Sure, let’s do a bit of a draft recap

I will get to this man a bit later since he went through quite the night.

As usual, the draft was a fun time…well, the first night was fun then it got steadily less fun until the final rounds when other than NFL Network’s Stump The Truck, almost nothing was really all that fun. But I watched most of it. What can I say, I am way into football. Probably too much but soon enough I will be on my own a lot more so football may be the only thing that keeps me company. God, that’s sad. Let’s move on.

First of all, I will take a look at my mock draft and compare it to the actual draft results and…yep, I got basically nothing right. I couldn’t even get the first two picks right. I had C.J. Stroud going first followed by Bryce Young. I think Carolina made the right pick out of the two but I was sure they had their sights set on Stroud. Funny enough, though, I got two picks exactly right: Zay Flowers to the Ravens at #22 and Wanya Morris to the Chiefs at #92. That really doesn’t make any sense but it’s the truth. Other than that, everything else wrong and some were REALLY wrong.

Reaches

It’s always too soon to look at this but there seem to be picks that were universally thought of as reaches: as in a team picked a player way earlier than they probably would have gone. I know some teams absolutely want a specific player and worry about not getting them that much that they either take them too soon or trade up to get them when they didn’t need to. Still doesn’t mean it wasn’t a stretch for that player. Let’s look at a few that felt obvious.

Darnell Wright (#10 overall to Chicago) – I, along with most others, had Wright pegged as a late-1st round/early-2nd round pick at best. The fact that the Bears also passed on Peter Skoronski, from Northwestern (supposedly Chicago’s Big Ten school) is the real headscratcher here.

Jahmyr Gibbs (#12 to Detroit) – Speaking of headscratchers, it’s like Detroit brought back Matt Millen and his new focus wasn’t wide receivers but running backs. Detroit did not need help at running back but took Gibbs at this point anyway. I had figured he’d end up on the Bills which didn’t thrill me but Gibbs is better than what they have at this point. Anyway, Detroit ended up trading D’Andre Swift to the Eagles because of this pick. I don’t get it.

Deonte Banks (#24 to NY Giants) – Did the Giants need a cornerback? Absolutely. Was Joey Porter Jr. still on the board? Absolutely. Was Kelee Ringo still on the board? Absolutely. Was Cam Smith still on the board? Absolutely. I could go on and on but Banks wasn’t a first rounder and I’d be shocked if he plays like one.

Derick Hall (#37 to Seattle) – The Seahawks didn’t exactly need a defensive end but they decided to pick one anyway. OK, that’s fine. To pick Hall when there were a few other guys on the board who were rated way higher made no sense. Hall was barely a second rounder in most mock drafts.

Steals

On the other hand, we have our draft steals. Every draft has their steals and yes I know Tom Brady was a “steal.” Actually, no, at the time, no one thought he was a steal of a pick. No one. At all. If you say you did, you’re a dirty fucking liar. Again, this is way too early so by the time the next draft occurred, yes, Brady was considered a massive steal. Hell, he would have been a steal as a late second rounder.

Christian Gonzalez (#17 to New England) – The biggest steal of the draft in my opinion. I had him going third overall and many mock drafts had him in the top seven picks. Did the Pats need any help in the secondary? No, but how do you pass on a guy that has dropped approximately 10 spots or so in the first round when you don’t have a huge need? Once again, Bill Belichick is playing 4-D Parcheesi while everyone else is playing Snakes and Ladders.

Dalton Kincaid (#25 to Buffalo) – I was not happy when Bijan Robinson was off the board super early. Man did he go from not even a first rounder like a month ago to Top 10 pick. Anyway, the Bills did the next best thing (that they needed) by getting the best tight end in the draft in Kincaid. Josh Allen could make the guy…well, not a star but a very dependable receiver.

Joey Porter Jr. (#32 to Pittsburgh) – How did the last into the second round? There were easily six different teams that should have taken him and passed. Yeah I’m looking at you New York Football Giants (or GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-Men in honour of Chris Berman). He may make a couple of teams pay for passing on him this coming season.

Jalin Hyatt (#73 to NY Giants) – So the Giants make one of the worst picks of the early part of the draft and then somehow snag Hyatt in the third round. Hey, whatever works. I could have also put Hyatt’s Tennessee Volunteer teammate Cedric Tillman here as he went one spot later to the Browns.

Alright let’s get down to the Will Levis situation. ESPN did this man (and his family) dirty. Well, most of them. I think the girlfriend loved the attention. Still though, to spend four-plus hours in that room and not get your name called has to suck. And ESPN loved it. You know they did. Most people had him going in the #7-#13 range. I had him going to Washington at #16. Then someone on Reddit (I think) tweeted that the Panthers were considering him for the top pick. All of a sudden, people became a lot more interested in him. It also meant that every draft pick that wasn’t him would make him look worse. And yes I know there are others that suffer the same plight but he is, by far, the most hyped of anyone who has had that happen. Also, why didn’t Tennessee move up into the first round to get him? Now they lose a potential option year if he ends up being good. Poor management by the Titans there.

Best Draft

Again, this is way too early but you can kind of tell when a team probably had a good draft (unless one of their top picks is a flop). Here is my list of the top three teams from draft day.

Philadelphia – It feels almost unanimous among experts (which I am not one of) that the Eagles had the best draft. Not only did they continue their Georgia Bulldog-riffic defense picking Jalen Carter and Nolan Smith, but they also drafted Bama’s Tyler Steen who could potentially anchor the offensive line soon enough and somehow had Kelee Ringo (another Bulldog) fall into their lap in the fourth round. Finally, Detroit’s stupidity made it so the Eagles got D’Andre Swift in a trade with the Lions. An all-around great few days for possibly the NFC favourites.

Indianapolis – No, this isn’t all about the Anthony Richardson pick although that is what much of the Colts’ draft will hinge on. They had a great draft otherwise, though, with a huge value pick in the fourth round, nabbing Adetomiwa Adeboware. Really, it’s Richardson and Adeboware for the Colts. If they both hit then this will end up being the number one draft crop in hindsight. Otherwise….yikes. Huge risk-reward for a team that feels the time is right to make huge moves.

Pittsburgh – The Eagles’ cross-state rival also had quite the good, if not underrated, draft, looking like the smartest team coming out of the draft. They filled pretty much all their needs in the first three rounds and then got some great value late. Porter is a steal and teams may regret not picking him.

Worst Draft

Very rarely does a team get selected having the worst draft and then it ends up that everyone was wrong in hindsight. So yeah, this is not a good group to be in.

Jacksonville – Third worst on our list is the Jags with a bit of a perplexing draft. Things were looking great for a team that looked like it may run away with the AFC South over the next few years. That may not be the case anymore, and this draft didn’t help matters any. Unfortunately, the Cam Robinson situation forced them to pick O-line early but Anton Harrison may not have been the guy. Tank Bigsby was a pretty bad pick and could have been got two rounds later. And for a team that needed a tight end as another weapon for Trevor Lawrence, getting Brenton Strange isn’t it with other guys on the board. Just weird all around.

Minnesota – Look, they did pretty well with the Jordan Addison pick. Beyond that? Woof. Every other pick was a reach and they really didn’t do anything to help Kirk Cousins beyond getting Addison to hopefully pair with Justin Jefferson. Cousins is in the last year of his contract and this felt like the year the Vikings really had to try and go for it or start building for the future and they did neither.

San Francisco – Just like Philly, it’s a pretty unanimous vote on the other end of the draft grades. The ass end, if you will. The 49ers did a deplorable job this time around. Lucky for them, as long as Brock Purdy and/or Trey Lance are ready to go, this team is ready to battle for the NFC title at the very least. But holy shit, you’d think you would draft one guy that would help the team this coming season. Especially on the offensive line, where they needed help and drafted nobody. But hey, they drafted a kicker. Before the 100th pick. For fuck’s sakes what a joke.

Finally, a quick look at the two networks showing the draft. Most people seemed to be watching ESPN, as per usual. The NFL Network picked up the rest of the viewers. Problem was, the amount of complaints I heard about ESPN were staggering. Yet, these same people obviously outright refused to just, oh I don’t know, turn to the other network with draft coverage. I get that hearing the old NFL Primetime music is great (it really is) but if the coverage sucks then change the channel. My opinion, as you may know, is that the NFL Network has always had better coverage since they started showing the draft. I mean, that’s their whole thing: the NFL. ESPN suffers from trying to put in as many horrific stories about the draftees and too many people involved in the production. At least a quarter of the people involved could have been axed because they sucked at their job on this night.

I think that’s the first draft recap I have done in a long time. I don’t feel like looking. I’m not really a recap kind of guy but I figured what the hell. We are now 107 days away from the college football season and the posts will start coming along more frequently once again. We are getting close to true football season, folks! Not that I’m minding the XFL since it has been pretty good. The USFL, on the other hand, ugh. Have a great rest of the week everyone.

Mock Draft? Yeah, why the fuck not.

Fuck off Captain Ginger.

I haven’t done a mock draft at all until now. Not one. Then I decided “Hey, why not do three rounds’ worth?” I had no answer for myself because I’m an idiot. So yeah, three rounds. Now there are no trades here and I don’t project trades because that is a fool’s game. Although, I guess mock drafts are also a fool’s game. Ugh. Let’s just get started before I regret doing this.

Round 1

1CarolinaC.J. Stroud, QB (Ohio State)
2HoustonBryce Young, QB (Alabama)
3ArizonaChristian Gonzalez, CB (Oregon)
4IndianapolisTyree Wilson, EDGE (Texas Tech)
5SeattleWill Anderson Jr., LB (Alabama)
6DetroitJalen Carter, DT (Georgia)
7Las VegasParis Johnson Jr., OT (Ohio State)
8AtlantaAnthony Richardson, QB (Florida)
9ChicagoLukas Van Ness, DE (Iowa)
10PhiladelphiaJaxon Smith-Njigba, WR (Ohio State)
11TennesseeQuentin Johnson, WR (TCU)
12HoustonDevon Witherspoon, CB (Illinois)
13NY Jets Green BayDalton Kincaid, TE (Utah)
14New EnglandPeter Skoronski, OT (Northwestern)
15Green Bay NY JetsBroderick Jones, OT (Georgia)
16WashingtonWill Levis, QB (Kentucky)
17PittsburghJoey Porter Jr., CB (Penn State)
18DetroitBijan Robinson, RB (Texas)
19Tampa BayBrian Branch, S (Alabama)
20SeattleJordan Addison, WR (USC)
21LA ChargersMyles Murphy, DE (Clemson)
22BaltimoreZay Flowers, WR (Boston College)
23MinnesotaNolan Smith, LB (Georgia)
24JacksonvilleKelee Ringo, CB (Georgia)
25NY GiantsJalin Hyatt, WR (Tennessee)
26DallasO’Cyrus Torrance, G (Florida)
27BuffaloJahmyr Gibbs, RB (Alabama)
28CincinnatiMichael Mayer, TE (Notre Dame)
29New OrleansRyan Hayes, G (Michigan)
30PhiladelphiaJack Campbell, LB (Iowa)
31Kansas CityDarnell Wright, OT (Tennessee)

Round 2

32PittsburghCalijah Kancey, DT (Pittsburgh)
33HoustonDarnell Washington, TE (Georgia)
34ArizonaJohn Michael Schmitz, C (Minnesota)
35IndianapolisCam Smith, CB (South Carolina)
36LA RamsMazi Smith, DT (Michigan)
37SeattleBryan Bresee, DT (Clemson)
38Las VegasQuan Martin, S (Illinois)
39CarolinaWill McDonald IV, DE (Iowa State)
40New OrleansHendon Hooker, QB (Tennessee)
41TennesseeDaiyan Henley, LB (Washington State)
42NY Jets Green BayAntonio Johnson, S (Texas A&M)
43NY JetsDrew Sanders, LB (Arkansas)
44AtlantaEmmanuel Forbes, CB (Mississippi State)
45Green BayIsaiah Foskey, DE (Notre Dame)
46New EnglandB.J. Ojulari, DE (LSU)
47WashingtonLuke Wypler, C (Ohio State)
48DetroitLuke Musgrave, TE (Oregon State)
49PittsburghNoah Sewell, LB (Oregon)
50Tampa BayAnton Harrison, OT (Oklahoma)
51MiamiSteve Avila, G (TCU)
52SeattleJ.L. Skinner, S (Boise State)
53ChicagoCedric Tillman, WR (Tennessee)
54LA ChargersSiaki Ika, DT (Baylor)
55DetroitDeonte Banks, CB (Maryland)
56JacksonvilleCody Mauch, OT (North Dakota State)
57NY GiantsTyrique Stevenson, CB (Miami)
58DallasJosh Downs, WR (North Carolina)
59BuffaloGervon Dexter, DT (Florida)
60CincinnatiAdetomiwa Adebawore, DT (Northwestern)
61ChicagoHenry To’o’To’o, LB (Alabama)
62PhiladelphiaChris Rodriguez, RB (Kentucky)
63Kansas CityFelix Anudike-Uzomah, EDGE (Kansas State)

Round 3

64ChicagoJaelyn Duncan, OT (Maryland)
65HoustonTrenton Simpson, LB (Clemson)
66ArizonaTuli Tuipulotu, DE (USC)
67DenverClark Phillips, CB (Utah)
68DenverDawand Jones, OT (Ohio State)
69LA RamsSam LaPorta, TE (Iowa)
70Las VegasKeion White, DE (Georgia Tech)
71New OrleansZach Charbonnet, RB (UCLA)
72TennesseeTucker Kraft, TE (South Dakota State)
73HoustonAnthony Bradford, G (LSU)
74ClevelandZacch Pickens, DT (South Carolina)
75AtlantaSydney Brown, S (Illinois)
76New EnglandRashee Rice, WR (SMU)
77LA RamsNick Broeker, G (Ole Miss)
78Green BayTyler Scott, WR (Cincinnati)
79IndianapolisTanner McKee, QB (Stanford)
80PittsburghTyler Steen, OT (Alabama)
81DetroitMcClendon Curtis, G (Chattanooga)
82Tampa BayJonathan Mingo, WR (Ole Miss)
83SeattleJoe Tippman, C (Wisconsin)
84MiamiZach Evans, RB (Ole Miss)
85LA ChargersBlake Freeland, OT (BYU)
86BaltimoreJulius Brents, CB (Kansas State)
87MinnesotaMekhi Garner, CB (LSU)
88JacksonvilleDaniel Scott, S (California)
89NY GiantsJarrett Patterson, G (Notre Dame)
90DallasKendre Miller, RB (TCU)
91BuffaloCameron Latu, TE (Alabama)
92CincinnatiWanya Morris, OT (Oklahoma)
93CarolinaJaylon Jones, CB (Texas A&M)
94PhiladelphiaMekhi Blackmon, CB (USC)
95Kansas CityKayshon Boutte, WR (LSU)
96ArizonaDeMarvion Overshown, LB (Texas)
97WashingtonCam Mitchell, CB (Northwestern)
98ClevelandMike Morris, DE (Michigan)
99San FranciscoJaxon Kirkland, G (Washington)
100Las VegasEmil Ekiyor, C (Alabama)
101San FranciscoBrandon Joseph, S (Notre Dame)
102San FranciscoXavier Hutchinson, WR (Iowa State)

Notes and Crap and Stuff and Things and Shit and Garbage

  • Yes I know I usually have logos as well. I decided to go no frills with this one. No, that doesn’t mean I have aisleways that are so cramped that two people with shopping carts can’t go through at the same time. Just means I was short on time and didn’t feel like doing all the work to put the fancy logos in.
  • You will notice that the third round has more picks than the other two rounds. Well, the first round only has 31 because Miami forfeited its pick and the third round includes all the compensatory picks.
  • I am feeling pretty good with my first few picks. Stroud should go #1 and Young #2. I think at least seven out of my top ten will be in the top ten come draft night. Beyond that, who knows.
  • I hope that somehow Bijan Robinson can fall all the way to the Bills’ pick at #27. He won’t as he seems to be rocketing up many draft boards. As long as the Bills figure out their running back issue I will be somewhat happy.
  • Take a look at your favourite team and see if you like the way I drafted for them. If so, I feel bad for you since they will most likely not draft as well. I don’t make the rules.

Look if there are trades between now and the draft I will update my picks because otherwise it wouldn’t make sense. You know, say if Aaron Rodgers gets traded to a certain team in the AFC East with a plane-based logo, I assume there will be picks involved as well so I would adjust my mock draft accordingly.

OK that was a lot. Especially for my first post in a while. If work wasn’t so busy I’d do more. I’m just kidding, I wouldn’t have. Not a whole lot to post about to be honest. Things will start ramping up soon after the draft I’m sure. Have a great draft night(s) everybody!

Alright let’s wrap this up in a nice, neat little package

Oh man did you actually believe that?  LITTLE?  Have you not noticed what I’ve been doing the last little while?  Oh this will not be a little package I assure you; but it will be an important package of information that you, the college football fan, would like to see (I hope).

So yes, you will see what I believe the College Football Playoff and the New Year’s Six will look like.  You will get bowl projections from yours truly.  You will also get my Heisman ballot which is usually a big steaming pile of horseshit.  And you will get my coaching hot seat list which, honestly, is usually pretty good if I say so myself.

Let’s get right to it with the top of the pyramid (scheme)…the College Football Playoff predictions.  You probably have a good idea from the conference predictions as to who will end up here and you also know that there is a good chance I will fail miserably with one of these picks:

December 31st Fiesta Bowl #2 Ohio State #3 Georgia
December 31st Peach Bowl #1 Alabama #4 Clemson

New Year’s Eve semi-finals.  Will they never learn?  Anyway, Bama is the easy call here as I see them running the table and then beating UGA in what may be the biggest SEC Championship ever (and that’s saying a lot).  This also means that Georgia is probably a fairly easy call as well.  Sure, they will lose to the Tide but if they go in at #2 (which I expect them to) and lose to #1 (which I assume Bama would be) then a drop to #3 is as far as they will go.  No way they are leaving out a one-loss Big Ten champ so tOSU gets in and takes advantage of one of Alabama or Georgia having to lose to get to the #2 spot.  OK take advantage is a strong phrase since being #2 means very little other than avoiding #1 until, potentially, the title game.  Clemson ends up beating out Texas A&M, Michigan and NC State, all one-loss teams who didn’t win their division, rather easily to grab the final semi-final spot.  Oregon would have their shot at the Pac-12 Championship but lose to Utah making The Committee’s job (at least for these two games) rather straightforward.

Now we will go to the New Year’s Six bowl games where, thanks to the NFL, none of them are on New Year’s Day.  Eat shit, Rose Bowl.

January 2nd Rose Bowl #6 Michigan #10 Utah
January 2nd Cotton Bowl #11 Oregon #8 Houston
December 31st Sugar Bowl #5 Texas A&M #9 Baylor
December 30th Orange Bowl #7 NC State #12 Notre Dame

As always, it’s debate time.  Every year which is fine as long as the debates devolve into some stupid Twitter spat.  Only one conference championship loser is getting in here and that’s Oregon.  They’ll be high enough in the rankings (potentially in the Top 4) going into Conference Championship weekend that there is no way they drop out of a NY6 bowl.  Houston won’t be this year’s Cincinnati but they will be this year’s Group of Five representative in the New Year’s Six and they will coast to get here.  Michigan is going to have another good year but they have the audacity to be in the same division as Ohio State.  Assholes.  This will be enough to keep them out of the CFP.  Same goes for TAMU and NC State.  What were they thinking being in a division with other good schools.  And you wonder why I hate divisions.  We could have a tOSU-UM rematch and a Clemson-NCST rematch for conference championships.  Talk about a lot more being on the line and a hell of a lot more intrigue.

Utah, with their win over Oregon in the Pac-12 Championship, gets the other Rose Bowl spot opposite Michigan.  Luckily, they should ascend to somewhere around the #10 ranking that I have them in so they will look like they belong.  Baylor also gets the benefit of a good bowl tie-in and I have them facing their old Southwest Conference foe, the Aggies of Texas A&M.  Just like Utah, the Bears will be good enough to belong here and not spark any crazy debate about bowl tie-ins.  The only debate will be for the final spot.  Look, it’s Notre Dame.  If the Irish go 10-2, they are not being left out of this group of bowl games.  As much as some of you want that to be the case, it never will be (until the CFP structure changes).  They beat out UCLA, Oklahoma and Marshall.  Very few, other than those schools’ fans, will be super upset they were left out.

Now it’s time for the rest of BOWL SZN.  At least I know these bowls won’t be cancelled…I hope.

January 2nd Citrus Bowl #17 Tennessee #18 Michigan State
January 2nd ReliaQuest Bowl Florida #20 Minnesota
December 31st Music City Bowl Ole Miss #22 Purdue
December 30th Gator Bowl Arkansas #19 Pittsburgh
December 30th Arizona Bowl Boise State Northern Illinois
December 30th Sun Bowl Louisville Oregon State
December 30th Duke’s Mayo Bowl Kentucky Penn State
December 29th Alamo Bowl #15 Oklahoma #13 UCLA
December 29th Cheez-It Bowl Iowa State Miami
December 29th Pinstripe Bowl Iowa Florida State
December 28th Texas Bowl LSU #21 Texas
December 28th Holiday Bowl Virginia Tech #24 USC
December 28th Liberty Bowl South Carolina #23 Oklahoma State
December 28th Military Bowl Wake Forest #16 UCF
December 27th Guaranteed Rate Bowl Nebraska Kansas State
December 27th Birmingham Bowl Auburn #25 Cincinnati
December 27th First Responder Bowl Colorado State Troy
December 27th Camellia Bowl Coastal Carolina UAB
December 26th Quick Lane Bowl Maryland Miami-OH
December 24th Hawaii Bowl BYU Fresno State
December 23rd Independence Bowl Memphis Army
December 23rd Gasparilla Bowl Boston College Tulsa
December 22nd Armed Forces Bowl TCU UTEP
December 21st New Orleans Bowl #14 Marshall UTSA
December 20th Boca Raton Bowl Appalachian State Florida Atlantic
December 20th Idaho Potato Bowl San Diego State Toledo
December 19th Myrtle Beach Bowl Georgia State Liberty
December 17th Frisco Bowl San Jose State South Alabama
December 17th Las Vegas Bowl Mississippi State Arizona State
December 17th LendingTree Bowl Louisiana Kent State
December 17th LA Bowl Washington Air Force
December 17th New Mexico Bowl Utah State Western Michigan
December 17th Fenway Bowl North Carolina SMU
December 16th Cure Bowl East Carolina UNLV
December 16th Bahamas Bowl WKU Central Michigan

More bowl games!  Honestly, I don’t care nearly as much as I used to.  It’s more football at this point.  Once the 12-team playoff (or whatever it ends up being) comes to fruition, I will be interested to see what happens to some of the lower-level bowl games.  Hey, as long as Canadians can see most of these games on TSN then there’s no real problem.  Let’s look at a few points from that long table of information I just posted:

  • Only two games between ranked teams?  Good lord.  UT-MSU at the Citrus and Oklahoma-UCLA at the Alamo and that’s it.  Those two bowls are used to having fairly big matchups.  It would probably be more of a shock if the Bahamas Bowl had a Top 25 matchup (although it would definitely intrigue me that’s for sure).
  • I’m not bothering with listing bowl tie-ins and or conferences that couldn’t fill their bowl quota or even 5-7 teams that I have in to fill the bowl games that don’t have two teams.
  • Some of the other good matchups after the Citrus and Alamo:
    • Ole Miss-Purdue in Nashville
    • Arkansas-Pitt at the Gator
    • Iowa-Florida State playing in the cold of the Bronx
    • Wake-UCF in the Military Bowl
    • LSU going into Longhorn country (kind of) to play Texas
    • Marshall-UTSA in Nawlins
    • Nebraska-Kansas State in a Big Eight matchup in Tempe
  • The Husker one is very interesting because they have the longest Big Ten bowl drought.  Can you fucking believe it?  I would have bet money that it was Rutgers or…Rutgers.  Nope.  The Huskers went to the Music City Bowl in late 2016 and haven’t gone back to a bowl game since.  Wow.

History states at least one of the CFP semi-final games will not be that good.  I hate to do this to the Tigers but sorry, Bama should win that one easy.  The Buckeyes will have big problems with the Dawgs but in the end, they will punch their ticket to the national title game to lose to the Tide who will be back on top once again.  No real surprises here.

So now that COVID is…well not behind us but it is not nearly as serious as it was, we can really get back to normality. That means that the college football head coaches are getting shorter leashes again, folks! The shitcanning season will be upon us at some point this Fall!

And when I mean short leashes I mean seriously short. Like maybe a foot long. Some athletic directors are now realizing that the college football world is pretty much fully back to normal and they have some time to make up. Some coaches received reprieves in the past two seasons thanks to the pandemic but that leeway is fucking gone now.

Look I don’t want to toot my own horn but I usually do fairly well with this list. So let’s just get right down to it, shall we? If you recall, the order is from most likely to be fired to most likely to keep their job. They are also categorized in a few different sections. Let’s go!

Almost Guaranteed Shitcanning

  1. Geoff Collins (Georgia Tech) – This should be a surprise to absolutely no one.  The experiment to move away from the option to more of a pro-style offense has failed spectacularly in the ATL.  I honestly see no possible improvement here and a possible in-season firing.  Needed to keep his job – Get into the final few weeks of the season with at least a mathematical possibility of going bowling.  Prediction – He’s going to get shitcanned some time in November in the midst of a ten-loss season for the Rambling Wreck.
  2. Karl Dorrell (Colorado) – Can we say that weird 2020 season was an aberration?  I think we can as the Buffaloes are dropping down the ladder once again in the Pac-12 as realignment goes wild everywhere.  Needed to keep his job – Have a shot at bowl eligibility going into the final two games.  Prediction – A whole lot of frustration for Dorrell, the Buffaloes, the other coaches, alumni and current students. And no job for Dorrell…he may end up not coaching the final game of the season.
  3. Neal Brown (West Virginia) – Brown’s first year in Morgantown was considered a success.  Last year’s, not so much.  And with an improving Big XII around them, I see them falling even farther in Brown’s third year when he has most of his recruits in.  Not looking good for a guy who was a big up-and-comer not too long ago.  Needed to keep his job – Not continue the downward slide.  Prediction – I remember going to Wet n’ Wild as a kid. It doesn’t exist anymore. But it had some cool waterslides. That is how ol’ Neal is going to feel this season. He’ll end the season on the unemployment line.
  4. Mike Bloomgren (Rice) – No one is really expecting Rice to be a power player in football.  Saying that, they had to the American Conference next season and I can’t see Bloomgren being the head coach.  Other than a couple of good seasons, he’s done very little in the Houston area and has fallen FAR behind their neighbour.  Needed to keep his job – Something more than what I feel they will do this year.  Prediction – The bloom has come off the rose (ha ha) and he will be looking for a new school to coach at for 2023.
  5. Herm Edwards (Arizona State) – It feels inevitable that, at the very best, Herm will be done at the end of the season.  Their recruiting issues are well known and it may end up being the NCAA coming down hard on ASU (and, eventually, Herm himself).  It won’t help his cause that the Sun Devils won’t be as good as they were last year.  Needed to keep his job – I don’t know if there is anything short of a Pac-12 title that would save his job (and even then).  Prediction – Herm is shown the door before the last game of the season as the powers that be in Tempe decide it’s time to rebuild again.

Probable Shitcanning

  1. Dino Babers (Syracuse) – How long has Dino been on the hot seat?  Everything was looking golden in 2018 for Babers but since then…yeesh.  I’m not saying Syracuse is a destination spot for coaching but you know things are getting tense within the athletic department with this.  Needed to keep his job – The Orange to recapture at least some of that 2018 magic.  Prediction – Dino will be a coordinator somewhere next year.
  2. Scot Loeffler (Bowling Green) – I’m sure there are times where Scotty (Scoty?) would love to be back at any of the schools he used to be at.  This is his first head coaching gig and it has been a rough one to be honest.  Even though Bowling Green isn’t exactly a hotspot in college football, at some point the athletic director will be done with the team not performing.  7-22 isn’t exactly the type of record that keeps a job.  Needed to keep his job – 4 or 5 wins and look competitive inside the MAC.  Prediction – Double-digit losses and a pink slip.
  3. Danny Gonzales (New Mexico) – Speaking of tough places to coach, here are the Lobos looking at potentially another coaching change on the horizon.  Definitely a spot a younger coach in the West would maybe take a shot at.  Beware though: the last time UNM won at least ten games was four decades ago.  Unfortunately between them and NMSU, the state is a dead spot for college football.  Needed to keep his job – Close to bowl eligibility.  Prediction – Three wins and a tough decision to be made from the higher ups.

Possible Shitcanning

  1. Seth Littrell (North Texas) – Littrell hasn’t done bad in Denton.  Five bowls in his six seasons there is pretty darn good for a team in Conference USA.  Problem is he has lost every single one.  It truly does feel like they are kind of stuck in the middle of the conference and that’s getting some people antsy.  Needed to keep his job – At least 5 wins and competing for bowl eligibility near the end of the season.  Prediction – That’s exactly where I have the Mean Green. I think he probably survives the season but the leash will be extremely short going forward.
  2. Bryan Harsin (Auburn) – This was considered a coup when the Tigers plucked him from Boise State.  His first season on the Plains was…rocky to put it mildly.  There was an attempt to get him ousted after last season ended.  Obviously it didn’t work but there are some thinking maybe he just doesn’t fit at Auburn (or the SEC for that matter).  Needed to keep his job – A winning record and better recruiting.  Prediction – I got the Tigers winning 7 to stay out of the basement of the SEC West. That should be enough to save him at least into ‘crootin season. That’s where he needs to improve or otherwise he may not see the 2023 season on the field at Jordan-Hare.
  3. Ken Niumatalolo (Navy) – It is tough putting Ken on this list, I’m not going to lie.  Problem is, Navy has been pretty bad for three of the past four seasons.  That 2019 season where they won 11 games seems like a fluke, almost.  I’m sure it would take a lot to fire Niumatalolo but another season like the previous two and who knows.  Needed to keep his job – At least 6 wins.  Prediction – I have the Middies only winning three so this could be a very interesting offseason in Annapolis.
  4. Terry Bowden (ULM) – I might get some flak for this one.  I know he’s only been in Monroe for a season.  I do think this year the Warhawks are going to be one of the worst teams in the FBS. Maybe there is someone on his staff who will take over for him next year so that ULM brass will feel OK to fire him? I don’t know but this doesn’t seem to be leading anywhere in a much-improved Sun Belt Conference.  Needed to keep his job – Improvement from the previous season.  Prediction – As I said, they won’t be good. I have them predicted at 1-11. I can see this being done relatively quietly in the offseason (Terry’s shitcanning that is).
  5. Rick Stockstill (Middle Tennessee) – Stockstill has been at Middle for what seems like forever.  And it doesn’t feel like anything would happen because of that.  Saying that, the Blue Raiders need to do something since they have been mediocre most of the last few seasons. They also turned down a (possible?) invitation to the MAC so this is their chance to become the best of a not-so-good bunch. Will Rick lead them through that though?  Needed to keep his job – Got to be bowl eligibility really.  Prediction – I got MTSU winning 5 games which will make for some very interesting offseason chatter in Murfreesboro.
  6. Greg Schiano (Rutgers) – This isn’t the Schiano that went 56-33 in his final seven seasons during his first run in Piscataway.  That was in the Big East and Rutgers is…well, they definitely aren’t in a conference like that anymore.  Still, fans were hoping for something a bit more from a guy who runs blitzes during kneel down plays.  Unfortunately, I think this won’t be that year.  Needed to keep his job – Real bowl eligibility, not the 5-7 you are a smart school kind.  Prediction – I have the Scarlet Knights regressing a bit this year. Whether Schiano returns has a lot to do with whether they think they’ve truly bottomed out and if they believe they can get a good coach in.
  7. Jake Spavital (Texas State) – Has anyone ever expected the Bobcats to do anything of significance on the football field? Really, that lack of winning culture could be the one thing that gives Spavital one more season at the helm. Needed to keep his job – 5 wins and some meaningful November football. Prediction – 4 wins and a short leash into 2023.

Doubtful Shitcanning (although it still could happen)

  1. Jeff Scott (USF) – Not a whole lot has gone well for the former Clemson coordinator down in Tampa.  Remember when the Bulls were #2 in the nation?  Not even Pepperidge Farms remembers that I don’t think.  What it does say, though, is that you can win at this school.  Now it’s just a matter of how long the USF athletic department will give Scott to truly turn things around.  Needed to keep his job – Stay out of the American Conference basement.  Prediction – They aren’t going to a bowl game but expect them to win around four games and be quite clear of the bottom rung of the AAC.
  2. Scott Frost (Nebraska) – It has become a difficult job to recruit players to Lincoln.  I think Frost has finally figured it out and the Huskers, at the very least, should be back bowling this season. Now watch them completely tank.  Needed to keep his job – Bowl-eligibility at the very least.  Prediction – No Kool-Aid this time but I have the Huskers winning eight games. Don’t laugh.
  3. David Shaw (Stanford) – I remember when Shaw was getting Stanford to bowl games and contending in the Pac-12 on a consistent basis.  Make no bones about it, he’s still a great head coach.  Give him time and he will have the Cardinal back on top of what will be the Pac-10 going forward.  Needed to keep his job –  Look better than the 2021 season.  Prediction – I have Stanford winning 4 games but the bottom of the Pac-12 North is crowded so an upset or two isn’t out of the realm of possibility for this team. Shaw is safe for another season at the very least.
  4. Mike Norvell (Florida State) – Things are finally looking up in Tallahassee.  For real this time. It would have to get really bad for the Noles this season for Norvell to be let go.  Needed to keep his job – Bowl eligibility at the very least.  Prediction – Eight wins and a new lease on life. Teams won’t have it easy against this team this season.
  5. Tom Allen (Indiana) – I would put Tom farther up this list as Indiana was BAD last year and won’t be a whole lot better this season.  Thing is, his buyout is huge so unless the Hoosiers absolutely have to fire him, he won’t be let go.  Needed to keep his job – Don’t do something illegal or unethical.  Prediction – Other than punching the coach of the opposing team, I can’t see Allen doing anything bad. Yes I only have them winning three games this season but that doesn’t really matter here in the grand scheme of things.

One of these days I have to go back and see how truly successful I have been at this hot seat list. I still think the numbers will back me up.

Now from a normally good section (for me) to a notoriously horrible section (for me). My Heisman ballot is back. And I don’t know if it can be any worse than what I have done for the past few years. But, I always give it my all so here’s another edition of Bossman’s Heisman Trophy Ballot If He Got a Vote (which he most certainly should not):

My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Heisman Ballot

  1. C.J. Stroud, Ohio State – Last year’s ballot was horrifically bad but I did have Stroud in at #4 (and Bryce Young at #5).  So it wasn’t all bad (but mostly it was).  I have the Buckeyes getting to the National Championship and he will be the main reason why. It will be a close race this year, I believe, but Stroud will put up the numbers and get the big victories that put him over the top.
  2. Bryce Young, Alabama – Yes, I do have the Tide winning the national title this year.  It still won’t be enough to not join the list of players who had a shot at pulling an Archie Griffin and came up short.  Unlike everyone else on the list, he won’t make it easy on the other contenders. The only thing holding him back is how many other Heisman candidates this team has. They are loaded.
  3. Caleb Williams, USC – It was a huge coup for Lincoln Riley to convince Williams to follow him from Oklahoma to USC.  Among the contenders, Williams may have the toughest job helping turn around a 4-8 team so quickly.  This is one of the few instances where a team only being so good might end up costing a player during a Heisman campaign.
  4. Will Anderson Jr., Alabama – I believe Anderson is the best defensive player in the country and it’s really not even close.  He’s also one small part of the reason that I think Bryce Young won’t win the Heisman.  He will take some of the votes that would have been thrown Young’s way.  It could work in reverse as well. Anderson could be primed to be the first defensive player in a long time to win the Heisman Trophy but all the good Bama players, including Young, makes it a bit more difficult for him.
  5. D.J. Uiagalelei, Clemson – Should we try this again? Why not.  *clears throat*  Ahem…Oo-ee-un-guh-luh-lay.  Just like last year.  And just like last year I have him #5 in my Heisman rankings.  He will have to show some serious improvement and I am betting he will.  It will help that he will have a better team around him that will be competing fort he College Football Playoff.  I think we will have a good idea what kind of season he will have once September ends.
  6. Tyler Van Dyke, Miami – This guy looked like the real deal down the stretch last season and could have been considered the best ACC player the last few weeks of the regular season.  The Canes will be better but, as per usual, doing better will help a lot. If the Canes can somehow win the ACC title, Van Dyke’s chances might soar.
  7. Dillon Gabriel, Oklahoma – A fantastic quarterback at UCF.  And thanks to TransferPortalMania, he ends up in Norman, replacing Caleb Williams (and, sure, Spencer Rattler).  Being the quarterback for the Sooners is always a pressure situation but the pressure should be a lot less this season which may allow Gabriel to thrive.
  8. Bijan Robinson, Texas – Running backs still get shafted, to an extent, when it comes to Heisman voting.  It takes a phenomenal year for one to win it and you have to pair it with no outstanding quarterbacks.  An uphill battle for sure.  But if there’s one running back who could break through this season, it could be the new king of dijon mustard, Bijan Robinson. He will be the guy who makes the Texas offense go so if they win even 9 games this year, look for him to get a lot of attention from voters.
  9. Jaxon Smith-Njigba, Ohio State – Hey, how about the guy who had a breakout game for the ages at the Rose Bowl?  He will have arguably the best quarterback in the country throwing to him.  As we know, that’s a plus and a minus when it comes to the Heisman.  At the very least, he is the highest rated receiver coming into the season so that counts for something.
  10. Hendon Hooker, Tennessee – This may feel to some like an out-of-nowhere kind of pick.  Hooker showed what he could do running a decent Vols offense.  With Tennessee having a lot more talent on that side of the ball this season, he may have some crazy stats. If Tennessee somehow gets to a New Year’s Six bowl, he will get a ton of hype.

Honourable Mention

  • TreVeyon Henderson, Ohio State
  • Jahmyr Gibbs, Alabama
  • Braelon Allen, Wisconsin
  • Jaxson Dart, Ole Miss
  • Quinn Ewers, Texas
  • Spencer Rattler, South Carolina
  • Grayson McCall, Coastal Carolina
  • Jordan Addison, USC
  • Devin Leary, NC State

I am going to wish the players on this list good luck since there is a chance the winner is nowhere to be found here. Because I am terrible at this.

All the predictions I have are now complete! In about five months or so I will find out how poorly I did.

Next up will be…hold on let me check my notes…yes….YES……YEEEEEES! College football is back! Week Zero! I mean it’s just Week Zero but still….WEEK ZERO! I will have the schedule up at some point early in the week. I’ve already been asked about the specialty packs as it pertains to this coming Saturday. My guess is they won’t show anything since normally they don’t because…who knows but I will chalk it up to some sort of incompetence since what they (Bell and Rogers) tell me makes no sense. I will keep everyone updated. Have a great rest of the weekend everyone!