Week 8 NFL TV Schedule – Sponsored by Kraft (not the good kind)

YEAH, FUCKERS!

So I guess we know now that Robert Kraft is basically a spoiled brat. Not that it was really up for debate but I think last night confirmed it. Going on and on, yet again, about Deflategate and how beating the Colts would be sooooooo sweet. Look, Bob. We get that you have a great team, arguably the best in the NFL. There is a good chance you will make it to a Super Bowl and may even repeat as champs. I don’t think anyone denies that. The thing is, though, everyone has basically moved on from Deflategate. No one gives a shit about it anymore. I’m sure Tom Brady doesn’t even give a flying fadoo about it. It’s over. Stop bringing it up. All you are now is that asshole who keeps bringing up shit in the past to make himself feel good. You’re no better than a good portion of Pats’ fans. If I didn’t see him or Commissioner Shitbag anymore in my life, I would be a happy man. Oh, and on another Patriots-related note, to the people who think Rob Gronkowski won’t be the best tight end ever, just shut your piehole. If he keeps this up for two or three more seasons, it’s over. He’s the best TE ever. Better than Shannon Sharpe. Better than Tony Gonzalez. Plus, he seems to provide about 90% of the fun off-season news so we need him around to keep our sanity (and be a bit jealous).

OK on to NFL schedule-related matters from a Canadian television standpoint. Here is your NFL TV schedule for this weekend (and Monday):

Sunday
9:30	Detroit vs. Kansas City (in London)	FOX (all of Canada)
1:00	Tampa Bay at Atlanta	No TV
1:00	San Diego at Baltimore	No TV
1:00	Minnesota at Chicago	FOX (Saskatchewan, Alberta, Northwestern Ontario, Western Ontario, K/W-Cambridge, Guelph, Ottawa-Gatineau)/CTV (Winnipeg)
1:00	Arizona at Cleveland	FOX (BC, Alberta)/CTV (Vancouver, Alberta, Saskatchewan)
1:00	Tennessee at Houston	No TV
1:00	NY Giants at New Orleans	FOX (Northern Ontario, Golden Horseshoe, GTA, Peterborough, Kingston, Belleville, Cornwall, Quebec, Eastern Canada)/CTV (Ontario, Montreal, Atlantic)
1:00	Cincinnati at Pittsburgh	CBS (BC, Alberta, Northern Ontario, Western Ontario, K/W-Cambridge, Guelph, Ottawa-Gatineau, Cornwall, Quebec, Eastern Canada)/CTV2 (Vancouver Island, Alberta, Ontario, Atlantic)
1:00	San Francisco at St. Louis	No TV
4:05	NY Jets at Oakland	CBS (Saskatchewan, Alberta, Northwestern Ontario, Golden Horseshoe, GTA, Peterborough, Kingston, Belleville)/CTV2 (Vancouver Island, Alberta, Ontario)
4:25	Seattle at Dallas	FOX (all of Canada)/CTV (all of Canada (except Atlantic))/CTV2 (Atlantic)
8:30	Green Bay at Denver	NBC/TSN1/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5
Monday
8:30	Indianapolis at Carolina	TSN1/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5

Only four games not televised this Sunday and they are all basically garbage games. They may end up being great games but there is no way I would go out of my way to watch them with some of the other games on. Also, MORNING NFL FOOTBALL!!!! Suck on that churchgoers. Another game in London. To be honest, I love this…as long as it airs on either CBS or FOX. Soon enough, the way it’s streamed will be done in an awesome way. By that point, none of us will have cable anyway I’m sure. They should do more games like this. How about Germany? They fucking love football. Put a game in Berlin and they’d sell out in a heartbeat. That should be a prerequisite starting next season: every team must play one game in a neutral-site, either during the pre-season or during the regular season. You want to expand the NFL’s reach? That’s a good way to start.

Something else that sticks a bit in my craw (man I am in a ranting mood) is something I got blasted for. I get that it’s Breast Cancer Awareness month. I am all for that. I don’t like the fact they market the shit out of it for financial gain and use very little of the money for actual research but that’s a different debate for a different time. What I had mentioned was that it’s nice there’s a month for breast cancer awareness but where is all the awareness for what I believe is a much bigger problem, and that is mental health? Man did I ever take shit for that. It’s the same with the ALS Challenge from last year. It was great but if you even discussed why money wasn’t going to other charities, you got the stinkeye. I may notice it more because I am personally affected by it, but the disparity between some awareness campaigns and others is astonishing and, to be honest, downright ridiculous. Plus, if you watched college football last night, did you see the Pitt Panthers helmet with the “Pitt” in pink? They looked fucking atrocious.

Some Gambling Stuff and Things

I am off the gambling train (except for doing Lotto Max or 6/49 every so often). It’s not really a money thing but it kind of is a money thing. I detailed before that unless you are all in with ProLine you either won’t win ever or when you do win, it won’t be very much. I don’t feel like agonizing over a choice on a ticket if it will only get me $106. That seems absurd. Anyway here are some picks I would make if I did make them:

• Cleveland over Arizona.  Yes an upset pick.  This is the game every month where Cleveland up and just plays like a playoff-calibre team.  They act like they are favourites to win their division.  The rest of the time they screw things up so badly that it has become the punchline of many jokes.  And since Zona is so good, this will be the game the Browns win for some odd reason.  Either that or they will lose by 2 points on a missed 25-yard field goal.
• Pittsburgh over Cincinnati.  No way the Bengals go undefeated.  I think this is where it ends.  Pittsburgh is still a fairly good team, especially if Roethlisberger plays.  And despite the fact Cleveland plays in their division (and Baltimore this season), AFC North divisional games are usually tough, unlike AFC East games which are usually a joke.
• Green Bay over Denver.  I honestly think it will end up being a Green Bay-New England Super Bowl.  Either that or both these teams will make their respective conference championship games, and one of them loses in a massive upset.  If it’s Green Bay this happens to and the team that upsets them is the Giants, the Patriots should be VERY worried.  Denver is a good team but Peyton Manning is kind of a shell of himself now.  They should win the AFC West but is that really a huge accomplishment for this team?
• San Diego over Baltimore.  If the Ravens somehow fall to the #1 pick in the 2016 draft, do they pick a quarterback?
• Detroit and Kansas City to tie. It’s the only scenario that is fair.  These are two of the absolute worst teams in the league.  They should tie.  It should be 0-0.  It wouldn’t be exciting but that’s what these two teams deserve because they have been so awful.

OK for you college football fans, there are three games on the specialty pack tonight. Last night we started a run where the rest of October and almost all of November will have either college football or NFL football. November has turned into the football lover’s dream month for this reason. I will definitely overdose on football over the next four weeks. My PVR is going to hate me. Enjoy the games this weekend!

Week 9 College Football TV Schedule – Sponsored by my new game show idea

Of course I would get Chuck Woolery to host it! It’s called “Who Wants to Coach?” Since we have had a rash of coaches getting fired or resigning, there are a lot of openings. The lists of who could fill these jobs tend to be lengthy, especially for the USC job. Anyway, now for how the game works. We could have two wheels like on the Price is Right. Spin the first one to see what job opening we are talking about. Then spin the next (much bigger) wheel to see who will become the next head coach at the school from the first wheel. So, for example, you could spin the first one and land on USC and the second one lands on Kyle Whittingham. Or the first one lands on UCF and the second one lands on Mark Mangino. The possibilities are endless! And on that note, it was with a bit of sadness to see Jerry Kill have to retire due to health issues. He was a great coach who took a program that really wasn’t that good and made them a contender in the Big Ten West. He will be replaced by Tracy Claeys who doesn’t care that his first name is Tracy or that he doesn’t look like he’s a coach at all. He’s a great defensive coordinator and filled in nicely for Kill before so it should be steady as she goes in the Twin Cities. Now if someone could only beat those pesky Iowa Hawkeyes…

Alright, time for the TV schedules this week. Sucks that Halloween is on a Saturday this year. Not for the kids. I mean that’s fantastic for them. And not for Halloween party goers since they can get completely wasted and use Sunday to recover. It sucks for me in terms of watching college football since there will be very little opportunity to watch live action since I will busy for a good part of the afternoon and an even greater part of the evening. I was going to carve Nick Saban’s face as our jack-o-lantern this year but my kids would have no idea who he was and I am sure it would scare at least a few adults from allowing their kids to trick-or-treat at my house (would you like this snack-size Snickers bar or this recruitment letter?). So PVR my good friend, you will be maxed out again. Sorry for your damn luck but it is what it is. One day my PVR is going to give me the ultimate F-U and die at 11:59 on a Saturday morning when I’m out of town. I probably deserve it.

Alright, let’s start with the cable schedule:

				ROGERS	FIBE	SATELLITE
October-29-15	Western Michigan at Eastern Michigan (Thu)	7:30 PM	CBSSN	X	X
October-31-15	Syracuse at #17 Florida State	12:00 PM	ABC	X	X	X
October-31-15	Elon at Stony Brook	12:00 PM	MyTV	X	X
October-31-15	Rutgers at Wisconsin	12:00 PM	BTN	X
October-31-15	USF at Navy	12:00 PM	CBSSN	X	X
October-31-15	Virginia Tech at Boston College	12:30 PM	WSBK	X	X	X
October-31-15	USC at California	3:00 PM	FOX	X	X	X
October-31-15	#11 Florida vs. Georgia (in Jacksonville)	3:30 PM	CBS	X	X	X
October-31-15	Maryland at #10 Iowa	3:30 PM	ABC	X	X	X
October-31-15	San Diego State at Colorado State	3:30 PM	CBSSN	X	X
October-31-15	Tulane at #16 Memphis	7:00 PM	CBSSN	X	X
October-31-15	#15 Michigan at Minnesota	7:00 PM	TSN2	X	X	X
October-31-15	#9 Notre Dame at #21 Temple	8:00 PM	ABC	X	X	X
October-31-15	Air Force at Hawaii	10:30 PM	CBSSN	X	X

Yikes. You can definitely notice when TSN shows almost no college football. Only 13 games on cable on Saturday (with only 6 for Satellite customers). This is where the specialty pack comes in handy, big time! Anyway, the highlight of the cable schedule is (brace yourself) Notre Dame travelling to Temple to face the Owls. This is the coming-out party for this program (which has been around for a long time and has sucked for that same amount of time). Win this and they move into the driver’s seat for the Go5 spot in the New Year’s Six (which would end up being either the Peach or Cotton Bowl).

Now on to the specialty pack schedule which is a quasi-shitshow but explainable at least:

			ROGERS	FIBE	SATELLITE
October-29-15	North Carolina at #23 Pittsburgh (Thu)	7:00 PM	X	X	X
October-29-15	Texas State at Georgia Southern (Thu)	7:30 PM	X	X	X
October-29-15	Oregon at Arizona State (Thu)	10:30 PM	X	X	X
October-30-15	Louisville at Wake Forest (Fri)	7:00 PM	X	X	X
October-30-15	East Carolina at Connecticut (Fri)	7:00 PM	X	X	X
October-30-15	Wyoming at Utah State (Fri)	10:15 PM	X	X	X
October-31-15	#19 Ole Miss at Auburn**	12:00 PM	X	X	X
October-31-15	Nebraska at Purdue	12:00 PM	X	X	X
October-31-15	Illinois at Penn State	12:00 PM	X	X	X
October-31-15	South Carolina at Texas A&M	12:00 PM		X	X
October-31-15	Virginia Tech at Boston College	12:30 PM	X	X	X
October-31-15	Georgia Tech at Virginia	3:00 PM	X	X	X
October-31-15	#3 Clemson at NC State	3:30 PM	X	X	X
October-31-15	#12 Oklahoma State at Texas Tech	3:30 PM	X	X	X
October-31-15	Boise State at UNLV	3:30 PM	X	X	X
October-31-15	UT-Martin at Arkansas	4:00 PM		X	X
October-31-15	Vanderbilt at #18 Houston***	7:00 PM	X	X	X
October-31-15	Miami at #22 Duke***	7:00 PM	X	X	X
October-31-15	Tennessee at Kentucky	7:30 PM		X	X
October-31-15	#8 Stanford at Washington State	10:30 PM	X	X	X

OK follow me on this. There are seven games where there are scheduling issues here (not in the States where that shit is set at least a week in advance). Here is a little legend to help you out:

• 1 asterisk (*) means the game isn’t appearing on any of the guides but there is a spot for them there
• 2 asterisks (**) means the game isn’t appearing on the Rogers guide only but there is a spot for it there
• 3 asterisks (***) means the game isn’t appearing on the Satellite guide only but there is a spot for them there

I am not even going to try to comprehend why these games aren’t appearing there when the spots just say “College Football” with no additional information. It’s like they found the laziest person possible to do this and he’ll get around to it Friday night while he’s cleaning the Dorito dust off his shirt.  Update: Bell Fibe is showing games on the guide.  Haven’t been able to find an updated Rogers Super Sports Pack schedule but I assume they have been added.  Satellite guide is up to date as well.

Anyway, there are no standout games but a lot of good ones on the specialty pack. Plus pretty much all the games tonight and tomorrow night are there so if college football is your heroin, you might want to get it (despite the cost).

This one’s gonna be a dandy

OK maybe not a dandy (in some cases) but there are some good games. These good games become way more important because in some cases they will have huge conference ramifications. Alright here we go.

Notre Dame at Temple (8:00, ABC) – This is the only game between two ranked teams this week. So we are now at two weeks in a row with very little marquee value. The thing is about this game is that there is a lot of hype surrounding it. College Gameday is in Philly. This is a big deal for both teams for somewhat similar reasons. Notre Dame still has a good shot at the New Year’s Six and an outside chance at the College Football Playoff. If the Owls pull this off, they probably go to the Peach Bowl which would be massive for this program. Someone’s dreams will end Saturday night.

West Virginia at TCU (Thursday, 7:30, we don’t get it here) – Yes, this would be considered a trap game. TCU is looking down the barrel at three massive games (with an easy one at Kansas mixed in) after this encounter with the Mountaineers. They trip up here, they basically blow up their chances at the College Football Playoff. Uncle Dana will be licking his chops hoping for the upset.

Ole Miss at Auburn (Noon, specialty pack) – This game probably would have went to TSN if TSN was showing more than one game this Saturday. The Rebels have to recover after last week’s loss to Memphis if they have any hope of going to a major bowl. Auburn needs a win just to keep their bowl-eligibility chances alive after their marathon loss to Arkansas.

Clemson at NC State (3:30, specialty pack) – I had thought this game would be on ABC in our area but instead we get Maryland-Iowa. Oh well. This should still be a good game. Another trap game here since I am sure the Tigers are looking ahead to their date with Florida State. A loss here by Clemson could really hamper the ACC’s chances of having a representative in the College Football Playoff.

Stanford at Washington State (10:30, specialty pack) – I don’t get the Pac-12’s problem with late-night games. I totally get it when there is more than one on but to have just one in the late-night slot is good because let’s be honest, it’s not like the Mountain West would usurp them as the game of the night. I will say it again, this season has been crazy. Want proof? College Gameday producers agonized over whether to go to Temple or Washington State for Gameday. Seriously. Fucking insane. Anyway, if Stanford doesn’t watch it, the Cougs could hamper the Pac-12’s chances of having a representative in the College Football Playoff. Isn’t college football fun?

Georgia vs. Florida (in Jacksonville, 3:30, CBS) – Ah, the Cocktail Party. I don’t give a flying fuck what the NCAA says, that’s what I am calling it. Still hoping they provide free booze to Verne and Gary for the game. As long as there was no puking it would be a whole lot more enjoyable to watch. This is now the de facto SEC East championship game. Usually this game is exciting and I see this being no different. Will it make my PVR? I don’t know about that.

Picking teams n’ shit

I have decided to curb my football gambling. I started early last year with stopping gambling on college football games. I have now extended it to NFL games. More of a cost-cutting measure, plus I found I was too wrapped up in hoping my teams would win rather than enjoying the games. Same with fantasy football which I have now not played for two seasons in a row (suck on that DraftKings and FanDuel). Alright, saying all that, here are my picks for the week (think of me as that guy that used to be on those greasy gambling shows hosted by guys you would never invite into your own house, except my suits aren’t nearly as flashy and I look a lot less like a used car salesman than those douchebags):

Notre Dame over Temple (it pains me to do this…I think it will be close but I gotta do this….actually you know what, fuck it…)

Temple over Notre Dame (throw all caution to the wind and hope for the underdog!)

TCU over West Virginia

Ole Miss over Auburn

Clemson over NC State

Stanford over Washington State

Georgia over Florida

Oklahoma State over Texas Tech

Minnesota over Michigan

North Carolina over Pittsburgh

UCLA over Colorado

Alright, so as you can see there are four games tonight and three tomorrow. There’s also the NFL Thursday Nighter and for once I am actually interested in it as Miami travels to New England to try and stop two undefeated streaks: the Patriots’ 2015 season and the Patriots’ Thursday Night record.

Week 7 Short NFL Recap – Sponsored by Big D….saster

What in the hell is going on in Dallas? Don’t get me wrong, Tony Romo is a very good quarterback but him going down shouldn’t have caused this. This guy isn’t A-aron Rodgers or Tom Brady. The entire team has imploded. Makes no sense. And while we are on the issue of the Cowboys, can they just cut that pile of trash, Greg Hardy? The guy is clearly a nutcase. I don’t really care what he’s done outside of football (he sounds like a shitbag but you could label at least 30% of the NFL’s players like that), but he acts like a god damn hothead on the field and then pushes coordinators and other players around. What’s his deal? Is he on the DTs and can’t handle it? Does he have a mental illness? Did someone call him a derogatory name? Those are probably the only three reasons I would somewhat accept. If none of these are true, release this dumbass. Now if they could only find a quarterback for the next few weeks…

Rest of the Fun-Time Recap

I will not relocate this blog. It’s hard enough getting readers for this one. To relocate it would be blogicide. But I’m not the Oakland Raiders, St. Louis Rams, or San Diego Chargers. To be honest, they should also move the Jacksonville Jaguars. This way they could have an AFC Los Angeles Division.

And this is why the Bills always miss the playoffs. It’s the fucking Jacksonville Jaguars for god’s sake. The Bills shouldn’t have gone down by that much to begin with. Their sloppy play every season is why they now have the longest streak of missing the playoffs in North American professional sports (Go Jays!). Two months ago, no one would have said this but they DESPERATELY need Tyrod Taylor back.

The Redskins did what? What a comeback by the Skins. Very impressive. Especially for that team. I know it was only the Bucs but still. Honestly, they have as good a chance to win the NFC East as any other team. Which is sad. Amazingly enough this isn’t the worst division in football.

Are we looking at a 6-10 playoff team? It is entirely possible that the winner of the AFC South will be 6-10. All four teams are awful. I never thought Indy would be this bad but I was pretty sure the other three teams would be. I kind of hope this happens so that Commissioner Fucktard can change the playoff structure, making it so a division winner can only be guaranteed a top 5 seed and not a top 4 seed.

Holy offense Batman! That first half that the Dolphins put up against the Texans was insane. Holy crap has Miami played well for Dan Campbell. This is what they were supposed to be. Maybe, just maybe, they can put a scare in the Patriots. I say this because the rest of the Pats’ schedule looks somewhat soft meaning they could totally go 16-0 in the regular season. What does this mean? We would have to hear stupid Patriot fans blabbering on and on about their team. This is the thing: I am not a Pats fan but I admit they are a very good team. It’s their fans I can’t stand. Funny how all these fans have been fans before 2000. Sure you were.

I’d love to give you a list of teams probably already eliminated. But I can’t. I can name a few. Baltimore, Cleveland, Kansas City, and San Diego in the AFC. Chicago, Detroit, and San Francisco in the NFC. Any team in the NFC East and AFC South are still in play despite their horrid records. I guess this means Week 17 will be unreal in terms of excitement, unlike many of the previous few years where only a handful of games truly mattered.

On the other end of the spectrum. We still have 5 undefeated teams. FIVE! It will be down to four after this coming week as Green Bay travels to Denver. But still. We may hit the halfway mark of the year with four undefeated teams. Unprecedented. Let’s hope this means the Wild Card races are great since some of these divisions will be clinched by American Thanksgiving.

Since I have been under the weather, that is it for the recap. I’ll try better next time. Or not. I don’t really know. No early college football this week so the next games for both college and NFL are Thursday night. You will have a (hopefully mostly complete) post on the college football TV schedule by then.

Week 8 College Football Recap – Sponsored by Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Did you see that play to end the Florida State-Georgia Tech game? Good god. I don’t know what it is about this season but there have been a few amazingly crazily stupid finishes. Like this one. I don’t get it. It felt like 10 seconds had elapsed between the blocked field goal and the Georgia Tech player picking it up. I still haven’t seen a camera shot of all the FSU players at that point but at least eight of them must have been just standing around since it felt like there were only three Noles players within striking distance of the player with the ball. All in all, it was a great ending to a kind of mediocre game that all but eliminated Florida State from the College Football Playoff because the ACC (other than Clemson) is hardly any better than the AAC.

OK on to the rest of the recap. Thank god for some great games and finishes since the slate was pretty meh overall. It kept me entertained. I was able to stay up until the middle of the fourth quarter of the Washington-Stanford game solely on adrenaline from earlier on in the day (although I kind of paid for it the next day).

This sets up the biggest game in Temple history. Temple. The Temple Owls football team. They will be hosting Notre Dame on ABC next Saturday night, in PRIMETIME. How crazy does that sound? It does to me. This is easily Temple’s best team ever. If they can pull out the win over the Irish next weekend, they almost lock up the Group of Five spot (as long as they win their remaining games). I don’t see how Toledo, Memphis, or Houston could catch them.

Finally it happened. Just a few weeks too late. Al Golden was finally fired at Miami. Probably at least three weeks too late. The team is a mess. The worst part is, they could still be bowl-eligible this season. What the hell is going on with coaches this season? I have never seen this many head coaching openings during a season ever. Speaking of that…

It’s about time George. Another mess of a team in Florida. UCF is brutal. How they have fallen this fast I have no idea. But a good first start is George O’Leary resigning. They need something. A spark. It doesn’t help that the American is far and away the best conference of the Group of Five and could even be considered better than the ACC.

Multiple overtimes? Don’t mind if I do. Not one, but TWO quadruple-overtime games on Saturday. The insanity continues. First, Arkansas somehow beats Auburn in four overtimes in a game between struggling SEC schools. Then Duke gets a big scare from Beamer’s Boys but still, in the end, wins in the fourth overtime period. Even though it was sloppy at times, both games were highly entertaining.

I’m pretty sure Bo never lost five games in a season. Nebraska is 3-5. Let that sink in. They need to win three of their last four just to qualify for a bowl and it will not be easy. No team in college football (even Tennessee and Texas) have had a more heartbreaking season than the Huskers. In every one of their losses, they were leading at some point in the fourth quarter. Mike Riley must be the least popular person in the entire state of Nebraska right now. And somewhere, if his facial muscles allow it, Bo Pelini is smiling.

That was a bit of a scare. At one point, Toledo was down 18 to UMass. UMASS! They eventually ended up winning but unfortunately for them, they have the same problem as Marshall had last season. The rest of their schedule is almost comically easy so unless they blow every one of those teams out the rest of the way, they will be overtaken for the New Year’s Six spot even if they run the table. The only way they get it is if they are the only undefeated Group of Five team remaining and even then I wonder if they would get the invite.

Now let’s get a bit more serious. What happened in Stillwater Saturday morning was a tragedy. Some idiot, who was drunk, ran their car into the homecoming parade, killing four and seriously injuring countless others. This is the type of person that has no place in society at all. I hope she never, ever, sets foot outside a prison as a free woman ever again. Let the bitch rot there. It totally overshadowed the Pokes huge win over woeful Kansas (which was to be expected). It will be a tough rest of the football season for Oklahoma State and the people of Stillwater.

Now this has been bad. The two-time defending SEC East champion Missouri Tigers have played some of the most atrocious football ever this season. Their offense is non-existent. Thankfully for them their defense is fairly good but they only scored three points against Vanderbilt? Come on. The problem now is that everyone is back to seeing Missouri as a team that maybe never should have been invited to the SEC in the first place which is sad considering how successful they have been in their new conference.

The Cougs are going to be bowl-eligible. Yes, all three of them. Houston and BYU are already there. Houston was expected, BYU has been a surprisingly good team this season, but Washington State has completely defied the odds. They are one win away from going back to a bowl game. If that doesn’t make you notice how this is getting very close to 2007 in terms of being completely ridiculous, here are a few other teams who are either bowl-eligible or could clinch in the next two or three weeks: USF, Illinois, FIU, Southern Miss, New Mexico, and Colorado. All these teams suck-diddly-ucked for at least the past couple years yet are closing in on a potential bowl game. Crazy.

USC is tough to figure out. I don’t get it. They play well when you think they have no chance (see the upset over Utah or the almost-upset of Notre Dame). Other times they play god-awful (see the Washington loss). To be honest, Clay Helton has coached his way into the conversation. If he doesn’t get the USC job (which I don’t think he will), then he probably has a decent shot at landing his first head coaching gig somewhere in the FBS since every other team seems to be firing their head coach these days.

Alright, it is getting close to Halloween and early November. You know what that means? The first College Football Playoff rankings come out! They come out on November 3^rd which means after that, there will be so many debates over it, it will get silly. The media will always try to poke holes in the best teams even if they are dominant, much like what they are doing with Leonard Fournette and the Heisman.

So I have decided to throw my hat in the ring and give you my first look at the CFP Four. Here is how I see it being considering what has gone on so far:

Orange Bowl: #1 Ohio State vs. #4 Baylor

Cotton Bowl: #2 Alabama vs. #3 Clemson

The first three, in my estimation, are the easiest three to pick. I see Ohio State and Clemson ending the regular season undefeated and Alabama will run the table the rest of the way. The fourth team will be difficult since everyone is going to beat up on everyone else. In the end, I think Baylor will beat the teams they need to beat badly enough to eek out that last spot. I have them losing to TCU which would have knocked them out of contention, but I also have TCU losing a tough road trip to Oklahoma.

Alright that’s it for the slightly shorter college football recap. Tomorrow will be the NFL recap and I will be back Thursday with the college football TV schedule for the week.

Week 7 NFL Schedule – Sponsored by My Hands (which are sore from carving pumpkins)

I kind of like Halloween. I am not, however, one of those adults that goes apeshit over Halloween. I’m not talking about the people who get cool ideas for costumes to go to actual Halloween parties. That’s fine. I’m talking about people like me, who still have Halloween Trick-or-Treating-age kids. Some people go WAY overboard with it. I mean what the hell are you compensating for? You’re probably the same people who, at Christmas, have so many decorations they stick out onto the actual road, making it difficult to drive in very snowy weather (you dick). Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, my hands are in a bit of pain…

Anyway, on to the schedule. Notice something different about it? You’d have to be blind not to.

Sunday
9:30	Buffalo vs. Jacksonville (in London)	CBS (Golden Horseshoe, GTA, Peterborough)
1:00	Tampa Bay at Washington	No TV
1:00	Minnesota at Detroit	FOX (Saskatchewan, Alberta, Western Ontario, K-W/Cambridge, Guelph, Ottawa-Gatineau)/TSN1/CTV (Winnipeg)
1:00	New Orleans at Indianapolis	FOX (BC, Alberta, Northwestern Ontario, Northern Ontario, Golden Horseshoe, GTA, Peterborough, Kingston, Belleville, Cornwall, Quebec)/CTV (Vancouver, Alberta, Saskatchewan)
1:00	Pittsburgh at Kansas City	No TV
1:00	Houston at Miami	No TV
1:00	NY Jets at New England	CBS (BC, Golden Horseshoe, GTA, Peterborough, Kingston, Belleville, Cornwall, Quebec, Eastern Canada)/CTV (Ontario, Montreal, Atlantic)
1:00	Cleveland at St. Louis	No TV
1:00	Atlanta at Tennessee	No TV
4:05	Oakland at San Diego	CBS (Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Northwestern Ontario, Northern Ontario, Western Ontario, K-W/Cambridge, Guelph, Ottawa-Gatineau)/TSN1
4:25	Dallas at NY Giants	FOX (all of Canada)/CTV (Vancouver, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Winnipeg, Ontario, Montreal)/CTV2 (Atlantic)
8:30	Philadelphia at Carolina	NBC/TSN1/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5
Monday
8:30	Baltimore at Arizona	TSN1/TSN3/TSN5

Yes, morning football…for some. If you are in the Golden Horseshoe, GTA, or Peterborough area (or basically anywhere you can get CBS out of Buffalo), you will get the Bills-Jaguars game on CBS. Update: It looks like Canadians will not have access to the Bills game even if you get CBS out of Buffalo.  Probably a simsub issue and, to be honest, it’s dumb.  The rest of us have to stream it somewhere. As far as I know, you can stream it through Yahoo and I am assuming there are other ways to do it.

As for the early games, it’s a bit of a joke. There are 8 games in the 1:00 timeslot and we are able to see 3 of them. That’s pretty bad. To be honest, I hope this Yahoo streaming of the game works well because the way things are done (up here in Canada at least) is ridiculous. We are getting less choice than we would have received ten years ago. Yet for college football, we are probably getting twice the amount of games we did back then (if not three times as many). Makes no sense.

As for selections, I won’t be doing full selections anymore. I feel I am wasting too much money on ProLine when it could go to Lotto Max or Lotto 6/49! But seriously, I don’t know of anyone who has won ProLine pools without boxing at least one game. So you have to pay at least $10 for the chance to win part of the pot. I usually boxed two games (boxing, in ProLine terms, means picking both teams so you couldn’t lose that particular game) and it would cost me $20. Which is fine once in a while but not every week. The reason I am still doing a few selections is so that I don’t do a full set of picks. If I did a full set of picks and I miraculously got every one right and didn’t play, it would probably be the last blog post I did.

Alright so here are a few predictions for this Sunday:

• Upset of the week pick: Kansas City over Pittsburgh.  KC is that kind of team that will win a few games like this but lose many to teams like Detroit.
• Take it to the bank: New England over NY Jets.  I’m not a huge fan of the Pats organization.  But what’s worse is Patriots fans (and Boston-area teams fans in general).  They are insufferable.  But the team is good.  They’ll win by about 30 (or lose by 1 and make me look like a fool).
• London calling: I’d be shocked if the Bills didn’t win.  But if they do lose then we can consider them no different than any Bills team of the last dozen years.
• San Fran lost last night.  If Oakland and St. Louis lose then the Relocation Trio will have completed the loser trifecta.  Just have the three teams playoff for the right to move.  Loser has to move to London or Mexico City.

Alright, college football tomorrow. I’m at @LikeABauce1978 on the Twitter Machine if you do that sort of thing. I’ll be there all day because I think I am addicted to college football. It also means I watch less NFL since I am now relatively busy on Sunday. Oh well, c’est la vie. Have a great weekend and enjoy the football!

Week 8 College Football TV Schedule – Sponsored by the return of The Committee!

We’re BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!

Yes, the College Football Playoff Committee sends out their first rankings on November 3^rd. To me that is entirely too early. Hell, they couldn’t get it done properly after the games on American Thanksgiving weekend. We will have controversy, that is a given. Some team will be ranked too high and another ranked too low and the problem will be “rectified” with some horseshit leap-frogging in the poll to “make things right.” Don’t get me wrong. Should Ohio State have been in the CFP last season? Absolutely. But they shouldn’t have had to leapfrog TCU to get in. They should have been ahead if not VERY close behind. That would have made The Committee’s decision a little more palatable. Oh well, what we should all be not thankful for is that every ESPN employee (except the 350 about to get shitcanned) will get to show their bracket at some point over the next month. I don’t mind debate about the rankings, just don’t show who you want in. Doesn’t matter if it’s Rece Davis or Janitor Bob, their rankings mean sweet fuck all.

Alright, enough of that and on to the task at hand. The TV schedule for this week. Of course this had to be a free weekend for me. One of the worst weeks of the season in terms of game quality. Let’s hope we have some ridiculous finishes so that I don’t feel as bad eating really shitty food and staying up until 2 in the morning…at home.

First off, the cable schedule:

			ROGERS	FIBE	SATELLITE
California at UCLA (Thu)	9:00 PM	TSN4	X	X	X
Clemson at Miami	12:00 PM	ABC/TSN1	X	X	X
Iowa State at Baylor	12:00 PM	TSN2	X	X	X
Pittsburgh at Syracuse	12:00 PM	TSN4	X	X	X
Boston College at Louisville	12:30 PM	WSBK	X	X	X
Tulane at Navy	1:00 PM	CBSSN	X	X
Indiana at Michigan State	3:30 PM	ABC	X	X	X
Ohio at Buffalo	3:30 PM	MyTV	X	X
Wisconsin at Illinois	3:30 PM	BTN	X
Tennessee at Alabama	3:30 PM	CBS	X	X	X
Connecticut at Cincinnati	4:30 PM	CBSSN	X	X
Utah at USC	7:30 PM	FOX	X	X	X
Ohio State at Rutgers	8:00 PM	ABC	X	X	X

As usual, this is set in stone (for the most part). There is a reverse mirror for the 3:30 ABC game. Most of us will see Indiana take on Michigan State but some will get Texas Tech-Oklahoma (like people who can get ABC out of Seattle I presume). I will watch for this for the next day or so as sometimes the coverage maps don’t come out until Friday which is a bit of an annoyance but it is what it is. All in all, this is a really weak schedule. The best cable game is probably Utah-USC which is pretty sad. As I said before…pray for great finishes. Then again, this is college football. We will get at least one. I mean nothing like Michigan State-Michigan last week but it should be alright.

And now to the bane of my (blogging) existence…the specialty pack schedule:

		ROGERS	FIBE	SATELLITE
Temple at East Carolina (Thu)	7:00 PM	X	X	X
Georgia Southern at Appalachian State (Thu)	7:30 PM	X	X	X
Memphis at Tulsa (Fri)	8:00 PM	X	X	X
Utah State at San Diego State (Fri)	10:30 PM	X	X	X
Northwestern at Nebraska	12:00 PM	X	X	X
Pittsburgh at Syracuse (no longer on SP)	12:00 PM
NC State at Wake Forest	12:00 PM	X	X	X
Auburn at Arkansas	12:00 PM		X	X
Boston College at Louisville	12:30 PM	X	X	X
Penn State vs. Maryland (in Baltimore)	3:30 PM	X	X	X
Texas Tech at Oklahoma	3:30 PM	X	X	X
Duke at Virginia Tech	3:30 PM	X	X	X
Virginia at North Carolina	3:30 PM	X	X	X
Missouri at Vanderbilt	4:00 PM		X	X
Texas A&M at Ole Miss	7:00 PM	X	X	X
Florida State at Georgia Tech	7:00 PM	X	X	X
Western Kentucky at LSU	7:00 PM	X	X	X
Kentucky at Mississippi State	7:30 PM		X	X
Wyoming at Boise State	10:15 PM	X	X	X
Washington at Stanford	10:30 PM	X	X	X

Again, it’s like Rogers and Bell can’t stop tripping over themselves. Why in the blue hell is Pittsburgh-Syracuse on the specialty pack when it’s already on TSN4? I can see that changing to Northwestern-Nebraska which isn’t showing up anywhere yet is a game on ESPN2. When this change will happen? I predict late Friday night. There are five other later games not showing up on the specialty pack either but there are spots for them so they should be there soon. Looks like I will be doing updates over the next day or so. Update: All these games have been added.  However, Rogers has removed-Pitt-Cuse but Bell has not.  Still don’t think it will appear on the specialty pack but I could be wrong.  For now it is still there.  Update #2: Pitt-Syracuse officially taken off the specialty pack (since it’s already on a TSN station).  As for now, any game with an asterisk beside it is NOT confirmed but should be before the games begin.  Another weak schedule here, with Texas A&M-Ole Miss as the headliner. Yikes. Pretty bad. No wonder they put College GameDay at James Madison. And saying that, why couldn’t they pick another school that hasn’t hosted it. Here are a few options they could have taken:

• Syracuse (for Pitt at Cuse) – There is actually quite a bit of college football history in Syracuse.  They could use a full hour to talk about Jim Brown and Donovan McNabb.  Kind of amazed they’ve never been there before.
• Orlando (for Houston at UCF) – OK, UCF is terrible this year.  But they spent the better part of six years before that being really good.  Plus, with Houston there at least there is one good AAC team playing.
• Tampa (for SMU at USF) – OK, maybe not.  I mean they haven’t been here but this is a pretty bad matchup.
• Piscataway (for Ohio State at Rutgers) – My guess is ESPN won’t go here because of the fact the Rutgers football program is a dumpster fire right now.  Otherwise, this would have been the pick, no doubt about it.

OK so there weren’t that many choices. Not saying James Madison isn’t a good choice since they are historically one of the best FCS programs (and should move up to FBS soon enough). Just thinking the game itself (the Dukes hosting Richmond in the Little Battle for Virginia (Commonwealth Cup Lite?)) should have at least been on ESPNEWS if not ESPNU since this is the weekend it would have been appreciated. I digress.

Games of the Week (if you like to change channels all the time)

This is probably one of the many reasons I am not married anymore. I like to change channels when watching live TV. I’m a guy, what can I say? I also pay extra to get the U.S. College Sports Package and CBS Sports Network so I am damn well going to turn the channel there…a lot. I always stick with a game if it’s close in the 4^th quarter but other than that I am all over the map. It’s fun. I’m sure my remote control will die a painful death one day but that’s the price you pay for being a remote control in this day and age.

Texas A&M at Ole Miss (7:00, specialty pack) – This is the de facto game of the week since it’s the only game between two ranked teams. Let’s put this into perspective. Both of these teams lost last week, A&M to Bama, and Ole Miss to Memphis. So neither of them are even top 15. Sad state of affairs. If either team wants a chance at the SEC West title, they have to win here. Loser has to probably run the table to be considered in the New Year’s Six conversation.

Clemson at Miami (Noon, ABC/TSN1) – When a game involving Miami is the second best game of the week, you know it’s not a strong schedule. If Clemson blows The U out of the water, do they fire Al Golden on the field at the end of the game? That would make this game a whole lot more entertaining.

Indiana at Michigan State (3:30, ABC) – Last week’s game between the Hoosiers and Rutgers shows why Indiana still has a LOOOOOONG way to go towards respectability. They had a 20+ point lead on the shitshow that is Scarlet Knights football and they squandered it. Terrible. Knowing the way this season has gone for Sparty, expect them to get out to a three-touchdown lead, take the foot off the accelerator and win by 5 somehow.

Tennessee at Alabama (3:30, CBS) – Is it looking good for the Vols or isn’t it? I can’t tell anymore. They look horrible in allowing Oklahoma, Florida, and Arkansas to come back and beat them. Then they play well and somehow beat Georgia. I don’t get it. I hope we get the Butch Jones lit a fire under their ass Vols rather than the Butch Jones and his coaching staff left their brains at home Vols. Nothing worse than a CBS game that is essentially over by the 5 minute mark of the second quarter.

Western Kentucky at LSU (7:00, specialty pack) – OK LSU should win this game. But if the Hilltoppers’ offense is on their game, LSU better be ready. Brandon Doughty is arguably the best Group of Five quarterback and WKU’s offense is crazy-good. So I expect LSU to win but it will be one of those 55-45 deals where WKU scores a late touchdown to make it look respectable but the game overall gives LSU (and their fans) a bit of a scare.

Utah at USC (7:30, FOX) – OK, I lied. This game isn’t the game of the week on cable but it’s close. Now, if Pat Haden all of a sudden announced he would be filling the college football world in on the next USC head football coach at halftime then this game would rocket up the list. Otherwise it will be watchable because it’s better than the ABC offering that starts half-an-hour later.

Gambling and shit

I have noticed that there is a huge disparity in prizes between the NFL and college football ProLine pools. In the NFL one, the winners share between $400K and $800K which is pretty damn sweet if there’s less than a hundred winners. For the college one, the winners share between $10K and $20K. And people wonder why I don’t gamble on college football. I don’t feel like putting in $20 to get back maybe $500. Not exciting enough. I need that thrill of having almost zero chance of winning a prize of like $100K. Anyway, here are my picks (which have no research or thought behind them):

Ole Miss over Texas

Clemson over Miami

Michigan State over Indiana

Alabama over Tennessee

LSU over Western Kentucky

Utah over USC

Ohio State over Rutgers

Stanford over Washington

Memphis over Tulsa

Oklahoma over Texas Tech

Tomorrow I will have the NFL schedule up (which is a lot easier and a lot less frustrating).

Week 6 Short NFL Recap – Sponsored by THE PAGANO!

What in the blue hell was that? I couldn’t create a play that poor in Madden by trying, yet somehow Chucky P figured this was smart? First off, Pags, you don’t out-Belichick Belichick. Usually you can’t. And even if you do, his expression won’t change. He’s a robot. Second, I have seen various setups for a punt. But after what happened in the Michigan State-Michigan game (if you didn’t see it, find the video…it’s nuts) I would have done a normal punt every time. Not even the stupid rugby-style punts that work about 9% of the time. Finally, you were close with the Patriots. You had a chance to, perhaps, give them their first loss of the season. Why was that the time you decided to take your brain out of your head and say “Welp, I won’t need this anymore?” I just don’t get it. He may have survived cancer but this is the NFL. What have you done for me lately is their slogan. I wouldn’t be surprised if we had another midseason shitcanning.

Rest of the Ol’ Recap

There was an NFL Monday Nighter? There was so much going on last night what with the election and the Jays game, I didn’t turn to the Giants-Eagles game once. Sounds like it was fun, unless you are a Giants fan. It’s too bad for them that 2 good years and the rest of them being mediocre has made Eli a quasi-legend since he clearly isn’t even a top 10 quarterback in the league (and I would argue, not even a top 20 quarterback anymore). Plus I have stopped buying the idea that Tom Coughlin can still coach. He’s been given somewhat of a lifetime pass, again for two good seasons. Time to cut the cord and rebuild in New Yawk.

Of course the Browns threw it away. Speaking of undefeated streaks ending, the Browns (THE BROWNS?!?!?!?) had a chance to end Denver’s streak to start the season. Instead, they decided to act like the Browns and throw the ball away, literally. It was painful to watch the highlights to be honest. But I kind of expected it. It is the Browns after all.

Four chances from inside the 5… and the Chargers come away with nothing. Again, another chance for a team to knock off another undefeated, better team and they fall short. At least it wasn’t pathetic. The Pack played good D, at least on that final set of downs.

One day the Bills fans will take it too far. There is no set of fans more awesome than Bills fans. They clearly do not care about anything other than the Bills, including themselves. I have this bad feeling, though, that one day a Bills fan will die when they decide to do a halftime Hell in a Cell match between sections 106 and 302 for the fans’ entertainment. As enjoyable as it would be, CBS would never air it, so it would really be all for naught.

Is Seattle really this bad? Perhaps. They just haven’t looked like the Seahawks of the past four seasons. It’s not like they have been blown out but they are one Megatron fumble from being 1-5 and dead last in the NFC West (yes even behind the 49ers). Speaking of the Fighting Tomsulas, Seattle faces them on Thursday night in a winner-gets-a-little-more-respectable match. They lose that and things could get real interesting in the Pacific Northwest.

Alright, that’s all. As I said it would be short. VERY short. I didn’t even watch almost any action live. Yeah it was one of those weekends. It won’t be like that this weekend. Have to make sure the portable vacuum is plugged in to get all the Dorito dust off my shirt.

College football fans (like, HARDCORE college football fans) will be happy tonight as UL-Lafayette faces Arkansas State on TSN2 at 8:00. College football schedule coming Thursday (I would love to do it Wednesday but I want to keep my sanity). NFL schedule out Friday as usual.

Week 7 College Football Recap – Sponsored by whatever the hell that was at the end of the Michigan State-Michigan game

What the hell just happened?

Yeah I don’t know either Jim. That ending will live on in infamy. There were so many possible things the punter could have done to at least make sure that the Spartans didn’t score a touchdown on that very play. He did pretty much everything wrong. He fumbled the snap which wasn’t great but wasn’t horrible. Then he picked it up and turned his back to the entire play. Then, as he was being tackled, he thought to try to punt the ball anyway. Instead of punting it, he basically threw it into the defender’s hands. So much fail in one play. I am not usually a proponent of cutting a guy for one play but Jim, you gotta cut that guy. Seriously. There is no way he will live that down. Ever.

OK time for the rest of the college football recap. I’m not feeling the best since whatever seems to be going around, I caught it. Went to bed early on Saturday. And when I mean early I mean just after 11. Normally when I have my kids and my PVR begs for mercy, I catch up throughout the day when I can and then end up staying up until 3 in the morning. I didn’t get very far. The next day was busier and I was feeling just a tad shittier so I barely got through all the action by evening. I hadn’t even watched any NFL games and had to rely on the NFL Network’s weird coverage whereby they tend to go over certain games three and four times whereas other games get seven seconds of highlights. I also relied on NBC’s pre-game show. If it wasn’t for Dan Patrick I think that show would be completely unwatchable. Anyway, enough about the NFL. More college football…at least in this post.

If Kentucky misses out on a bowl again, Mark will become Shitcanned Stoops. The Wildcats football team find ways to make their fans beg for basketball season. They should have beat Auburn on Thursday night but terrible playcalling probably lost them the game. For everyone who gets on college kickers for how poor they are compared to their NFL brethren, look at head coaches and offensive coordinators. More than half of them have no idea about playcalling and clock management. It’s brutal to watch at times.

Christian McCaffrey, come on down! I know the media is DESPERATE for a player to look like they have a chance to beat out Leonard Fournette for the Heisman. It won’t happen unless Leonard gets injured or has at least two sub-par games. Saying that, Ed McCaffrey’s offspring may have gone a long way towards booking his ticket to New York in December. But that wasn’t the most amazing thing about that game…

Catch of the year? Try catch of the decade. What Francis Owusu did on that catch was unreal. It is better than any catch I have seen in at least five or six years, and that includes Odell Beckham Jr.’s ridiculous one-hander last season. It was the icing on the cake for Stanford’s demolition of UCLA’s Pac-12 hopes.

So who will now get the Boise State spot in the New Year’s Six? The spot normally reserved for the Broncos will not go to the Broncos this year. My money right now is on Temple who still has a big game against Notre Dame to push them up the rankings. Either way, whoever gets in will have to go undefeated. If every one of Temple, Memphis, Houston, and Toledo lose between now and conference championship week we could be in for a lot of chaos.

Speaking of the Tigers… That was a statement game by Memphis. To beat a good Ole Miss team on national TV (not in Canada) was huge. In many people’s minds, it has put them in the driver’s seat for the one Go5 spot at the adult table come bowl time.

Remember what I said about a potential Iowa-Michigan Big Ten Championship Game? So I may end up being half-right with that. Iowa blew out Northwestern and may have the Big Ten West wrapped up by early November. The Big Ten East, on the other hand, again comes down to Ohio State-Michigan State now that Michigan has kindly removed itself from consideration.

And that’s why Indiana never goes bowling. They led Rutgers 52-27 in the third quarter and couldn’t close it out. They had 52 points midway through the third and lost. To Rutgers. Now they have to pull out at least one upset or they will be pushing their fans over to find out how the basketball team is doing come December yet again.

Well that escalated quickly. I guess Oklahoma wanted to prove they are still in the Big XII title race by making Kansas State their bitch on Saturday. 55-0? That’s insane. Not the 55. The zero part. Who the hell gets shutout in Big XII conference play anymore? And it wasn’t Kansas. It was Kansas STATE. I’m still shocked.

Ho hum, Bama wins again. That’s why I didn’t put it on the PVR. What was the point? I knew (like many did) that Bama would play well, then go into a lull giving the Aggies a false sense of a comeback, then pull away at the end. And that’s exactly what happened. They still have the best shot at winning the SEC West I believe.

Don’t be alarmed, but… Mike Leach has his Cougs at 4-2. Two more wins and they are bowl-eligible. Think about that.

It looked like a game of hot potato. I honestly don’t think Trent Domingue knew what the hell to do with the ball when he got it on the fake field goal. He just basically hot potatoed it for a bit and then ran for his ever-loving life. It will be something he remembers forever and could be huge if LSU somehow beats Bama and gets to the SEC Championship game.

Don’t be alarmed, but… Bob Davie has his New Mexico Lobos at 4-3. Two more wins and they are bowl-eligible. Think about that.

What is it with Missouri and shitty games? Have they not played enough of them to fill their yearly quota? A 9-6 loss to Georgia. Sounds like their game earlier this season against UConn. But at least now we can safely say that Missouri will not win the SEC East….unless absolute chaos happens.

Don’t be alarmed, but… One of the Flying Monken brothers has his Southern Miss squad at 4-3. Two more wins and they are bowl-eligible. Think about that.

OK, the NFL recap will be coming tomorrow as I piece together what happened and how shitty my ProLine ticket was this week (it doesn’t look too good). I didn’t win the lottery either. Otherwise this next post may never come to fruition. College football schedule for this coming week should be out by Wednesday but yet again I will wait until Thursday since I know this goes. Tomorrow night, for specialty pack viewers, some FunBelt action as UL-Lafayette goes to Jonesboro to face Arkansas State in what is essentially a Sun Belt Title elimination game.  Update: This game is actually on TSN2.

Week 6 NFL TV Schedule – Sponsored by the Punt Block Heard Round The Football World

You remember this? Of course you do.

Last night, the Saints finally put to rest the idea that the Falcons could go undefeated into their bye week (which would have put them at 9-0). Let’s be honest, the Falcons were one of the worst 5-0 teams ever. They have had to come back in almost every game this season. I’m not saying they are bad. They very well could end up anywhere from 9-7 to 11-5 and make the playoffs. But I am glad the Saints did beat them to stop this nonsense that the Falcons were the real deal.

Which brings us back to the title of this post. It seems fitting that a game that could turn around the Saints’ entire season was highlighted by a blocked punt/scoop n’ score by Michael Mauti. It evoked memories of the punt block by Steve Gleason back in 2006 which made the Superdome feel like they were in the middle of an earthquake with how crazy the fans were going. Considering what they went through with Hurricane Katrina it was a huge play. And guess who was in attendance at the game last night? The very same Steve Gleason. Was it fate? Probably. Let’s just leave it at that. But instead of just celebrating the play and moving on, Gleason went Bautista Bat Flip and double downed with a greasy tweet that became an instant classic. It simply said “Hey, Falcons. #NeverPunt.” Well done, Steve.

Alright, time for the NFL Sunday TV Schedule El Fantastico:

Sunday
1:00	Cincinnati at Buffalo	CBS (Golden Horseshoe, GTA, Peterborough, Kingston, Belleville, Cornwall, Quebec, Eastern Canada)/CTV (Ontario, Montreal, Atlantic)
1:00	Denver at Cleveland	CBS (BC, Alberta)/CTV (Vancouver, Alberta, Saskatchewan)
1:00	Chicago at Detroit	FOX (Western Ontario, K-W/Cambridge, Guelph, Ottawa-Gatineau)
1:00	Houston at Jacksonville	No TV
1:00	Kansas City at Minnesota	CBS (Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Northwestern Ontario)/CTV (Winnipeg)
1:00	Washington at NY Jets	FOX (Northern Ontario, Belleville, Cornwall, Quebec, Eastern Canada)/CTV2 (Vancouver Island, Alberta, Ontario, Atlantic)
1:00	Arizona at Pittsburgh	No TV
1:00	Miami at Tennessee	No TV
4:05	Carolina at Seattle	FOX (BC, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Northwestern Ontario, Golden Horseshoe, GTA, Peterborough, Kingston)/TSN1
4:25	San Diego at Green Bay	CBS (all of Canada (except BC)/CTV (Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Montreal)/CTV2 (Atlantic)
4:25	Baltimore at San Francisco	CTV (Vancouver)
8:30	New England at Indianapolis	NBC/TSN1/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5
Monday
8:30	NY Giants at Philadelphia	TSN1/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5

Hey, a lot better this week. Only three games not showing in this area but I will be honest…not getting Arizona-Pittsburgh in this area seems ridiculous. TSN couldn’t pick up this game? Arizona is a legit NFC contender and the Steelers have a huge Canadian fanbase. Sounds like someone dropped the ball there.

The games are very well spread out. Unfortunately for people who get their CBS out of Detroit, you get no early CBS game. Just like people who get CBS out of Seattle get no late CBS game. Kind of sucks but at least there are options this week (unlike some weeks earlier on in the season).

Not to worry though because for about 78% of the time, all NFL experts will be talking about New England travelling to Indianapolis and getting some so-called revenge I guess on the Colts? It is starting to sound like the Patriots will beat them on the scoreboard, beat them up on the field, break their bones, tear off their heads, and piss down their throats. Sometimes it just feels the NFL has to take an issue and make it 10000 times more newsworthy (at least to them) by talking about it ad nauseum. We get it. Deflategate and all that garbage. Can we please drop it? Please?

I am not affiliated with FanDuel or DraftKings

Or any other fantasy football site. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy fantasy football. Just not to the extent many are starting to “enjoy” it (and by enjoy I mean addicted to). I love The League but I am not going to recreate it like some creepy group of douche-bros who have nothing better to do (sex) than be fucking idiots about it.

Alright, enough of that. Here are my non-fantasy football, straight-up, old school NFL picks for this week:

Cincinnati over Buffalo

Denver over Cleveland

Detroit over Chicago

Jacksonville over Houston

Minnesota over Kansas City

NY Jets over Washington

Pittsburgh over Arizona

Miami over Tennessee

Seattle over Carolina

Green Bay over San Diego

Baltimore over San Francisco

New England over Indianapolis

Philadelphia over NY Giants

I hope everyone has a great weekend watching football. It’s going to be getting cooler in this area so it’s perfect weather for it. I have my kids this weekend so my PVR is going to be begging for mercy once this is over.

Week 7 College Football TV Schedule – Sponsored by The H B MF’n C

Yeah this guy. Even if you hated South Carolina (or Florida or Duke before that), you always respected the Head Ball Coach, Steve Spurrier. He brought so much to the game. On top of that, he coached for the Washington Redskins and didn’t lose his will to live. Talk about strength.

What a crazy week this was off the field. First, Spurrier retires…uh, I mean RESIGNS. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit to find him on the sidelines somewhere in the next year or two. Some program will cough up a LOT of money just to get him for a year or two and basically mentor the head-coach-in-waiting so that he’s ready for the job. Because that worked so well at Maryland and West Virginia. Then Will Grier gets suspended for an entire year for some sort of performance-enhancing drug. An entire year! Wow. To be honest I am surprised the NCAA doesn’t see more of this. Shows how good those few athletes who do this are at hiding their use. Finally, Steve Sarkisian gets shit-canned by carrier pigeon or something like that. Let’s be honest here: I don’t care how he was informed, he was FUCKING DRUNK AT WORK! He has a problem. I totally get that. But he has to get help for that problem before he can ever coach again. Alcoholism is no laughing matter and he will never not be an alcoholic the rest of this life. He will only be “on the wagon.” I sincerely hope he does figure things out because he was a good coach. Now the question comes, who will replace him (and who will replace the HBC at the other USC)? Crazy times. And that’s off the field.

Now to on the field action and the college football TV schedule this week and they’re doing it again. Again, both Rogers and Bell don’t have their schedules ready for their respective specialty packs. Why? WHY? It should be done by now. This isn’t rocket science. This isn’t even grade 7 science. It’s simple scheduling with all the blocks in place. So, so frustrating.

Alright let’s start with the cable schedule which at least is set at this point:

			ROGERS	FIBE	SATELLITE
Auburn at Kentucky (Thu)	7:00 PM	TSN1/TSN4	X	X	X
Western Kentucky at North Texas (Thu)	7:30 PM	CBSSN	X	X
UCLA at Stanford (Thu)	10:30 PM	TSN1/TSN4	X	X	X
Boise State at Utah State (Fri)	9:00 PM	CBSSN	X	X
Iowa at Northwestern	12:00 PM	ABC/TSN3	X	X	X
Western Michigan at Ohio	12:00 PM	MyTV	X	X
Purdue at Wisconsin	12:00 PM	BTN	X
Bucknell at Army	12:00 PM	CBSSN	X	X
Louisville at Florida State	12:00 PM	TSN2	X	X	X
West Virginia at Baylor	12:00 PM	FOX	X	X	X
Pittsburgh at Georgia Tech	12:30 PM	WSBK	X	X	X
Oklahoma at Kansas State	3:30 PM	ABC/TSN3	X	X	X
Villanova at Albany	3:30 PM	MyTV	X	X
Rutgers at Indiana	3:30 PM	BTN	X
Alabama at Texas A&M	3:30 PM	CBS	X	X	X
Air Force at Colorado State	3:30 PM	CBSSN	X	X
UCF at Temple	7:30 PM	CBSSN	X	X
USC at Notre Dame	7:30 PM	NBC	X	X	X
Penn State at Ohio State	8:00 PM	ABC	X	X	X

Wow I have seen a few message boards with some people who are some kind of pissed off. Michigan State-Michigan, which for some people in the area is the game of the year so far, is not being shown on cable. This weekend is the rare occasion where the ABC-ESPN2 reverse mirror happens for the noon game and not the 3:30 game. Hell, to have a noon game is rare as it is on ABC. Even more rare? A noon game on FOX. Then again, it’s baseball playoffs time (GO JAYS!) so FOX will spend the next three weeks busting their nut over baseball (and rightfully so). Anyway, back to the Battle for Michigan…people are upset. I am surprised they didn’t run a reverse mirror for the 3:30 game instead of the noon game because I will be honest, I would much prefer to see MSU-UM than OU-KSU. Especially since I have to set my PVR.

Speaking of setting my PVR, let’s look at the shitshow that is the specialty pack schedule:

		ROGERS	FIBE	SATELLITE
Alabama State at Arkansas-Pine Bluff (Thu)	7:30 PM	X	X	X
Cincinnati at BYU (Fri)	8:00 PM	X	X	X
Houston at Tulane (Fri)	9:00 PM	X	X	X
UNLV at Fresno State (Fri)	10:30 PM	X	X	X
Ole Miss at Memphis*	12:00 PM	X	X	X
USF at Connecticut	12:00 PM	X	X	X
Louisiana Tech at Mississippi State	12:00 PM		X	X
Pittsburgh at Georgia Tech	12:30 PM	X	X	X
Michigan State at Michigan	3:30 PM	X	X	X
Nebraska at Minnesota	3:30 PM	X	X	X
Virginia Tech at Miami	3:30 PM	X	X	X
Syracuse at Virginia	3:30 PM	X	X	X
Vanderbilt at South Carolina	4:00 PM		X	X
Florida at LSU	7:00 PM	X	X	X
TCU at Iowa State	7:00 PM	X	X	X
Boston College at Clemson	7:00 PM	X	X	X
Wake Forest at North Carolina	7:00 PM	X	X	X
Missouri at Georgia	7:30 PM		X	X
Arizona State at Utah	10:00 PM	X	X	X
Oregon at Washington	10:30 PM	X	X	X
San Diego State at San Jose State	10:30 PM	X	X	X

Yes, all those asterisks are games that have not been included on the guide yet. Why this is the case I do not know. It should be pretty easy by now. Anyway, those games will eventually make it there. It could be Saturday morning before this happens but rest assured they will be there. Update: All asterisked games now appearing on the guide, except for Ole Miss-Memphis, which is still not showing up for some reason.  Hopefully this appears in the morning.  And just so everyone knows, I think this is a record for amount of games shown between cable and the specialty pack. If you combine the two (and include the Arkansas State-South Alabama game from two nights ago), Rogers is showing 38 games this week, Fibe has 39, and Satellite has 32. If it isn’t a record, it’s damn close.

Important? Yeah I’d say so. Games o’ the Week!

Florida at LSU (7:00, specialty pack) – Sorry, Michigan and Michigan State football fans. This is the game of the week. Not by much but it is. It has been made even more intriguing by the fact that Will Grier is now out and Treon Harris has to start. If Jim Bob McElwain somehow wills his Gators to victory, he is the coach of the year. Case closed. They also may have pretty much clinched the SEC East before Halloween if they do. For LSU, they need to keep winning so their game against Bama will be another epic, ESPN has to spend 47 hours going over it, division-deciding, jet-flying, stylin and profilin game.

Michigan State at Michigan (3:30, specialty pack) – The hype surrounding this game is huge and rightfully so. This is the first statement game (sorry Northwestern) of the Jim Harbaugh era. Win this and he becomes an instant legend. This is also a statement game for Mark D’Antonio. The last thing he wants is to be passed in the Big Ten East pecking order by those jerks to the east.

Alabama at Texas A&M (3:30, CBS) – This is why staggered start times should start to become a bigger thing in college football. CBS shows one (maybe two) games a week. There is no reason they have to start at 3:30. If they began the game at 3:00, they would get a lot more eyeballs stolen from the MSU-UM game on at the same time. Anyway, the Aggies get a chance to show they are for real and Bama will get a chance to show that they are still the lords and masters of the SEC West until further notice.

UCLA at Stanford (Thursday, 10:30, TSN1/TSN4) – A big non-Saturday game. That’s nice. What’s even nicer? It’s on TSN. I know TSN is owned by Bell but TSN itself has really stepped up its college football broadcasting game. Two years ago, there is almost no way this game gets to TSN. It’s good to see. Stanford now seems to be the favourite in the Pac-12 North but that all comes crashing down if UCLA and The Rosen One pull one out (after looking terrible against Arizona State).

Iowa at Northwestern (Noon, ABC/TSN3) – The one thing that TSN still does sometimes is take an ABC game and broadcast it on one of the TSN Five. I get that the reverse mirror puts a crimp in the plans sometimes but it still bugs me. Anyway, if we are heading towards an Iowa-Michigan mega-ratings Big Ten Championship of Insanity, the Hawkeyes need to win here convincingly. Northwestern has to show that they aren’t headed toward the Heart of Dallas Bowl (or seem equally shitty bowl game).

Ole Miss at Memphis (Noon, specialty pack) – This is Memphis’ chance to move into that Group of Five spot in the New Year’s Six. This would be a huge statement win for Justin Fuente…right before he possibly accepts the South Carolina job. And this is no cupcake for the Rebels. Ole Miss could drop like a stone in the polls if they lose badly (which is entirely possible).

No it’s not DraftKings or FanDuel. It’s not exactly legit though.

Here are my picks for the week. Straight up. No gambling lines here because this isn’t a gambling page and I am sure at least one person who reads this spends more than $50 a week easy on ProLine.

LSU over Florida

Michigan over Michigan State

Alabama over Texas A&M

Stanford over UCLA

Iowa over Northwestern

Memphis over Ole Miss (upset of the week)

Baylor over West Virginia

Kansas State over Oklahoma (mini-upset)

Clemson over Boston College

Notre Dame over USC

Candidates for either USC job

You know, other than me. But I’m busy.

To be honest, many believe that other Power Five coaches will move over to either USC or South Carolina. I am not so sure. They may, but I believe they move way down the list in terms of possibility.

1. Tom Herman, Houston – He was the mastermind behind the Ohio State offense last season.  He has continued doing amazing things at Houston this season.  When was the last time this guy lost a game?  It would be the Virginia Tech game last season.  Either program would take this guy.
2. Justin Fuente, Memphis – He has completely turned around a Memphis program that was, to be perfectly honest, pretty damn bad.  They are now one win away over Ole Miss from climbing into the driver’s seat for the Go5 spot at the NYS table.  I think he would work better in South Carolina than USC, but again, if they had a chance, both teams try to grab him.
3. Mark Hudspeth, UL-Lafayette – I am shocked this guy isn’t farther up most people’s lists.  This is the kind of guy that would work wonders at either school but would be a better fit at South Carolina.  Plus, I’m sure most of the recruits and current players would be scared of the guy.  He’s a beast.
4. Kyle Whittingham, Utah – This is an interesting one.  A lot of this depends on how well Utah does this season.  If the Utes end up in the top ten at the end of the season, I could see Whittingham saying he’s done all he can in SLC and moving on to LA.
5. Ed Orgeron, LSU – Yes he’s not the head coach at LSU but he has one of the best defensive minds in the game.  I don’t know if he should be a head coach ever again.  Some guys are just meant to be awesome coordinators.  I think he’s one.  He could fit in either job.  Tbh, I don’t think he’d go back to USC.
6. Jon Gruden, Monday Night Football – Of course no head coaching vacancy list can happen without the Grud-ster on it.  This is one time, I believe, where he will not be one of the top candidates.  I think he’d love to go to USC but there are a few other better options at this point.  Sorry, Jon.  Just wait for that Detroit Lions opening and take that when it happens.
7. Chip Kelly, Philadelphia – One bad month, and the people of Philly want this guy’s head.  They need to calm down.  Two 10-win seasons should give him some leeway, despite the fact he looks like he never gives a shit about what’s going on and just does what he wants to do.  Which might make him the perfect fit for USC.
8. Jeff Fisher, St. Louis – I could see Fisher wanting to take either job, just to get out of moving with the team to Los Angeles.  Would be interesting to see him in the college game.
9. Chris Petersen, Washington – This seems too obvious.  I am sure Petersen was interviewed for the USC job before Sark got it in the first place.  He could do wonders for the Trojans but he has struggled a bit with Washington so far so who knows at this point.
10. Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern – Every year, many consider him a great up-and-coming coach or a guy who needs to be fired.  Nothing in between.  This year it has been rainbows and unicorns in Evanston for Fitzy.  He would be a great get for the Gamecocks and it may be time for him to move on after many years in Northwestern.

Alright, tomorrow I will post the NFL schedule. Looking forward to a great weekend of college football despite the fact I will be assaulting my PVR like never before.

Week 5 Short NFL Recap – Sponsored by Ryan Mallett going to get hot dogs, nachos, and popcorn for everybody!

Hey he might as well have. The guy plays terrible (as I outlined in my NFL schedule post) and gets pissy when he’s taken out of the game? Please. Either go try out for the CFL or stop pouting and play better next time.

I will be honest, I was watching but not watching football for the better part of Sunday (and Monday night). Part of watching college football for the better part of 14 hours on Saturday means I got sweet fuck all done on Saturday. This carries over to Sunday where, thanks to Thanksgiving, I have to cram in a workout and grocery shopping along with all the other things I had to during the day. My kids were coming Monday morning and I didn’t want to be doing work around the house all day so that they could stay inside. I know, excuses, excuses. I don’t give a shit. So most of this is from watching highlights and listening to talking heads talk like they know what’s going on. Sound good? OK, let’s proceed.

Buffalo is fun to watch! I’ve said it before and I will say it again…the Bills are a fun team to watch. They barely made out with the win against a pretty shitty Titans team. And their fans continue to want to hurt each other (or grope each other). Fun times. And no, Tyrod Taylor isn’t there yet but the way he has played this season would put him in the top half of starting QBs in the league easy.

The Bengals are legit! Redheaded stepchild Andy Dalton has somehow steered the Bengals ship to a perfect 5-0 start. Guaranteed there are still people out there that would say “Hurr Durr, but dey arnt da Patriotz, duh” and that’s fine but at some point people are going to have to say the Bengals would be a tough out in the playoffs.

The Falcons…that’s a different story. They look good in spurts. But no way should they have even had to go to OT against a terrible Redskins organization (not just team). They’ll win the NFC South or grab a Wild Card spot because the Saints and Bucs are really bad.

So the Bears aren’t the worst. We have to give that title to the Chiefs. Man they look awful. They break that ridiculous streak and still can’t look good. Maybe Andy Reid wants to coach at USC.

Or maybe it’s Baltimore. They haven’t looked good. They’ve kept in games but still. At some point they should have come out on top more than once. Maybe John Harbaugh wants to coach at USC.

No, it’s Detroit. How could I forget about the Lions? Geez they are terrible. Matthew Stafford is being exposed as pretty terrible now. I mean you have to be able to throw the ball to Megatron to use him properly.

And again the late games are full of disappointment. I don’t know how this phenomenon is occurring since the NFL can’t control this. But the 4:00 (or 4:05 or 4:25 or whatever) games have, for the most part, been disappointing. I guess this is what happens when you have, at most, 4 games on at that time and many more on earlier in the day.

At least the Sunday and Monday nighters were exciting. Two games between mediocre teams ended up being VERY exciting for the fans. Kind of feel bad for the Niners since they were close there but they need to start thinking about who they will be picking for their high draft choice (a quarterback…draft a quarterback) in the spring.

There we go. Short and sweet and to the point. College football schedule coming out tomorrow with the NFL one on Friday (although 60% of the time, the NFL schedule is out before the college schedule 100% of the time).