Oh man, here we go again

It felt like things were calm. We were all lulled into this. It was just the eye of the storm. Sure the wind wasn’t moving but about 200 metres away, a cow just went flying headlong into a barn.

What am I talking about? Realignment, of course! Another shoe has dropped…OK let me use a different analogy. Sorry Deion. We have another big move as Colorado will be going back to the Big XII starting next season. And that probably won’t be all. The rumours have at least one of Arizona, Arizona State, Utah, Oregon or Washington following the Buffaloes. Or, if no other schools leave the Pac-12, the Big XII is more than willing to dip into the American Conference (hello SMU, Memphis, Tulane) or even way out east…yes, UConn! And maybe once the Pac-12 (or more like Pac-9) gets their act together, they can start bringing in teams from the Group of Five. The same teams from the American would be in play, especially SMU. Also, the Mountain West would be watching closely as San Diego State, Boise State and perhaps Colorado State and UNLV could be looked at. There will be a lot of meetings in the next month or so to determine where this all leads.

For now let’s focus on what this post was supposed to be (and still will be). It’s time for the Power Five conference predictions. This will give a better indication on how I think things will go during this season. So let’s dive right in!

Changes are coming soon for the Ess Ee Cee. Texas and Oklahoma join the conference next season. Also, no more SEC on CBS after this year. Everything moves to ABC and ESPN. And finally, no divisions. Halle-fucking-lujah.

As for this year, all the talk is about Georgia and doing something no team has done (fully) in the AP Poll era: win three national championships in a row. It’s not like they will fall apart, despite the fact they lost their starting quarterback and a bunch of other players in the NFL Draft. Then again, I’m sure Kirby Smart has looked them all dead in the eye and told them “Everyone thinks you are going to go 5-7 and lose to Vanderbilt. Prove them wrong!” And they will believe it because college football head coaches are just a notch-and-a-half below cult leaders in the pecking order of how much they can make their “followers” drink their Kool-Aid.

Remember, though, there are other teams in the conference as well. Like those lovable underdogs from Tuscaloosa, Alabama, and the team that just reeks of success (in the classroom and on the baseball diamond), Vanderbilt. And eleven other teams. Want to find out how I think they will do? OK. I will do that. Just for you.

		Conference		Overall
	East	W	L	W	L
	Georgia	7	1	11	1
	Tennessee	6	2	10	2
	South Carolina	5	3	8	4
	Kentucky	3	5	6	6
	Missouri	2	6	5	7
	Florida	2	6	5	7
	Vanderbilt	1	7	4	8
	West
	Alabama	8	0	12	0
	LSU	6	2	9	3
	Ole Miss	4	4	8	4
	Texas A&M	4	4	8	4
	Arkansas	3	5	7	5
	Auburn	3	5	7	5
	Mississippi State	2	6	6	6

Just For You

• You might think I am crazy for having UGA not run the table. I do think they will lose a regular season game and it will be to those upstart Tennessee Volunteers. It won’t keep them from winning the division though as you can see I have those same Vols losing two conference games during the regular season.
• As for the SEC West, though, Bama will once again rule the roost….as long as they figure out their quarterback situation. I am thinking they will and will go undefeated and be #1 in the nation going into conference championship weekend. If they don’t get their QB situation settled…well, maybe they lose two games? Three? It’s not like they will fall to 6-6.
• I could see South Carolina or last year’s SEC West champs, LSU, making a bit of a run this time around. They have the top two quarterbacks in the SEC and could each put up piles of points. Watch for the Cocks’ game against Georgia early on in the season and LSU’s post-Halloween trip to Bryant-Denny to face the Tide. Upsets in either of those games will seriously upset the apple cart.
• Look, the Gators were barely .500 with who I think may be one of the most overhyped quarterbacks in recent memory. I don’t think Anthony Richardson was that great. And now they don’t even have him. Unless every other part of the roster improved (it didn’t), how do people expect this team to bounce back and all of a sudden become an eight or nine win team? Spoiler alert: they won’t.
• I have Mississippi State at 6-6. They will do just enough to get a bowl game. I wonder how tough it will be after the loss of Mike Leach but I can see them straightening things out just in time late in the season.
• As for the SEC Championship, SURPRISE! I have the Dawgs beating the Tide and creating a massive clusterfuck in the final College Football Playoff rankings. Fun times!
• Eleven bowl teams from the SEC with two juuuuuust on the outside. That’s insane and I don’t think I will be that far off with this prediction. Next year could be even crazier with Texas and Oklahoma joining the conference that just means more.

Man have things really changed in terms of where you will see Big Ten games this season. Gone are ABC and ESPN. In is NBC and CBS. This is gonna feel weird the first time I see it. And maybe the next few times as well. I will get used to it at some point. Now if you want the opportunity to watch every Big Ten game, better find a way to get FOX Sports One and Peacock otherwise you will be shit out of luck to watch potential bangers like Northwestern-Purdue and Indiana-Rutgers (if they end up there and not the Big Ten Network).

Alright, let’s get into the final conference predictions before the B1G gives a big Fuck You to geography and brings in USC and UCLA.

		Conference		Overall
	East	W	L	W	L
	Michigan	8	1	11	1
	Penn State	8	1	11	1
	Ohio State	8	1	10	2
	Michigan State	5	4	7	5
	Maryland	5	4	8	4
	Indiana	1	8	3	9
	Rutgers	1	8	4	8
	West
	Minnesota	6	3	8	4
	Wisconsin	6	3	9	3
	Iowa	6	3	9	3
	Illinois	5	4	7	5
	Nebraska	2	7	5	7
	Purdue	2	7	5	7
	Northwestern	0	9	2	10

Geogpraphy, Go Eat a Dick

• Look, I know some might look at the Big Ten East standings and think I am a bit crazy. I am not. Although that is what a crazy person would tell you. Yep, a three-way tie at the top at 8-1 between Big Blue, tOSU and PSU. Because each team will be 1-1 against the other two, the CFP Rankings will decide the winner. I believe the Wolverines will somehow win that. And yes, I think Ohio State also loses to Notre Dame. O-H! I-No.
• If Sparty doesn’t make it to a bowl game, they may end up giving Mel Tucker the Herm Edwards treatment and fire him before he can leave the playing surface one game. I get they have a tough division but they should be able to do well enough against the rest of their schedule to get back in the postseason after last year’s debacle.
• No, I don’t have Wisconsin winning the West division. Meaning I am different than almost every expert out there. Also, there’s the fact I’m not an expert but I digress. Again I have a damn three-way tie but no need to look at the rankings for this one as I believe the Gophers will Row the Fucking Boat all the way to Indianapolis after beating both Wisky and the high-octane Iowa Hawkeyes. See what I did there? Yeah, I don’t care that the Hawkeyes have a new quarterback in town. Until Kirk tells his son to do better, Iowa will be pushing for some 7-6 victories. Sorry. 8-6. Two field goals and a late safety to win.
• Nebraska will be better but I think the Huskers are a season away from getting back to the top of the West…just in time for the West to just not exist anymore.
• As for Northwestern…man. What a shitshow. Look, I played a lot of sports earlier in my life and did so at the university level. Are there fun little pranks and stupid things the rookies have to do? Sometimes. But it’s usually harmless. Carrying bags, standing up during a team dinner to get embarrassed by singing some Mariah Carey song, dumb things like that. Not getting fucking dry humped in some cultish fashion by weirdos in robes. What the fuck is wrong with that school? And yes, it’s not just the football program. Sounds like at least half the teams there have serious issues. Ugh.
• Now let’s get crazy. Yeah! The Big Ten Championship will…OK who am I kidding. It won’t be close. I have Michigan plowing through Minny to clinch their spot, yet again, in the College Football Playoff.

Might as well call this the Stable Conference…for now. Just nothing happening here which is just fine for most of the teams in the ACC. Status quo isn’t a bad thing. There are some changes with where you will see games. The CW…yes, the C-Fucking-W, will have an ACC game during most of the weeks of the season. You can take the ACC out of Jefferson-Pilot (or Raycom) but you can’t take the Jefferson-Pilot (or Raycom) out of the ACC. Or something like that.

So before this conference possibly gets pillaged by the Big Ten and SEC, let’s get to the predictions followed by some deep tissue massage and/or analysis.

		Conference		Overall
		W	L	W	L
	Clemson	8	0	12	10
	Florida State	7	1	11	1
	North Carolina	6	2	9	3
	Pittsburgh	5	3	8	4
	Louisville	5	3	8	4
	Duke	4	4	8	4
	Wake Forest	4	4	7	5
	NC State	4	4	7	5
	Miami	4	4	7	5
	Syracuse	3	5	6	6
	Boston College	2	6	5	7
	Virginia	2	6	4	8
	Georgia Tech	2	6	4	8
	Virginia Tech	0	8	1	11

Deep Tissue Massage and/or Analysis

• I should book a massage. My back is in horrible shape.
• Some may scoff at me having Clemson going undefeated this season. They have the schedule to do it and if Cade Klubnik is as good as he can be this could relatively easily happen. If Klubnik struggles…well then this entire set of standings might need to be scrubbed from existence.
• Reader Gord will like where I have Florida State. This team could be scary good. And at the very least, they will be near the top of the ACC standings this season. Mike Norvell has done a great job getting this team back to what it was like during the Jimbo Fisher days. I had my doubts about him but I have to admit he has been the right guy to right the ship in Tallahassee.
• Hey did you notice? NO DIVISIONS! I love it.
• Don’t be surprised that if Clemson or FSU stumbles that there are no shortage of teams that could get one of the two ACC title game slots. A list of seven teams could pull off a couple of upsets and be at the top and it wouldn’t be a huge surprise. A slight surprise sure. Maybe a slightly bigger surprise if it was Miami or NC State. But not a massive surprise.
• Poor Virginia Tech. I think this will be their worst team since before Frank Beamer graced Blacksburg. It feels like it has been forever since the Hokies were contenders. It was only seven years ago when they were in the ACC Championship and almost upset the eventual national champions, Clemson. This team is pretty bad in almost every aspect of the game and the schedule will not be helpful to them. Other than Old Dominion I don’t see them winning any other game and the Monarchs have given VT all sorts of fits the past few years.
• Look for a tiny bit of a bounce back from Virginia. Just them taking the field after what happened last year is a win in my books.
• For that ACC title game, how about another game that will turn everything on its head. Yep, I think the Noles will get revenge for a regular season loss by inching out the Tigers. Chaos!

OK it’s about time the Big XII rebrands. They will have at least thirteen teams by the time the 2024 season starts and it may be as high as sixteen. So change the fucking name. They have the rights to the Big Fourteen and Big Sixteen so use one of those. It would be easy. Find a graphic design student at Kansas and have them do a new logo. Easy peasy. Why do I have to come up with everything?

Where was I? Oh that’s right, predictions. Let’s see if this conference will go all Pac-12 and cannibalize itself or if they can see a team get to the CFP once again. Also, Texas and Oklahoma will be trying their best to leave the conference on a high note much to the chagrin of the rest of the schools in the conference. So here are the Big XII standings predictions, followed by Belly Expansions.

		Conference		Overall
		W	L	W	L
	Texas	8	1	10	2
	Kansas State	7	2	10	2
	Baylor	6	3	8	4
	TCU	6	3	9	3
	Oklahoma	6	3	9	3
	Texas Tech	5	4	8	4
	Oklahoma State	5	4	8	4
	Kansas	4	5	7	5
	UCF	4	5	7	5
	BYU	3	6	5	7
	Cincinnati	3	6	5	7
	Houston	2	7	4	8
	Iowa State	2	7	4	8
	West Virginia	2	7	3	9

Belly Expansions

• No I don’t mean pregnancy. I mean eating a big meal and having to loosen the ol’ belt or just unbuckle the pants altogether. Funny enough, people in the restaurant don’t appreciate that.
• Let’s start at the bottom. There won’t be one truly bad team. There will be a bunch of below-average ones. West Virginia, Iowa State, Houston, Cincinnati and BYU could all finish last and I am sure no one would bat an eye.
• I see the Longhorns making their final Big XII season a special one. They have the team, the schedule and the head coach (I think) to be the top team in this conference this season. The only question will be can Quinn Ewers hold off Arch Manning. Will one of them transfer in the offseason? Remember, when you have two starting quarterbacks, you have none. I think.
• How about this lukewarm take: Kansas State will be good again. Yeah really going out on a limb there Bossman. This team has become so steady-as-she-goes it’s almost boring. The people in the Little Apple are fine with this.
• I do think one of the newcomers will make a bowl game and that team will be UCF. I think they are the most prepared of the newbies coming into this conference. But make no mistake about it: all four teams will be good at various points over the next few years.
• I can’t see Oklahoma taking enough of a leap to get to the Big XII Championship. Nor do I think the Horned Frogs of TCU have the, uh, toads? to make it back to the conference title game. Good seasons for both, yes, but not great.
• The Longhorns should win the conference title game in their final season in the Big XII. Will this get them into the CFP or will it “relegate” them to the New Year’s Six? I think you can tell from my predictions so far but you will know for sure in a different post.

So where are we going to be able to watch Pac-12 games in the future? Who the hell knows. My money is on PBS.

But seriously, the Pac-12 is quickly dropping from the Conference of Champions to almost a Group of Five conference. They are losing USC and UCLA next year to the Big Ten. They knew that already. The bombshell of Colorado leaving now has them at nine teams starting the 2024 season. And it may not end there. The only schools I haven’t heard potentially leaving are Oregon State and Washington State. That’s not to say all these rumours will be correct but I will be pretty surprised if no more teams leave for the Big XII before next season. It’s sad for a conference that really started their slide once Pete Carroll left USC for the NFL. Thanks a bunch, Peter.

Prediction time! No divisions which is one thing they are ahead of the game with, starting that last year. Let’s get to those divisionless predictions followed by some California Nightmarin’.

		Conference		Overall
		W	L	W	L
	USC	8	1	10	2
	Utah	7	2	9	3
	Oregon	7	2	9	3
	Oregon State	7	2	10	2
	Washington State	6	3	8	4
	Washington	6	3	9	3
	UCLA	5	4	8	4
	Colorado	3	6	4	8
	California	2	7	4	8
	Arizona	2	7	4	8
	Arizona State	1	8	3	9
	Stanford	0	9	2	10

California Nightmarin’

• No state will have it better this year in the Pac-12 than the state of Oregon. Both the Ducks and the Beavers look to be serious contenders and only need the ball to bounce their way one extra time to maybe get to the Pac-12 Championship. And considering the way that title game has gone, who knows what may happen after that.
• The strongest team, though, should be USC. They have Caleb Williams coming back to try and do what no one other than some guy named Archie has ever done, and that’s win two Heisman Trophies. The hope there is that the sting of the two season-ending losses will motivate them to push themselves that final step into the CFP.
• OK look, I know you see Washington in sixth place and you are wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. This is another case where the schedule is just flat-out against them. A slightly easier schedule and I might put this team at eleven or even, dare I say it, twelve wins. It will be that close at the top of the conference.
• On the other hand, I am sure no will think I’m crazy for putting Stanford in last place. It’s been a long time since the Cardinal have been this bad and it doesn’t look like they will be ready for bowl action for another year at least.
• I think I was fair putting Colorado at 4-8 for this season and playing fairly meaningful football going into November. There seems to be two schools of thought with this team. One section thinks Coach Prime has done wonders and with all the fresh faces in the lineup it will push the team over the line and into bowl-eligibility territory. The other section thinks the entire program is overhyped and they will win maybe two games. I am in the middle on this. This team won’t go bowling this year. That would be too much of a leap. But they should win more games than they did last year. If not, what the hell was all this hoopla for?
• As for the Pac-12 title game, USC gets the Pac-12 Championship they probably should have won last year. Problem is that by this point there will be a lot of teams in the mix for those four College Football Playoff spots and in typical Pac-12 fashion, the league will have cannabilized itself again and missed out on the CFP again.

There you go! You now have a complete set of Bossman conference predictions. Next up, is kind of the wrap-up post where I put everything in a nice, neat little ball and let you know who I believe will win the whole damn deal. Have a great week everyone!

Injuries, Injuries, Injuries…and the Week 7 College Football TV Schedule

It happens every year. Some of the best college players get injured and teams have to go without them for a game up to an entire season. Here’s a short list of just some of the players who have gone down to injury so far this season:

• Bryce Young (Alabama) – Injured his shoulder this past Saturday and is questionable for the most important game of the year so far (vs. Tennessee).
• Zach Calzada (Auburn) – A shoulder injury against Missouri has knocked Calzada out for the rest of the season.
• Charlie Brewer (Liberty) – Had issues with his thumb in their opener against Southern Miss and has had surgery to repair it. Could be back in a couple weeks.
• Cade McNamara (Michigan) – A leg injury could have McNamara out for the season.
• Chris Autman-Bell (Minnesota) – All that is known is that he had a lower-body injury that he sustained in the Gophers’ victory over Colorado that will sideline him for the rest of the season.
• Tyler Buchner (Notre Dame) – The man who was supposed to start for the Irish has been knocked out for the season with a joint sprain in his shoulder.
• Cedric Tillman (Tennessee) – The Vols wide receiver might return before the end of October if his ankle is strong enough.

Hell it’s got to the point that injuries are being reported that the players are denying. There was a report that Kansas quarterback Jalon Daniels would be out for the season with a shoulder injury: a report that Daniels thought was interesting and news to him. He’s still doubtful for the Jayhawks’ next game but he is disputing that he would be done for the season.

Also, there are some teams that are suffering because of the sheer amount of injuries. Want to know why Wisconsin might not be as good as had been advertised? Currently they have seventeen players out with injuries. Seventeen. Good god.

Part of the point of all this is to say football is a contact sport. Players will get hurt. So for the powers that be to essentially want to add games to the schedule makes the season more of a war of attrition than anything. Until North Dakota State started their run of FCS championships, that’s what the FCS playoffs was. The healthiest team won and they were almost never the best (or second-best or third-best or fourth-best, etc.) team going in. And we know what college football media can be like. They will be all over the injury angle if, say, the top three teams in an expanded College Football Playoff don’t win it all because of injuries to important players. It’ll happen. You just watch.

OK that was enough of a rant. Time for what you came here for. Some hot college football schedule action. Or more like slightly warm since the weather has started to change.

Wednesday

		US	Canada
Louisiana at Marshall	7:30 PM

Hey, we have our first instance of Fun Belt football this season! I figured both of these teams would be better than they have been so far. Marshall is trying to make a name for itself in its first season in the Sun Belt, whereas Louisiana is trying their hardest to get back to the Sun Belt Championship for a fourth consecutive time.

Thursday

		US	Canada
Temple at UCF	7:00 PM
Baylor at West Virginia	7:00 PM

Neither of these games should be close; however, we know what Thursday Night Football has been like so far this season so pick your poison.

Friday

		US	Canada
Brown at Princeton	7:00 PM
Navy at SMU	7:30 PM
UTSA at FIU	8:00 PM

Woof. This is….technically a schedule with three football games on it. Hopefully one of them is close.

Saturday Early

		US	Canada
Iowa State at #22 Texas	Noon
Minnesota at #24 Illinois	Noon
Colgate at Army	Noon
Auburn at #9 Ole Miss	Noon
#19 Kansas at Oklahoma	Noon
Old Dominion at Coastal Carolina	Noon
#10 Penn State at #5 Michigan	Noon

Alright now this is what I’m talking about. If there was a ever a need for a college football-style RedZone channel, this would be the week for it. The sheer amount of good-to-great games this week is staggering. And it starts here with PSU-Michigan in a massive Big Ten East game. Kansas gets to prove that they really are for real this season against an average Sooners team. And how about Coastal Carolina? It may be the first of a bunch of national games for them if they keep winning.

Saturday Afternoon

		US	Canada
California at Colorado	2:00 PM
#8 Oklahoma State at #13 TCU	3:30 PM
#15 NC State at #18 Syracuse	3:30 PM
#3 Alabama at #6 Tennessee	3:30 PM
Ohio at Western Michigan	3:30 PM
Arkansas at BYU	3:30 PM
Maryland at Indiana	3:30 PM
Vanderbilt at #1 Georgia	3:30 PM
Tulane at USF	4:00 PM
Wisconsin at Michigan State	4:00 PM
Arizona at Washington	5:30 PM

Great early schedule is followed by an even better afternoon schedule, if you can believe it. I guess you could say the highlight is Bama-UT but you also have the Pokes and Horned Frogs as well. Undefeated teams falling everywhere by force! The fact that NC State-Syracuse is on the ACC Network has made no one bat an eye. Normally, people would be a bit outraged by this. But there’s nothing you can do about it. That’s how good this schedule is in this timeslot. Oh and Vandy-UGA might be essentially over by 4:15 if you are a sadist.

Saturday Primetime

		US	Canada
Utah State at Colorado State	7:00 PM
LSU at Florida	7:00 PM
ULM at South Alabama	7:00 PM
#4 Clemson at Florida State	7:30 PM
Nebraska at Purdue	7:30 PM
Memphis at East Carolina	7:30 PM
Stanford at Notre Dame	7:30 PM
#16 Mississippi State at #22 Kentucky	7:30 PM
North Carolina at Duke	8:00 PM
#7 USC at #20 Utah	8:00 PM

And then we have yet another huge game. The Trojans get a huge test heading to Utah. Win this and they might be headed for a Victory Bell showdown with UCLA that has CFP implications. Maybe Florida State can prove something against Clemson and upset the ACC apple cart while doing it.

One game I am looking forward to is the battle for first place in the Big Ten West between…Nebraska and Purdue? Yep! Oh my. Oh and who thought putting Stanford and Notre Dame in primetime was a good idea?

Saturday Late Night

		US	Canada
Washington State at Oregon State	9:00 PM
Air Force at UNLV	10:30 PM

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd the week ends with a thud. I guess there’s always a Hawaii Test if you feel the need to stay up extremely late.

Big Games O’ The Week

Alabama at Tennessee (3:30, CBS) – So many games could be the Game of the Week but I went with this one mostly because the Vols are really good and if Bryce Young doesn’t end up playing, this is ripe for a huge upset. If you had said at the start of the season that there was even a possibility of an undefeated Georgia having to beat an undefeated Tennessee to win the SEC East I would have laughed. Well, who’s laughing now? Uh…not me, I guess. Bama doesn’t want to lose because it brings all the teams that are essentially eliminated in the SEC West back into play along with Ole Miss who is nipping at their heels. Huge stakes.

Penn State at Michigan (Noon, FOX) – Let’s call it 1B to Bama-Tennessee’s 1A. Or more like 1E because it is a bit down the list from that game. Luckily it’s in the Big Noon Saturday spot…or more like Big Blue Saturday. Seriously, what is FOX’s deal with Michigan? They in love or something? Anyway, winner faces Ohio State for the Big Ten East title. Loser, though, is still not out of the race for, well, anything really.

Oklahoma State at TCU (3:30, ABC/TSN2) – I am praying for people who have to rely on their PVR this weekend. Decisions, decisions. Who would have thought there would be three games between undefeated teams this week. Nobody. Especially this game. Realistically, this could end up being a Big XII Championship preview if things shake out right for both teams. Either way, big New Year’s Six implications with this one.

USC at Utah (8:00, FOX) – For the first time in quite a while, USC is in a game that truly matters. The Utes are used to these kinds of games now and the MUSS is no joke for visiting teams. The Trojans can continue to drive a final stake in the Pac-12 heart with a win here. Poor Conference of Champions.

NC State at Syracuse (3:30, specialty pack) – The Wolfpack’s only loss is to Clemson and the Orange have made it through the first part of their schedule unscathed. The winner here still has a shot at usurping Clemson at the top of the ACC Atlantic, especially Syracuse. I don’t know if either team is ready for College Football Playoff conversation but it will be there for the winner.

Mississippi State at Kentucky (7:30, specialty pack) – The Wildcats have stumbled a bit since their hot start while MSU is soaring under Mike Leach as Will Rogers throws the ball like fifty times a game. At some point Rogers’ arm will fall clean off but until then, Leach will ride him as the captain of the offense. If the Bulldogs can win this one, is a New Year’s Six spot in their future? They will be in the conversation for sure.

Minnesota at Illinois (Noon, Big Ten Network) – The Illini in the Games of the Week list? Wow, this year has been crazy but this might be over the top. A win here and Bert’s Boys would be the odds-on favourite to win the Big Ten West and get absolutely slaughtered by whoever wins the Big Ten East. Fun times. I can’t wait for divisions to be abolished for good.

Clemson at Florida State (7:30, ABC/TSN2) – Holy crap we’re still going with this. So many good games. Now, to be honest, this might not be as good as the rest on this list but if the Noles decide to show up and cause problems, you never know. This could cause the greatest earthquake in the rankings if FSU pulls off the upset.

Psycho Game of the Week

California at Colorado (2:00, Pac-12 Network) – Good lord, why would you torture yourself with this? I mean with this game you have to put forth more effort to even watch it. This is definitely for psychos.

Hubba Bubba Blowout of the Week

UTSA at FIU (Friday, 8:00, CBS Sports Network) – Most would put Vandy-Georgia in this spot but may I present to you this affair. UTSA is a good Group of Five team. FIU, despite winning two games this season, is not a good team. At all. The Roadrunners will make the Golden Panthers look like then Wile E. Coyotes in this one.

Fun-Time Stats of the Week

• Nick Saban is 15-0 vs. Tennessee.
• Mack Brown has won 11 straight Victory Bells over Duke during his two stints at North Carolina.
• Oklahoma has won 17 straight games over Kansas but has failed to cover the spread in three of the last four meetings.

The Degenerate Portion of Our Show

Oh god I picked Oklahoma last week to win. OK let’s just get going on this week’s picks. I can’t believe I did that.

• Baylor (-3.5) over West Virginia
• Coastal Carolina (-12) over Old Dominion
• Michigan (-7) over Penn State
• Ole Miss (-14.5) over Auburn
• Maryland (-11.5) over Indiana
• BYU (+1.5) over Arkansas (and the outright victory)
• Michigan State (+7.5) over Wisconsin (and the upset!)
• Washington (-14) over Arizona
• ULM (+17) over South Alabama (but the Jaguars will win a close one)
• Kentucky (+4) over Mississippi State (and the win!)
• Nebraska (+14) over Purdue (but the Boilermakers will win the game)
• North Carolina (-7) over Duke
• UNLV (+10) over Air Force (the Falcons will grind this one out but it won’t be easy)

We are finally into true mid-week college football! And this is shaping up to be a monster week, one that could shape the rest of the season. Enjoy the games everyone!

Power Five….Power Four? Power THREE?

Really, who knows what we are looking at in the next few years. For sure, the two conferences on the left are the major players. I would be very shocked if neither conference went to 18 teams by 2025. As for the other three conferences, it’s a big game of conference chicken right now. I would say the Big XII has the slight upper hand at this point but that could change in an instant. So if you love realignment, ho boy, you must have a raging hard-on right now (and will for the next few years).

OK enough of that disgusting talk. Let’s get to the meat of this post. The Power Five conference predictions. All of them. Don’t lie, you liked all the Group of Five conference (and Independent) predictions in the last post, DIDN’T YOU? So one more time, I will cram as much information down your gullet I possibly can without choking you to death with college football information. Let’s begin.

Let’s start with the….well I can’t call them the undisputed king of conferences anymore because the Big Ten is making a big charge at them. Saying that, I can still call them #1…for now. Here are the predicted SEC standings followed by some grits and chitlins and other weird Southern “delicacies.”

		Conference		Overall
	East	W	L	W	L
	Georgia	8	0	12	0
	Tennessee	5	3	9	3
	Florida	5	3	8	4
	Kentucky	3	5	7	5
	South Carolina	3	5	6	6
	Missouri	1	7	4	8
	Vanderbilt	0	8	2	10
	West
	Alabama	8	0	12	0
	Texas A&M	7	1	11	1
	Ole Miss	4	4	8	4
	Arkansas	4	4	7	5
	Auburn	3	5	7	5
	LSU	3	5	7	5
	Mississippi State	2	6	6	6

Chitlins…GROSS!

• Who the fuck figured out to eat the large intestine of a hog?
• Yep, two undefeated teams coming from the SEC.  Bama and UGA don’t play each other during the regular season.  UGA has a relatively easy schedule (in an SEC sense).  Yes they have Oregon in a neutral-site game to start the season but they avoid the Tide, Aggies and Ole Miss out of the West.  Lucky Dawgs!
• As for the Fighting Nick Sabans, damn near everyone has them running the table, at least during the regular season, and I am going right along with that prediction.  Other than their matchup against TAMU (at home) and Ole Miss in Oxford, I can’t foresee any close games all season.
• As for the Aggies and their weird traditions (just watch a Midnight Yell practice…it’s fucking bizarre), I see them ending up one game short of getting to the SEC Championship.  Also one game short of the College Football Playoff.  Critics of Jimbo Fisher will find a way to make this sound like a failure of a season if they do comfortably make it to the New Year’s Six.
• As per usual, the SEC West is an absolute minefield.  The worst team is Mississippi State and they wouldn’t be last in any other conference…not by a long shot.  Unfortunately, Bama’s continued dominance and TAMU and Ole Miss not falling at all will mean the rest of the teams are playing for fourth.
• The Tennessee Volunteers are my Drinking The Kool-Aid pick of the year.  I’m buying that they will be improved enough to be on the precipice of a double-digit win season.  I can see them beating Pitt and South Carolina on the road and being perfect at home.  Now watch them go 5-7 and make me look like a dummy.
• Conference Championship prediction: Alabama 38 Georgia 30.  Closer than last year’s win by the Tide but still not enough for UGA.

When are they going to change the name of this conference? Just call it the BIG Conference now or something like that. Big Ten. For a conference with sixteen schools. Schools. Educational institutions. And they can’t count. Glorious. Anyway, here are the predictions followed by some BTN After Dark comments:

		Conference		Overall
	East	W	L	W	L
	Ohio State	8	1	11	1
	Michigan	8	1	11	1
	Michigan State	6	3	9	3
	Penn State	6	3	8	4
	Maryland	4	5	7	5
	Indiana	1	8	3	9
	Rutgers	1	8	3	9
	West
	Wisconsin	6	3	9	3
	Minnesota	6	3	9	3
	Purdue	6	3	9	3
	Nebraska	5	4	8	4
	Iowa	5	4	8	4
	Northwestern	1	8	4	8
	Illinois	0	9	3	9

BTN After Dark Comments

• I am so looking forward to Rutgers travelling clear across the country to face UCLA on Big Ten Network starting at 10:30 at night.
• Can The Fighting Ann Arbor Khaki Warriors repeat as Big Ten champs?  To be honest, I don’t think they will even repeat as Big Ten East champs.  It will come down to their big matchup with tOSU two days after American Thanksgiving.  This one is in Columbus so I am giving the nod to the Buckeyes here which will be huge when it comes to what The Committee has to look at.
• You know, considering how good the Terps’ recruiting has been lately, do you think they kind of wish, money aside, that they were back in the ACC?  Not saying they could beat Clemson but man, they would look like a really good team there.
• The Big Ten West is going to be ridiculous.  I just have this feeling.  Five teams within one game of each other.  Yes, even Nebraska is in there.  In the end, Wisconsin will win some sort of game of Spin The Bottle, except using an ear of corn, and end up getting to the Big Ten Championship where they can scare the Buckeyes for a quarter-and-a-half.
• Conference Championship prediction: Ohio State 32 Wisconsin 10.  As I said in the previous point, this will be close well into the second quarter and then the Buckeyes will decide enough’s enough and do away with Wisky on their way to the CFP.

I think that right there tells you all you need to know about what’s going on with the rest of the Power Five. The ACC, at this point, might as well chill since their contract with ESPN lasts for more than another decade and any change would require a hell of a lot more money to leave than what USC and UCLA will have to deal with.

Now, there are rumblings that ESPN is stepping in and trying to broker an ACC/Pac-12 merger of sorts but I can’t see that happening to be perfectly honest with you. As long as the Big Ten or SEC doesn’t decide to poach any of their members (which is still a possibility), they should be fine for the time being. Alright, let’s get to the predictions, followed by a bong hit or five:

		Conference		Overall
	Atlantic	W	L	W	L
	Clemson	8	0	11	1
	NC State	7	1	11	1
	Florida State	5	3	8	4
	Louisville	5	3	7	5
	Wake Forest	4	4	8	4
	Boston College	3	5	6	6
	Syracuse	1	7	3	9
	Coastal
	Miami	6	2	9	3
	Pittsburgh	6	2	9	3
	Virginia Tech	4	4	6	6
	North Carolina	4	4	6	6
	Virginia	2	6	5	7
	Georgia Tech	1	7	2	10
	Duke	0	8	2	10

Hey Dude

• I’ve honestly thought of going to one of those cannabis shops to see what’s there.  It’s basically punishable by death here (in this condo area) to have anything weed-related so I’d have to be super sneaky about it.
• Hey, is Clemson back on top?  Sure looks like it although NC State is going to give them a serious run for their money.  Both teams look like they are a tier above the rest (sorry Miami and Pitt) and their game on October 1st will probably be for the division title.  High stakes for sure.
• Coastal Chaos is…not back.  Speaking of the Canes and Panthers, they are also a step above all the other teams in that division.  They will battle it out in another important ACC game on American Thanksgiving weekend which might just decide who gets their shit pushed in by the Tigers or Wolfpack.
• I don’t consider this a Kool-Aid pick.  Florida State will be better.  No stupid upset losses to FCS schools.  Just the slow ascent back to, potentially, the top of the ACC.  Same goes for Louisville (without the FCS issue).
• I did have Wake also in the ACC title hunt but the news that Sam Hartman will be out for at least a bit is a massive worry in Winston-Salem.  He steers the ship and without him, sorry Deacs fans, the offense just doesn’t go like it normally does.
• Remember last year when I had North Carolina bullying their way into the College Football Playoff?  Yeah, not falling for that this time, Mack.
• Conference Championship prediction: Clemson 47 Miami 14.  Yeah this won’t be close.

OK now we get to the first of the quasi-feuding brothers (sisters? cousins?). The Big XII is adding four teams next season and is pushing hard to get the rest of the Pac-12 teams to join them. It’s almost a certainty Oregon and Washington would rather drop football than join this conference but the rest of the schools remaining could very well be up for grabs, especially the two Arizona schools and the Mountain region schools. Until the next shoe drops, though, it’s another year of the Big XII with X schools. Here are my predictions followed by musings from a pissed off Count Von Count:

		Conference		Overall
		W	L	W	L
	Baylor	8	1	10	2
	Oklahoma	8	1	10	2
	Texas	7	2	9	3
	Oklahoma State	7	2	9	3
	TCU	4	5	6	6
	Iowa State	4	5	6	6
	Kansas State	3	6	6	6
	West Virginia	2	7	4	8
	Texas Tech	2	7	3	9
	Kansas	0	9	2	10

ZERO!  ZERO FUCKS GIVEN!  AH AH AH!

• Funny that if things stay as they are, the Big XII will actually get back to twelve teams so at least one conference understands preschool math.
• The bottom of the Big XII looks to be the same.  Kansas at the bottom.  Texas Tech not far from them.  And it always feels like one of West Virginia, Kansas State or TCU ending up in eighth.  Will this change with the newcomers?  I’m gonna say no.
• Not quite their swan song in the conference but I see the Sooners, despite all the defections, getting back to the Big XII Championship.  They are just too deep a team to not contend for, at the very least, a NY6 spot.  I expect Baylor to continue to do well under Dave Aranda and join OU at JerryWorld.
• Conference Championship prediction: Baylor 25 Oklahoma 23.  Yeah I am predicting the Bears to finish the Big XII Championship State of Oklahoma sweep by beating the Sooners in a very close game.

I remember doing a post eight years ago on my Pac-12 predictions. Here is what I said in that post:

The Pac-12 has become the de facto second best conference in the land and it’s by a long shot as well.

Wow. I mean eight years is a long time but the fall off the cliff of the Pac-12 started not long after this post. It has been a near-disastrous eight years for the Conference of Champions in football and with USC and UCLA leaving for the Big Ten things are looking even worse for the soon-to-be Pac-10.

Look, let’s just get to the predictions before I make Bill Walton cry:

		Conference		Overall
	North	W	L	W	L
	Oregon	9	0	11	1
	Oregon State	4	5	7	5
	Washington	4	5	6	6
	California	3	6	5	7
	Washington State	3	6	5	7
	Stanford	3	6	4	8
	South
	Utah	8	1	10	2
	UCLA	7	2	10	2
	USC	6	3	9	3
	Arizona State	4	5	6	6
	Arizona	2	7	3	9
	Colorado	1	8	1	11

Bill Walton’s Tears

• Hey remember I had U of A being terrible last year and I was right?  Well, this year I am doubling down with the Colorado Buffaloes.  I have a feeling Karl Dorrell is going to be taking a lot of ibuprofen this season.  And may start drinking if he doesn’t already do so.
• I see a lot of experts saying USC is going to win the Pac-12 South.  They will be better, there’s no doubt about it.  But win the division after going 4-8 last year?  Let’s pump the brakes a bit.  I think Lincoln Riley is still a season away from really pushing USC to the heights they were at during the Pete Carroll era.
• So who will win the South Division?  I think Utah repeats as South Division champions but it will be UCLA that will give them the toughest time.  The Bruins should be really good…like New Year’s Six good.  Now watch them go 4-8 and Chip Kelly get fired.
• As for the North Division, Oregon should clinch by Thanksgiving…our Thanksgiving.  There is no one close to them.
• Conference Championship prediction: Utah 32 Oregon 20.  Closer than last year but this time the Utes will destroy the Ducks’ dreams of the CFP.

There you go!  All conference standings predictions complete!  Next up I will put it all together and tell you who I think will win the whole thing.  Have a great week everyone!