8	0	11	1
	Miami	6	2	9	3
	Virginia Tech	6	2	8	4
	Pittsburgh	4	4	8	4
	Virginia	2	6	4	8
	Georgia Tech	1	7	3	9
	Duke	0	8	3	9

Sweet & Smoky Carolina BBQ Thoughts

• I always love watching the ongoing battle between different parts of the U.S. claiming they have the best barbecue.  Honestly, barbecue has got close to the spot where pizza occupies: very rarely is it so bad you can’t eat it.  Most barbecue is probably very good.  Unfortunately it’s not like we have very many barbecue spots up here or any sort of barbecue tradition.
• Clemson is still the best team in the conference, despite their loss of Trevor Lawrence and Travis Etienne.  D.J. Uiagalelei (I always wonder where the n sound comes in) looked great against Notre Dame last year so there shouldn’t be a huge drop-off but there will be some.  The defense will pick up the slack and be the backbone of the team that will fairly easily walk to the Atlantic Division title.
• The Coastal might not have Coastal Chaos this season.  I know, I know, hard to believe.  But UNC is pulling slightly away from the field, especially with one of the Heisman favourites, Sam Howell, at QB.  Miami is good but need a full, healthy season from D’Eriq King or there’s no chance they will push for the division crown.  Expect a bounceback season from Virginia Tech which could give Justin Fuente an extension as the fans in Blacksburg are getting a little antsy based on the past few years on the field for the Hokies.
• Florida State truly starts their climb this year.  I absolutely believe it.  This is Mike Norvell’s chance to put his stamp on the program.  If he can’t at least get this program to a bowl game this year, I think his days are numbered in Tallahassee.
• It’s going to be quite the battle…for the basement of the ACC.  I have five teams all within one game of each other at the bottom (in terms of overall record).  Georgia Tech, Duke, UVA, Louisville and Syracuse all have a claim to being the worst team in the conference.  If I had to choose, I would go with Syracuse.  I fear that time’s almost up for Dino Babers in western New York.  He had one great season but other than that the train went off the rails there and things aren’t looking a whole lot better for the near future either, forget this season.
• The bloom has also come off the rose for Scott Satterfield.  Cards fans sure turned on him quick and I can’t see him turning it around right away.  If Bobby Petrino is available, I’m sure the Louisville brass would look at him and this is not a joke.
• I predict nine bowl teams from the ACC.  And if bowls have to dip into the 5-7 pool of teams, don’t look at this conference…there won’t be any.
• Oh baby, ready for the bombshell?  OK here it is.  I have the Tar Heels beating Clemson to wrest the ACC title from the Tigers.  Yeah, there.  I said it.  OK more like I typed it.  I have this feeling hardly anyone, outside of most Tar Heel fans, think this could happen.  I believe in the Mack and believe in the Heels this year.  Now watch them lose six games and I look like a fucking idiot.

That’s it for the ACC.  Three conferences in.  Next up will be the teams with no conference to call home, the Independents.  Have a great Sunday everyone!  Remember, we are a mere 41 days away from the start of the college football season!  Soon enough we will be down to single digits.

Hey let’s talk about the draft

This year the draft snuck up on me again but for a different reason than last year.  Last year I was not quite two months unemployed and we were wondering what this dang Coronavirus was gonna do to us and how much of our summer it would ruin (spoiler alert: all of it).  This time I am a month-and-a-half into a new job and trying to make sure other responsibilities are taken care of.  Even though I am still worried about our softball team taking the field sooner rather than later, everything else feels different…but similar.  Anyway, enough of this, let’s get to the final mock draft shall we?

FIRST ROUND

1		Trevor Lawrence, QB (Clemson)
2		Zach Wilson, QB (BYU)
3		Mac Jones, QB (Alabama)
4		Trey Lance, QB (North Dakota State)
5		Penei Sewell, OT (Oregon)
6		Kyle Pitts, TE (Florida)
7		Ja’Marr Chase, WR (LSU)
8		Jaycee Horn, CB (South Carolina)
9		Justin Fields, QB (Ohio State)
10		Rashawn Slater, OT (Northwestern)
11		DeVonta Smith, WR (Alabama)
12		Jaylen Waddle, WR (Alabama)
13		Alijah Vera-Tucker, OT (USC)
14		Caleb Farley, CB (Virginia Tech)
15		Micah Parsons, LB (Penn State)
16		Patrick Surtain II, CB (Alabama)
17		Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah, LB (Notre Dame)
18		Christian Darrisaw, OT (Virginia Tech)
19		Alex Leatherwood, OT (Alabama)
20		Teven Jenkins, OT (Oklahoma State)
21		Zaven Collins, LB (Tulsa)
22		Jaelan Phillips, DE (Miami)
23		Tyson Campbell, CB (Georgia)
24		Sam Cosmi, OT (Texas)
25		Daviyon Nixon, DT (Iowa)
26		Christian Barmore, DT (Alabama)
27		Jaysen Oweh, DE (Penn State)
28		Aaron Robinson, CB (UCF)
29		Jackson Carman, G (Clemson)
30		Gregory Rousseau, DE (Miami)
31		Kadarius Toney, WR (Florida)
32		Azeez Ojulari, LB (Georgia)

Let’s take a serious look at this

• Yes, only one round.  Why?  Well the biggest reason is I didn’t feel like doing more.  What’s the point?  Plus if I get even half these picks correct, I have to be considered some kind of Nostradamus.
• The Dolphins, Jags and Jets set themselves up well with two picks in the first round.  Now the Ravens joined them as they traded Orlando Brown to the Chiefs.  You gotta wonder if one of these teams will package two picks to move up in the draft.  I mean obviously not the Jets or Jags but maybe the other two teams.
• Back to a live draft.  In Cleveland.  I kind of hope it’s like 6 degrees just to see what Goodell does.
• Yes I have Mac Jones at 3.  Do I think that’s where he will go?  Yes.  Do I think that’s where he should go?  No.  He’s not a top 10 talent in my eyes and I think the Niners traded up and are doing a bit of a quiet version of the Mitchell Trubisky deal that the Bears did about half a decade ago.
• Trey Lance is another one that I am iffy about.  Honestly, it would not surprise me at all if the Falcons decided to trade down.  I am sure they are getting a lot of offers and Lance is another guy who I wouldn’t pick in the Top 10.  I would have picked Justin Fields at this spot but he has dropped down in the draft because…actually I don’t know.  I am sure it’s dumb.
• Speaking of Fields, I think he drops to the Broncos who are fucking ecstatic to get him at that spot.  I see him being a poor man’s version of Aaron Rodgers in terms of making certain teams pay for not taking him earlier.
• The Bengals will be smart to not listen to Joe Burrow.  He so desperately wants Ja’Marr Chase but he will have a tough time throwing to him with their toilet-paper-thin O-line.  Sewell is the right pick here.
• The Dolphins will basically have their choice of whoever the hell they want at #6.  I think it will be Pitts but I wouldn’t be surprised to see them pick on of those three receivers either.
• I have Chase, Smith and Waddle going to the Lions, Giants and Eagles, respectively.  This is where I could see a team back in the draft trade up to get one of these guys.  I could see the Ravens doing something to move up, along with the Washington Team du Football and the Colts.
• As for other teams maybe moving up, I haven’t heard much other than almost every team trading with the Falcons to get to #4.  Other than the WTF going there to get a QB, I can’t see a team making a great trade to move up.
• The Bengals and Dolphins would be stupid to trade down, in my honest opinion, since both teams should get what they want and/or need at the #5 and #6 spot, respectively.  And since they aren’t the Houston Texans, they probably won’t trade down.

OK that’s about all.  Now we wait for tomorrow night.

As per usual, I should have some sort of draft recap post in the next week or two.  After that, soon enough it will be the most important games of the season as I finish up trying to figure out the schedule for the 2021 season.  If everything goes well (at least down in the U.S.) the season will begin in 122 days with Week Zero.  Keep our fingers crossed.

As for this province, I don’t know what to say.  Talk about a shitshow.  Nothing is going right.  All we can hope is that they get everyone their first vaccines as quick as possible so we can move into the second phase (for most).  Unfortunately, I can see some of our summer being taken from us (somewhat) again.  Sad but probably a reality.

Everyone, have a fun time watching the draft and a great end to the week.

So close, Mack. So close. – Week 5 College Football Recap

There are some that don’t understand the reasoning behind Mack Brown’s call near the end of the game.  I do, though.  Mack Brown is trying to build the North Carolina program back up.  Winning this game would have been huge for the team.  Was the playcall the best one?  Not really but that’s not the point here.  Chances are if they did go to overtime, it definitely favours Clemson.  Not saying the Heels couldn’t have pulled it out in OT but I like them going for it.  Take the risk.  Too many coaches play it safe and it’s more to save their own hides rather than make a statement.  I get that too but I wish more coaches would have a spine and take more risks…not a ton more, just a few more.

Other than that, was it a awesome weekend?  No.  No it was not.  In college football parlance, it was rather mundane to be honest.  Let’s get to the recap.

It looked like some crazy football could happen with what went on Friday night.  California was hosting Arizona State as the only undefeated team left in the Pac-12.  But remember…you play…to win…the game.  And that’s what the Sun Devils did.  A close game but they were able to hold off Cal and, for now, put the Pac-12 on the outside looking in for the College Football Playoff.  The conference has to hope for some chaos elsewhere to get back in the race.

Notre Dame put on show against Virginia.  The Irish never looked like they were in trouble in this one.  They still have a few difficult games left (USC, Michigan, Duke) but they don’t have a seriously difficult one left this year.  If they win out, they could be an outside choice for the College Football Playoff depending on what else happens.  That should piss the anti-Notre Dame folks off but they would be firmly in the Top 10 all season.  As for UVA, this isn’t a bad loss for them as they still have to be considered the favourite in the ACC Coastal division.

Hey guess what?  Maryland cancelled classes so that students could fill the stadium for their huge game against Penn State.  They should have just let the kids have a long weekend.  Penn State put a colossal beatdown on the Terps, winning 59-0.  The Terps couldn’t do anything right and the Nittany Lions, consequently, looked like everything they did was near-perfect.  I mean I get that PSU is an outside contender for the New Year’s Six but it shouldn’t have been this much of a lopsided game.  The Terrapins had no life it seemed.  And now they look like they will struggle to get to a bowl game after all the early season hype.  Mike Locksley has quite the job ahead of him.

Another game that many thought would be closer went down on The Plains (see a pattern here?).  The Bulldogs were boatraced by what seems like a seriously good Auburn team.  And yes Bo Nix looks like the real deal.  Not amazing but the kind of QB that can do enough to propel a team to victory.  Hell, even Bully, the Bulldogs’ mascot, was hit by an Auburn player after being pushed out of bounds.  So yeah, MSU was beaten on all fronts on Saturday.

Minnesota is quietly undefeated.  They don’t have a true Heisman contender.  They barely beat all the teams in their non-conference schedule.  So them holding on to beat Purdue to start their conference was a slight surprise but not enough to even put them in the Top 25.  But the way things are going, don’t be surprised if they are 8-0 when they host Penn State in early November.  P.J. Fleck doing some work in the Twin Cities rowing that damn boat.

I think Virginia Tech is going to be in tough to keep their bowl game streak alive which is at 26 seasons right now.  They were knocked around by Duke and have looked terrible in Bud Foster’s final season as defensive coordinator.  And I get they are in the ACC but their schedule isn’t exactly easy and now they have to win four of their final eight to go bowling.  Part of me wants them not to make it so other teams get an opportunity, I’m not gonna lie.

Bama has absolutely crushed pretty much all their opponents this season.  They just destroyed the Ole Miss recently.  That matters little at this point.  What will be more important is what they do when the tougher games begin.  That starts in two weeks when they travel to College Station to play Texas A&M.  And now that they are #1 in the AP Poll (and rightfully so), they become a bigger target and all it takes is one loss to get many of the media pundits talking about Bama’s demise and shit like that.  Let’s start with them not making the CFP for once and then MAYBE we can discuss it.  Until that point, there’s no point.  Saban is Saban and always has the horses to be in the Top 4.

Ohio State laid a beating on Nebraska.  I, along with many others, fell for the preseason Husker hype.  As for Ohio State, this team is really good and could make a case for being #1 at this point.  They still have a very tough schedule left but it wouldn’t be a total surprise if they did run the table.  Ryan Day is looking like the right choice in Columbus.  Back to Nebraska, that was the worst loss by a team who hosted College Gameday ever.  That’s pretty sad.  Saying that, I had them not doing that great early on and then winning almost all of their conference games after the Ohio State game.  I mean it could still happen but they are not inspiring hope that is for sure.

Wake Forest is sneaking up on everyone in the ACC.  They were the first 5-0 team in FBS after beating Boston College.  Honestly, there is a possibility that the Deacs could be 9-0 when they head to Clemson to face the defending champs.  Again, not a team of stars but very few holes and Dave Clawson is one of the better coaches in America right now.  I would love to see them get some New Year’s Six chatter and soon enough they will if they keep winning.

UCF annihilated UConn but has given up their spot as the New Year’s Six favourite from the Group of Five conferences.  That honour goes to Boise State.  For now.

Michigan might actually be good.  Who knows?  But it was just Rutgers they beat so that is not a barometer of anything.  It’s Rutgers after all.  It also was the end of the Chris Ash era in Piscataway as he was finally shitcanned, probably more than a year after he should have been fired in the first place.

The other ranked-on-ranked game was Washington hosting USC and it was the bad Trojans that showed up as the Huskies looked like they were never in trouble all game.  More are calling for Clay Helton’s dismissal.  Keyshawn Johnson talked about Tarmac in an Instagram post, referencing Lane Kiffin’s firing on an airport tarmac.  So yeah, things not going well in southern California.

Alright enough recappin’.  Time for another Bossman Top 25.  I am sure you might bristle at some of my rankings.  I will explain below:

#1	Alabama
#2	Clemson
#3	Georgia
#4	Ohio State
#5	Auburn
#6	LSU
#7	Notre Dame
#8	Wisconsin
#9	Oklahoma
#10	Florida
#11	Penn State
#12	Texas
#13	Washington
#14	Iowa
#15	Oregon
#16	Michigan
#17	Utah
#18	Boise State
#19	UCF
#20	Virginia
#21	Oklahoma State
#22	Texas A&M
#23	Arizona State
#24	Michigan State
#25	Wake Forest

Yep, I put Alabama at #1.  Yeah I know I had them farther down last week but things change.  And honestly they are looking better than Clemson at this point of the season.  I could also say the same thing about Georgia and Ohio State but I am not ready to pull the trigger on those yet.  And also remember that this is on September 30th, not what I think it will be at the end of the year.  Plus you have Auburn and LSU right there close to the top and at some point they may all become interchangeable and no one’s opinion would be truly wrong.  There’s still plenty of games to separate all these teams and, as per usual, I hope for chaos because chaos in college football is fun.

See you back on Thursday for the college football TV schedule.  Until then, enjoy your week everyone!

OK…so what do the Steelers do now? – Week 3 NFL TV Schedule

So if you haven’t heard, Ben Roethlisberger might or might not need surgery on his elbow but he is for sure out for the season.  This means Mason Rudolph is now the starting quarterback.  So what do the Steelers do?  Trade for Minkah Fitzpatrick.  I honestly don’t get it.  Either they are dumb in Steeltown or they feel this trade will help (which also makes them dumb).  They need a QB and they go get help for their secondary.  If Mike Tomlin didn’t chime in with this trade, then Tomlin knows that management are hanging him out to dry.  Either that or Mason Rudolph is going to be a huge success and the next Patrick Mahomes.  Or more like the next Tom Brady since that would make Roethlisberger an older, more broken down version of Drew Bledsoe.  Either way.

Now here we go with the NFL schedule for this week that definitely includes the Roethlisberger-less Steelers.  Say that five times fast.

Sunday Early

Baltimore at Kansas City	Seattle, Spokane, Minneapolis, Detroit, Cleveland		BC, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Ottawa		London, Toronto
NY Jets at New England	Burlington, Boston		Montreal, Atlantic		Atlantic
Atlanta at Indianapolis
Cincinnati at Buffalo	Buffalo, Rochester		Kitchener, Toronto
Miami at Dallas
Detroit at Philadelphia		Detroit		TSN1, TSN3, TSN4	Ottawa
Denver at Green Bay		Tacoma, Seattle, Spokane	Northern Ontario		Vancouver Island, Alberta
Oakland at Minnesota		Minneapolis	Winnipeg

Sunday Late

New Orleans at Seattle	All affiliates (except Cleveland & Rochester)		All affiliates (except Atlantic)		Atlantic
Pittsburgh at San Francisco	Cleveland, Rochester
Houston at LA Chargers
NY Giants at Tampa Bay		Buffalo, Rochester, Burlington, Boston		TSN1, TSN3, TSN4
Carolina at Arizona

Sunday/Monday Primetime

LA Rams at Cleveland	Sunday, 8:30, NBC, TSN 1/4/5, CTV Two
Chicago at Washington	Monday, 8:30, TSN 1/3/5

Roethlisberger (with cheese and bacon, hold the tomato)-less Schedule notes and crap

• Four games not being shown in Canada unless you have DAZN.  The only one that looks like it will be good is Texans-Chargers.
• I find it interesting that so far this year there have been quite a few late afternoon games.  Maybe I am not remember things correctly (I mean I have a great memory, it’s just really short) but I always felt there was only three, maybe four, games tops in the late afternoon slot and a ton of games on early (leaving Week 17 out).  This week has five late afternoon games.  I like the fact it’s spread out a bit…as much as they can when all the games are in a six-and-a-half hour window.
• If you had told me a few years back that the Rams and Browns would be on Sunday Night Football I would wonder what concoction of drugs you had just ingested.  But this should be fun and it’s nice to see the Browns being considered, at the very least, an average team rather than the bumbling franchise we all knew and loved (except for Browns fans).
• Hey did you watch 80s pornstar Gardner Minshew last night?  This guy might be the future of quarterbacking in Jacksonville.  He kind of fits that franchise.  And he may just be the guy to get the Jags into the playoff hunt this year considering the state of the AFC South.
• How the hell did the Giants and Bucs get so much play up here?  I can’t see that being a great game to watch between two franchises who are seriously struggling at this point.
• No Big Ben means a lot less people get to see the Steelers face the Niners.  I think more affiliates would have got that game with the Big Ben-Jimmy G quarterback duel.  Now?  Nah.  Except for those poor people who get CBS out of Cleveland or Rochester.

Now that I have ways to watch every game I feel a whole lot better.  Never thought it would make a difference but it does.  Being able to go watch a game that’s going to overtime that almost no one is getting to see is just fantastic since I remember what it was like when Curt Menefee had to tell all of us that due to NFL broadcasting rules they couldn’t show us the overtime of whatever game that was going to OT.  I hated that.

Anyway, I should be on the Twitter machine this weekend (@LikeABauce1978).  I know, you’re not excited.  Whether I go on both Saturday and Sunday is to be determined but I have a feeling that will not be the case.  Either way, enjoy your weekend and enjoy the games!

Time for my Heisman ballot…

OK I get it.  I’m awful at this.  However, I did have Baker Mayfield as the runner-up last season so at least I was close.  That’s gotta count for something, right?  No?  Fine, fuck you all.  Here’s my Heisman ballot for this season:

My (Probably) Absolutely Disgusting Heisman Ballot

1. Bryce Love, Stanford – Love is pretty much the odds-on favourite coming into the 2018 season to win the Heisman.  This means two things: 1) he probably won’t end up winning it because Stanford isn’t as good or he gets injured and 2) a few people out there will be adamant about Love not being anywhere close to the Heisman favourite.  You know, to be different.  Also makes those people look like stubborn assholes who probably just want attention.
2. Jonathan Taylor…….Thomas (ahahaha), Wisconsin – A little Home Improvement humour right there.  Anyway, the other hyped running back coming into this season is shockingly (and by shockingly I mean not shocking at all) from Wisconsin, a school that churns out top-tier running backs like they just put them in the photocopier and PRESTO!  Out one comes!  Anyway, expect him to get a boatload of yards, especially against lesser competition as Wisconsin is, again, the favourite in the Big Ten West.
3. Trace McSorley, Penn State – Yes I know.  Saquon Barkley is gone to the NFL.  But that means this is Trace’s time to shine now.  He is the man of the Penn State offense.  Most everything will go through him.  If Penn State is successful this season (and I think they will be), McSorley will be a big part of it and remember, Heisman voters love players on really good teams.
4. Will Grier, West Virginia – Of all the PEW! PEW! PEW!ing going on in the Big XII this season, Mr. Grier here will be doing the most of it.  Interesting how he was given a one-year suspension for PEDs, and then Florida let him transfer and now the Gators are desperate to find a good QB.  The Mountaineers’ Big XII hopes lie on Grier and that is why he will get a lot of consideration.
5. Tua Tagovailoa, Alabama – This will be an interesting season for the Tide and maybe in ways they don’t want.  An actual quarterback competition in Tuscaloosa!  It appears that Tua will have the inside track here and if he starts all the games this season he is almost a shoo-in to be in the Heisman competition.  But Tagovailoa starting means they may end up losing Jalen Hurts who may want to transfer instead and who would blame him?  And if Tagovailoa goes down to injury early on or plays poorly does this mean Hurts is in the Heisman hunt?
6. Jake Fromm, Georgia – I debated who to put here because D’Andre Swift could easily go here as well.  To be honest, both could enter the race at some point this season.  I think Fromm is the safer bet here and if Georgia repeats what they did last year (with one obvious exception) then Fromm will rocket up the rankings for sure.
7. Khalil Tate, Arizona – Can’t say East Coast bias to me.  First, I have Bryce Love at #1.  And second, I stay up and watch Pac-12 After Dark so I see as much college football as I can from around the country.  I think defenses will be a bit more prepared for Tate this season.  He will still be the main reason Arizona contends for their first-ever Rose Bowl berth this season and that alone puts him on this list.
8. Justin Herbert, Oregon – The sixth quarterback on this list and it’s a guy from Chip Kelly’s old stomping ground.  Oregon is a much better team with Herbert in the lineup than without so the hope is that he is injury-free all season.  He would have to come up with an all-timer of a season though to look like a better Heisman candidate than Love or Tate.
9. Jarrett Stidham, Auburn – Will Stidham be the second coming of Cam Newton?  No.  Will he throw the ball all over the field and have Auburn somewhat abandon their run offense?  Perhaps.  To be honest, if Auburn plays second fiddle to Bama (and I believe they will) then Stidham will get very few looks unless he’s tossing for 350 a game.
10. Ed Oliver, Houston – I really wanted Eddie to be higher on this list.  I did.  But the chances of a defensive player winning the Heisman these days is almost nil.  He would have to have a ridiculously good season, Houston would have to be the Group of Five representative in the New Year’s Six and a few of the guys above him would have to have down seasons for him to be in the conversation.  Sad, but true.

Honourable Mention

• J.K. Dobbins, Ohio State
• Kelly Bryant/Trevor Lawrence, Clemson (whoever ends up getting the starting QB job)
• Dwayne Haskins, Ohio State
• Jake Browning, Washington
• Drew Lock, Missouri
• McKenzie Milton, UCF
• Cam Akers, Florida State
• Nick Fitzgerald, Mississippi State
• D’Andre Swift, Georgia

There’s the list!  Now I have to hope that at least one of these names wins.  I said I would retire the post last year if that happened and lucky for me, my #2 pick Baker Mayfield won it.  Same promise this time around.

Now let’s see…what’s up next.  Oh that’s right…MOTHERFUCKING COLLEGE FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It is about damn time.  And yes, it isn’t exactly great college football but it’s college football nonetheless.  It’s the kind of games I would watch but not pay a ton of attention to unless it was the only game on or if it was close.  Instead, I will stay glued to it the entire time.  I am that depraved.

Alright so I have talked to one Bell customer service rep.  I know, after last year’s debacle, that the chances of the ESPN games showing up this Saturday are almost zero.  But I have to make sure right.  So I talked with this person and they said the games started on Sunday.  Sunday.  Yeah.  I asked them twice if that was the correct day because they are being played live on Saturday.  He assured me it was Sunday.  So there you have it.  No one knows.  So my best guess is that if you get CBS Sports Network you will see Hawaii-Colorado State.  The two ESPN games (North Carolina A&T vs. Jacksonville State at 7 and Wyoming at New Mexico State at 10) will probably not be shown in this area but stranger things have happened.  If I find out any more updates I will let you all know.

UPDATE: Good news!  After a few readers have mentioned that they are seeing the ESPN network games on their guides tonight, my cable box finally woke the hell up and now they are appearing as well.  WOOHOO!!!

Next up will probably be an NFL preview of sorts since I do that every year despite the fact I am rarely right with those predictions.  Everyone have a great week!

NFL Draft Recap of Fun and Excitement (for most)

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

*deep breath*

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Man the Philly faithful did not like Roger Goodell.  Well, to be honest, no one really likes Roger Goodell.  I think even the owners basically tolerate at him at this point and once he stops making them gobs of money he will be tossed aside like yesterday’s trash.  I did smile the first few times they booed him.  Funny.  Bettman-esque even.  Then it just got kind of annoying and sad.  We get it, you don’t like him.

Before we get into my team ratings, let’s go over a few things first:

• I am not a Dallas Cowboys fan by any stretch of the imagination but good lord Drew Pearson trolled the shit out of the Eagles fans and it was glorious!  The best pick selection of the draft by far.
• I don’t know what Takkarist McKinley was drinking back in the draft waiting room but man he was on fire when he was selected by the Falcons.  First, he comes out with this HUGE picture of his grandmother.  Like something you put over a fireplace.  It was about the size of the Queen Elizabeth portrait at the old Winnipeg Arena.  Then he gets interviewed afterwards and just goes nuts.  And swore.  And dared the NFL to fine him.  It was great.  I hope he gets Defensive Rookie of the Year just for that performance alone.
• Day 3 was shit.  Except for Mike Mayock’s absolute hatred of the picks coming out of the Indianapolis Zoo.  I agree it was kind of dumb but it’s a tough thing the NFL has to do with rounds four through seven.  The first three rounds it’s actually still exciting as you wonder who goes where, who trades up, who makes a dumb pick, etc.  But the last four rounds go so fast at times that some guys get drafted and you never hear their name.  So there has to be some entertainment value along with the analysis.  Saying that, some ideas are dumb and some are just boring.  Not a whole lot you can do really.
• Charles Davis’ knowledge of wrestling was surprising and amazing all at the same time.  I’m surprised he didn’t do the Ric Flair WOOOOOOOOOOO! if a team made a great choice.

OK enough of that.  Let’s get on with the picks!  I will be honest and say I did not watch one minute of the ESPN coverage of the first round.  According to Twitter I was in the extreme minority.  I do have a question for all of those people though: If you don’t like the ESPN broadcast of the event, why watch it when there’s an alternative?  I think the NFL Network did a good job.  I do, for the most part, enjoy Mike Mayock, Daniel Jeremiah, and (later on) Charles Davis doing analysis on all the draft picks.  And Rich Eisen is as good a host as there is when it comes to the NFL nowadays.  In honour of the good job they did, I will be doing this on the MAYOCK SCALE.  So let’s get down it OK?

6 Mike Mayocks (Pretty damn fantastic!)

Arizona (First pick: Haason Reddick, Other Notable Picks: Budda Baker, Chad Williams, Dorian Johnson) – I am going to disagree with pretty much everyone and say that the Arizona Cardinals and not the San Francisco 49ers won this draft (although it was close).  Reddick was a great pick but it was their next three picks that set them apart.  Baker could end up being one of the biggest steals of the draft in the second round.  All in all, no bad picks equals good times in the desert.

San Francisco (First pick: Solomon Thomas, Other Notable Picks: Reuben Foster, George Kittle, D.J. Jones) – The trade early on with the Bears was the coup of the draft.  John Lynch has had a great start as GM with that one move.  And picking Solomon Thomas was awesome.  Saying that, they had a couple garbage picks and I can’t let a team who even had one bad pick as the winner of the draft.  Lucky for them, everyone will only remember the Trubisky trade.

Baltimore (First pick: Marlon Humphrey, Other Notable Picks: Chris Wormley, Tim Williams, Nico Siragusa, Jermaine Eluemunor) – Arguably the most consistently good draft from beginning to end.  Siragusa was a fantastic pick and almost every other pick was good and fit what they needed.

Cleveland (First pick: Myles Garrett, Other Notable Picks: Jabrill Peppers, Roderick Johnson, Caleb Brantley, Matt Dayes) – A good draft.  Or in Cleveland terms, the Draft of the Century!  Garrett was the obvious number one choice.  People are polarizing on Peppers but I think he was a decent pick.  Johnson and Dayes late are great gets for a team not known for its drafting prowess.

Tampa Bay (First pick: O.J. Howard, Other Notable Picks: Justin Evans, Chris Godwin, Jeremy McNichols) – The Bucs drafted three weapons for Famous Jameis.  That alone puts them in the top tier.

5 Mike Mayocks (That’s some good pickin!)

The NEW Los Angeles Chargers (First pick: Mike Williams, Other Notable Picks: Dan Feeney, Desmond King) – Amazingly enough, Williams may have been one of the worst picks of the bunch just for the fact they reached a bit for him.  Other than that a solid draft for a team that will be playing in a 30,000 seat stadium.

Buffalo (First pick: Tre’Davious White, Other Notable Picks: Zay Jones, Nathan Peterman) – So let me get this straight: the Bills fire most of their front office staff THE DAY AFTER THE DRAFT ENDS?  I get that new head coach Sean McDermott probably did the entire draft but still, this is a bad look for a team that hasn’t made the playoffs this century.

Tennessee (First pick: Corey Davis, Other Notable Picks: Adoree Jackson, Taywan Taylor, Jayon Brown) – So……….the real question should be what position won’t Adoree Jackson play.

Washington (First pick: Jonathan Allen, Other Notable Picks: Samaje Perine, Josh Harvey-Clemsons) – Allen is a great pickup for the Skins.  You have to wonder why he even made it to the Skins since a couple months ago he was considered a top 5 pick.  Perine was overshadowed by the Joe Mixon saga and may end up working out very well in DC.

Minnesota (First pick: Dalvin Cook, Other Notable Picks: Pat Elflein, Stacy Coley) – No, Cook won’t erase the memory of Adrian Peterson (in his glory days).  But at least the Vikings have shored up their pathetic running game with that pick.  Elflein helps in that regard as well.

4 Mike Mayocks (Give your scouts a bonus…but only a small one)

Indianapolis (First pick: Malik Hooker, Other Notable Picks: Quincy Wilson, Marlon Mack) – Hooker was easily their best pick of the draft.  Mayock himself would have pushed the Colts further down the list for their Day 3 Indianapolis Zoo shenanigans.

Philadelphia (First pick: Derek Barnett, Other Notable Picks: Mack Hollins, Donnel Pumphrey, Elijah Qualls) – The hosts did well.  They booed.  A lot.  And they cheered at most of the appropriate times.  And Santa Claus and Michael Irvin weren’t there to incite them into a fury.  Plus their first pick was a good one.  Also, they got Darren Sproles 2.0 in Pumphrey (who is NOT the NCAA rushing yards career leader no matter what the NCAA says).

Miami (First pick: Charles Harris, Other Notable Picks: Isaac Asiata, Davon Godchaux, Vincent Taylor, Isaiah Ford) – A lot of good picks.  No great picks although getting Asiata, Godchaux, and Ford where the Fins got them makes their draft class look a lot better.

Denver (First pick: Garett Bolles (and Garett Bolles’ kid), Other Notable Picks: Carlos Henderson, Jake Butt, Chad Kelly) – If it wasn’t for Takkarist McKinley going off the rails, Bolles and his son would be the highlight of the first round.  A decent pick as well.  Jake Butt is a risk considering his bowl game injury but could turn out to be an amazing pick.  I honestly think Chad Kelly will go into camp with a big chip on his shoulder.  It’s not Trevor Siemian or Paxton Lynch are for-sure starters so Kelly may sneak in as the backup.  Mr. Irrelevant indeed.

Dallas (First pick: Taco Charlton, Other Notable Pick: Chidobe Awuzie, Xavier Woods, Marquez White) – Drew Pearson was the clear highlight for the Cowboys.  Too bad, because the guy he announced, Awuzie, was a great pick at that time of the draft.  Other than that, a whole lot of average picks.

3 Mike Mayocks (OK now things are starting to turn for the worse)

New Orleans (First pick: Marshon Lattimore, Other Notable Pick: Alex Anzalone) – Fantastic pickup of Lattimore.  After that it really was mediocre at best with Anzalone the only decent pick afterwards.  Al-Quadin Muhammad was a pick they didn’t need to make considering his off-the-field issues.

Jacksonville (First pick: Leonard Fournette, Other Notable Picks: Dede Westbrook, Blair Brown, Jalen Myrick) – There are very polarizing views of the Jags picking Fournette.  One thing is for sure, though; they intend to contend for a playoff spot this year and they are planning much of their offense around Fournette.  Westbrook was a good pick for where he was and Brown and Myrick were decent picks as well.  Other than that, a whole lot of meh.

Green Bay (First pick: Kevin King, Other Notable Pick: Jamaal Williams) – If it wasn’t for the two picks mentioned, Green Bay would have been almost last in the rankings.  King was a superb pick considering the depth of secondary players in this draft.  Williams will be a starter very soon (perhaps Week 1) for the Packers.  The rest of their picks were pretty much shit with some pretty bad late-round drafting.

Pittsburgh (First pick: T.J. Watt, Other Notable Picks: Bryan Allen, JuJu Smith-Schuster) – I liked the Steelers’ pick of Watt.  More than many it seems.  Also liked the Smith-Schuster pick.  Yes they missed on many of their draft picks otherwise but those two, for sure, were top-rate picks.

Cincinnati (First pick: John Ross, Other Notable Picks: Joe Mixon, Jordan Willis) – I honestly don’t know what I think about the Mixon pick.  On one hand, if the Bengals hadn’t taken them, I am sure there were at least 4 or 5 other teams that would have shortly thereafter.  On the other hand this is a huge risk on Cincinnati’s part.  If this doesn’t work, there could be major changes just around the corner in southern Ohio.

2 Mike Mayocks (Yeah this isn’t good now)

New England (First pick: Derek Rivers, Other Notable Pick: Antonio Garcia) – One of these four draft picks they had will be a Pro Bowler.  Guaranteed.

NY Giants (First pick: Evan Engram, Other Notable Picks: Dalvin Tomlinson, Davis Webb) – The Giants reached for Engram.  They made have unearthed a bit of a diamond in the rough (as much as you can do that on the first two nights of the draft these days) in Davis Webb.  Kid can chuck the ball all over the field and would be a good replacement for Eli at some point (as long as OBJ is still with the team).

Houston (First pick: Deshaun Watson, Other Notable Pick: Zach Cunningham) – If they hadn’t traded that much to get Watson, I would have said it was a solid pick.  He will be the day one starter and will be counted on to get the Texans back to the playoffs again.  Talk about pressure.  Cunningham was the only good pick Houston had.

Atlanta (First pick: Takkarist McKinley, Other Notable Pick: Damontae Kazee) – Takk McKinley was awesome on draft night.  A bit of a reach on the Falcons’ part if you ask me but still, you can’t deny his passion.  Other than him and Kazee the Falcons flopped big in the draft.  Not as bad as their Super Bowl loss.  Too soon?  Yeah, probably too soon.

Detroit (First pick: Jarrad Davis, Other Notable Picks: Jeremiah Ledbetter) – The Lions missed slightly with their first pick.  Then again with their second pick (I think I had Teez Tabor too high in my mock drafts).  I say Ledbetter is a good pick but that may be stretching it.  No super bad picks and that’s the only thing keeping them out of lower territory.

1 Mike Mayock (Good lord)

Carolina (First pick: Christian McCaffrey, Other Notable Pick: Daeshon Hall) – I think McCaffrey was not a good choice at that spot.  He could prove me wrong but it feels like he picked with his almost-Heisman season two seasons ago.  If it wasn’t for the Daeshon Hall pick, the Panthers would have been close to the bottom of the rankings.

Seattle (First pick: Malik McDowell, Other Notable Picks: None) – McDowell was a great pick.  After that there is nothing notable.  Kind of sad considering they drafted like 100 guys (OK it was 11 but it felt like a lot more).

NY Jets (First pick: Jamal Adams, Other Notable Pick: Chad Hansen) – Adams was an OK pick.  Hansen was a fantastic pick (where they got him).  A lot of sub-average picks otherwise.  Pretty much forgetable.

Kansas City (First pick: Patrick Mahomes, Other Notable Picks: None) – Mahomes is a good quarterback.  What they traded to get him might not have been worth it but they needed someone.  The rest were fairly average picks.  Except for Ukeme Eligwe.  He was kicked off the Florida State team.  I would be shocked if he ever makes the Chiefs roster.  Feels like a wasted pick.

Oakland (First pick: Gareon Conley, Other Notable Picks: None) – Conley is a risky pick.  Then again it is the Las Vegas, uh, I mean, Oakland Raiders.  And what was that about making the picks from Vegas?  I fully agree with Rich Eisen, that was just another slap in the face to the fans out in Oakland.

Los Angeles Rams (First pick: Gerald Everett, Other Notable Picks: None) – If it wasn’t for the worst team in these rankings, I would have ranked this team at the bottom.  That was from the Redundancy Department of Redundancy.  Anyway…yeah the Rams and their young GM pissed away the draft.  Damn millennials.

Negative 50,000 Mike Mayocks (What in the fuck?)

Chicago (First pick: Mitchell Trubisky, Other Notable Picks: None) – Arguably the worst trade for a top 5 pick in NFL History (OK second worst after Hinton-for-Elway).  Poor Mitchell Trubisky.  The kid has to be basically a Hall of Famer or otherwise the fans and the media will shit all over the Bears for this draft and rightfully so.  It was awful.  Like seriously fucking awful.  It was a fun trainwreck to watch though.

Alright, done the draft recap.  A longer-than-usual post from yours truly but I needed to be at least somewhat thorough with some parts of the draft.  Plus it’s not like I am posting much these days.  God I miss football.

It’s almost June which means some semblance of football returns (the CFL).  It also means I can start gathering college football preview magazines soon with the mecca of magazines, the Phil Steele College Football Preview, the one that you should get if you are a huge college football fan (like myself).  Soon enough I will be putting together the most important games of the year posts along with the preliminary network previews which will be somewhat difficult with the Big Ten’s partial move to FOX (and more importantly for us Canadians, FOX Sports One).