BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
*deep breath*
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Man the Philly faithful did not like Roger Goodell. Well, to be honest, no one really likes Roger Goodell. I think even the owners basically tolerate at him at this point and once he stops making them gobs of money he will be tossed aside like yesterday’s trash. I did smile the first few times they booed him. Funny. Bettman-esque even. Then it just got kind of annoying and sad. We get it, you don’t like him.
Before we get into my team ratings, let’s go over a few things first:
- I am not a Dallas Cowboys fan by any stretch of the imagination but good lord Drew Pearson trolled the shit out of the Eagles fans and it was glorious! The best pick selection of the draft by far.
- I don’t know what Takkarist McKinley was drinking back in the draft waiting room but man he was on fire when he was selected by the Falcons. First, he comes out with this HUGE picture of his grandmother. Like something you put over a fireplace. It was about the size of the Queen Elizabeth portrait at the old Winnipeg Arena. Then he gets interviewed afterwards and just goes nuts. And swore. And dared the NFL to fine him. It was great. I hope he gets Defensive Rookie of the Year just for that performance alone.
- Day 3 was shit. Except for Mike Mayock’s absolute hatred of the picks coming out of the Indianapolis Zoo. I agree it was kind of dumb but it’s a tough thing the NFL has to do with rounds four through seven. The first three rounds it’s actually still exciting as you wonder who goes where, who trades up, who makes a dumb pick, etc. But the last four rounds go so fast at times that some guys get drafted and you never hear their name. So there has to be some entertainment value along with the analysis. Saying that, some ideas are dumb and some are just boring. Not a whole lot you can do really.
- Charles Davis’ knowledge of wrestling was surprising and amazing all at the same time. I’m surprised he didn’t do the Ric Flair WOOOOOOOOOOO! if a team made a great choice.
OK enough of that. Let’s get on with the picks! I will be honest and say I did not watch one minute of the ESPN coverage of the first round. According to Twitter I was in the extreme minority. I do have a question for all of those people though: If you don’t like the ESPN broadcast of the event, why watch it when there’s an alternative? I think the NFL Network did a good job. I do, for the most part, enjoy Mike Mayock, Daniel Jeremiah, and (later on) Charles Davis doing analysis on all the draft picks. And Rich Eisen is as good a host as there is when it comes to the NFL nowadays. In honour of the good job they did, I will be doing this on the MAYOCK SCALE. So let’s get down it OK?
6 Mike Mayocks (Pretty damn fantastic!)
Arizona (First pick: Haason Reddick, Other Notable Picks: Budda Baker, Chad Williams, Dorian Johnson) – I am going to disagree with pretty much everyone and say that the Arizona Cardinals and not the San Francisco 49ers won this draft (although it was close). Reddick was a great pick but it was their next three picks that set them apart. Baker could end up being one of the biggest steals of the draft in the second round. All in all, no bad picks equals good times in the desert.
San Francisco (First pick: Solomon Thomas, Other Notable Picks: Reuben Foster, George Kittle, D.J. Jones) – The trade early on with the Bears was the coup of the draft. John Lynch has had a great start as GM with that one move. And picking Solomon Thomas was awesome. Saying that, they had a couple garbage picks and I can’t let a team who even had one bad pick as the winner of the draft. Lucky for them, everyone will only remember the Trubisky trade.
Baltimore (First pick: Marlon Humphrey, Other Notable Picks: Chris Wormley, Tim Williams, Nico Siragusa, Jermaine Eluemunor) – Arguably the most consistently good draft from beginning to end. Siragusa was a fantastic pick and almost every other pick was good and fit what they needed.
Cleveland (First pick: Myles Garrett, Other Notable Picks: Jabrill Peppers, Roderick Johnson, Caleb Brantley, Matt Dayes) – A good draft. Or in Cleveland terms, the Draft of the Century! Garrett was the obvious number one choice. People are polarizing on Peppers but I think he was a decent pick. Johnson and Dayes late are great gets for a team not known for its drafting prowess.
Tampa Bay (First pick: O.J. Howard, Other Notable Picks: Justin Evans, Chris Godwin, Jeremy McNichols) – The Bucs drafted three weapons for Famous Jameis. That alone puts them in the top tier.
5 Mike Mayocks (That’s some good pickin!)
The NEW Los Angeles Chargers (First pick: Mike Williams, Other Notable Picks: Dan Feeney, Desmond King) – Amazingly enough, Williams may have been one of the worst picks of the bunch just for the fact they reached a bit for him. Other than that a solid draft for a team that will be playing in a 30,000 seat stadium.
Buffalo (First pick: Tre’Davious White, Other Notable Picks: Zay Jones, Nathan Peterman) – So let me get this straight: the Bills fire most of their front office staff THE DAY AFTER THE DRAFT ENDS? I get that new head coach Sean McDermott probably did the entire draft but still, this is a bad look for a team that hasn’t made the playoffs this century.
Tennessee (First pick: Corey Davis, Other Notable Picks: Adoree Jackson, Taywan Taylor, Jayon Brown) – So……….the real question should be what position won’t Adoree Jackson play.
Washington (First pick: Jonathan Allen, Other Notable Picks: Samaje Perine, Josh Harvey-Clemsons) – Allen is a great pickup for the Skins. You have to wonder why he even made it to the Skins since a couple months ago he was considered a top 5 pick. Perine was overshadowed by the Joe Mixon saga and may end up working out very well in DC.
Minnesota (First pick: Dalvin Cook, Other Notable Picks: Pat Elflein, Stacy Coley) – No, Cook won’t erase the memory of Adrian Peterson (in his glory days). But at least the Vikings have shored up their pathetic running game with that pick. Elflein helps in that regard as well.
4 Mike Mayocks (Give your scouts a bonus…but only a small one)
Indianapolis (First pick: Malik Hooker, Other Notable Picks: Quincy Wilson, Marlon Mack) – Hooker was easily their best pick of the draft. Mayock himself would have pushed the Colts further down the list for their Day 3 Indianapolis Zoo shenanigans.
Philadelphia (First pick: Derek Barnett, Other Notable Picks: Mack Hollins, Donnel Pumphrey, Elijah Qualls) – The hosts did well. They booed. A lot. And they cheered at most of the appropriate times. And Santa Claus and Michael Irvin weren’t there to incite them into a fury. Plus their first pick was a good one. Also, they got Darren Sproles 2.0 in Pumphrey (who is NOT the NCAA rushing yards career leader no matter what the NCAA says).
Miami (First pick: Charles Harris, Other Notable Picks: Isaac Asiata, Davon Godchaux, Vincent Taylor, Isaiah Ford) – A lot of good picks. No great picks although getting Asiata, Godchaux, and Ford where the Fins got them makes their draft class look a lot better.
Denver (First pick: Garett Bolles (and Garett Bolles’ kid), Other Notable Picks: Carlos Henderson, Jake Butt, Chad Kelly) – If it wasn’t for Takkarist McKinley going off the rails, Bolles and his son would be the highlight of the first round. A decent pick as well. Jake Butt is a risk considering his bowl game injury but could turn out to be an amazing pick. I honestly think Chad Kelly will go into camp with a big chip on his shoulder. It’s not Trevor Siemian or Paxton Lynch are for-sure starters so Kelly may sneak in as the backup. Mr. Irrelevant indeed.
Dallas (First pick: Taco Charlton, Other Notable Pick: Chidobe Awuzie, Xavier Woods, Marquez White) – Drew Pearson was the clear highlight for the Cowboys. Too bad, because the guy he announced, Awuzie, was a great pick at that time of the draft. Other than that, a whole lot of average picks.
3 Mike Mayocks (OK now things are starting to turn for the worse)
New Orleans (First pick: Marshon Lattimore, Other Notable Pick: Alex Anzalone) – Fantastic pickup of Lattimore. After that it really was mediocre at best with Anzalone the only decent pick afterwards. Al-Quadin Muhammad was a pick they didn’t need to make considering his off-the-field issues.
Jacksonville (First pick: Leonard Fournette, Other Notable Picks: Dede Westbrook, Blair Brown, Jalen Myrick) – There are very polarizing views of the Jags picking Fournette. One thing is for sure, though; they intend to contend for a playoff spot this year and they are planning much of their offense around Fournette. Westbrook was a good pick for where he was and Brown and Myrick were decent picks as well. Other than that, a whole lot of meh.
Green Bay (First pick: Kevin King, Other Notable Pick: Jamaal Williams) – If it wasn’t for the two picks mentioned, Green Bay would have been almost last in the rankings. King was a superb pick considering the depth of secondary players in this draft. Williams will be a starter very soon (perhaps Week 1) for the Packers. The rest of their picks were pretty much shit with some pretty bad late-round drafting.
Pittsburgh (First pick: T.J. Watt, Other Notable Picks: Bryan Allen, JuJu Smith-Schuster) – I liked the Steelers’ pick of Watt. More than many it seems. Also liked the Smith-Schuster pick. Yes they missed on many of their draft picks otherwise but those two, for sure, were top-rate picks.
Cincinnati (First pick: John Ross, Other Notable Picks: Joe Mixon, Jordan Willis) – I honestly don’t know what I think about the Mixon pick. On one hand, if the Bengals hadn’t taken them, I am sure there were at least 4 or 5 other teams that would have shortly thereafter. On the other hand this is a huge risk on Cincinnati’s part. If this doesn’t work, there could be major changes just around the corner in southern Ohio.
2 Mike Mayocks (Yeah this isn’t good now)
New England (First pick: Derek Rivers, Other Notable Pick: Antonio Garcia) – One of these four draft picks they had will be a Pro Bowler. Guaranteed.
NY Giants (First pick: Evan Engram, Other Notable Picks: Dalvin Tomlinson, Davis Webb) – The Giants reached for Engram. They made have unearthed a bit of a diamond in the rough (as much as you can do that on the first two nights of the draft these days) in Davis Webb. Kid can chuck the ball all over the field and would be a good replacement for Eli at some point (as long as OBJ is still with the team).
Houston (First pick: Deshaun Watson, Other Notable Pick: Zach Cunningham) – If they hadn’t traded that much to get Watson, I would have said it was a solid pick. He will be the day one starter and will be counted on to get the Texans back to the playoffs again. Talk about pressure. Cunningham was the only good pick Houston had.
Atlanta (First pick: Takkarist McKinley, Other Notable Pick: Damontae Kazee) – Takk McKinley was awesome on draft night. A bit of a reach on the Falcons’ part if you ask me but still, you can’t deny his passion. Other than him and Kazee the Falcons flopped big in the draft. Not as bad as their Super Bowl loss. Too soon? Yeah, probably too soon.
Detroit (First pick: Jarrad Davis, Other Notable Picks: Jeremiah Ledbetter) – The Lions missed slightly with their first pick. Then again with their second pick (I think I had Teez Tabor too high in my mock drafts). I say Ledbetter is a good pick but that may be stretching it. No super bad picks and that’s the only thing keeping them out of lower territory.
1 Mike Mayock (Good lord)
Carolina (First pick: Christian McCaffrey, Other Notable Pick: Daeshon Hall) – I think McCaffrey was not a good choice at that spot. He could prove me wrong but it feels like he picked with his almost-Heisman season two seasons ago. If it wasn’t for the Daeshon Hall pick, the Panthers would have been close to the bottom of the rankings.
Seattle (First pick: Malik McDowell, Other Notable Picks: None) – McDowell was a great pick. After that there is nothing notable. Kind of sad considering they drafted like 100 guys (OK it was 11 but it felt like a lot more).
NY Jets (First pick: Jamal Adams, Other Notable Pick: Chad Hansen) – Adams was an OK pick. Hansen was a fantastic pick (where they got him). A lot of sub-average picks otherwise. Pretty much forgetable.
Kansas City (First pick: Patrick Mahomes, Other Notable Picks: None) – Mahomes is a good quarterback. What they traded to get him might not have been worth it but they needed someone. The rest were fairly average picks. Except for Ukeme Eligwe. He was kicked off the Florida State team. I would be shocked if he ever makes the Chiefs roster. Feels like a wasted pick.
Oakland (First pick: Gareon Conley, Other Notable Picks: None) – Conley is a risky pick. Then again it is the Las Vegas, uh, I mean, Oakland Raiders. And what was that about making the picks from Vegas? I fully agree with Rich Eisen, that was just another slap in the face to the fans out in Oakland.
Los Angeles Rams (First pick: Gerald Everett, Other Notable Picks: None) – If it wasn’t for the worst team in these rankings, I would have ranked this team at the bottom. That was from the Redundancy Department of Redundancy. Anyway…yeah the Rams and their young GM pissed away the draft. Damn millennials.
Negative 50,000 Mike Mayocks (What in the fuck?)
Chicago (First pick: Mitchell Trubisky, Other Notable Picks: None) – Arguably the worst trade for a top 5 pick in NFL History (OK second worst after Hinton-for-Elway). Poor Mitchell Trubisky. The kid has to be basically a Hall of Famer or otherwise the fans and the media will shit all over the Bears for this draft and rightfully so. It was awful. Like seriously fucking awful. It was a fun trainwreck to watch though.
Alright, done the draft recap. A longer-than-usual post from yours truly but I needed to be at least somewhat thorough with some parts of the draft. Plus it’s not like I am posting much these days. God I miss football.
It’s almost June which means some semblance of football returns (the CFL). It also means I can start gathering college football preview magazines soon with the mecca of magazines, the Phil Steele College Football Preview, the one that you should get if you are a huge college football fan (like myself). Soon enough I will be putting together the most important games of the year posts along with the preliminary network previews which will be somewhat difficult with the Big Ten’s partial move to FOX (and more importantly for us Canadians, FOX Sports One).
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