The (Short) Week 1 NFL Recap – Sponsored by Jack Del Rio’s Massive Sack

I don’t want to make this more NSFW than it already is (although I try to keep the fucking swearing to a minimum).

Yes, let’s discuss the grapefruits on ol’ JDR.  To be honest, it was probably the best call to make.  Drew Brees threw for about a million yards on the Raider defense and if the Saints had won the overtime coin toss, they might as well have packed up all their shit and left immediately.  So was it ballsy?  Sure.  But it was a very calculated move and the type of thing that is going to get Oakland to the playoffs there.  Well, that and an amazing QB and some good young talent.

The Colts Defense.  Yes, let’s start with a low point, at least for me at the time.  Coming into the last minute of the Lions-Colts game, I was undefeated.  Perfect 11-0.  Amazing.  I’m thinking “Hey, I could get some of that sweet, sweet ProLine money.”  Then the Colts allowed the Lions to march down the field with ease and win it on a Matt Prater field goal.  I was deflated (no not a Patriots joke…this time).  Thankfully (for my sanity) the Cards and Rams lost as well so I don’t feel like I missed out on a lot of money by one point and a really bad defense.  Poor Andrew Luck having to deal with that.

Speaking of the Rams… what was that?  What a complete piss poor performance by that team.  Aaron Donald’s ejection was the icing on a shit cake.  If the Rams continue this, fans in Los Angeles might not even care enough about a new stadium to support this team.

A tale of two Carsons.  Let’s start with Carson the Elder.  It’s not that Carson Palmer was bad.  He just wasn’t that great.  The Pats were ripe for the picking (kind of) and he just didn’t lead his team to victory.  As for Carson the Junior, Wentz showed he belongs in the NFL.  But let’s not crown him Rookie of the Year just yet.  This was against the Browns defense remember.  And speaking of Cleveland…

It is now obvious.  RGIII has not learned a damn thing.  His reckless style of play continues and, lo and behold, he’s now out for eight weeks with a shoulder injury.  Not that the Browns really had a chance but what now?

We have found another graduate of the Les Miles School of Clock Management.  But this time he’s a player and not a coach.  Look, Jason Garrett doesn’t need any more heat on him.  Coaching in Big D is tough enough.  But what Terrance Williams did with very little time left was a complete brain fart.  Not saying the Cowboys would have hit on what would have been a 50+ yard field goal.  But to not get a chance to even attempt it really sucks.

Remember, it’s only Week One.  Therefore:

• Jimmy Garoppolo is not the second coming of Tom Brady.
• The Bills won’t be THAT pathetic on offense all season.
• Carson Wentz isn’t a Pro Bowler yet.
• The Rams aren’t that inept. OK maybe they are but let’s give them a chance.
• The Bengals, Chiefs, Packers, and Seahawks are all probably better than what they showed.

Looks like we are getting back into the swing of things.  Expect the college schedule either Wednesday or Thursday every week and the NFL schedule every Friday.  College recap on Monday and NFL recap on Tuesday barring any issues.  You can set your watch to it…if you were so inclined to do so.

Week 10 Short NFL Recap – Sponsored by Big Dud

Wow, the Cowboys are bad. Like really bad. I know Tony Romo will be coming back soon but is this team too far gone? I think they are. Tony will help them to a few more wins but he won’t be bringing them back for a Wild-Card spot or anything like that. I mean if the rest of the team can’t perform well enough to score more than 6 points against Tampa Bay, then they won’t just magically get better. They should release a lot of dead weight and guys who are basically locker room cancer (ahem, Greg Hardy). Trade Dez Bryant for something since he’s shown he’s basically out for Dez and Dez only and start again. It’s worked in the past and I think if they built it correctly again they can get back to prominence.

Hey there were other things that happened over the past two days:

Cincinnati lost! And to the Texans. Damn. And they looked horrible doing it. Are these the “real” Bengals or was this just an aberration? I guess we have to ask the same thing about the Texans. Let’s be honest, the AFC Dirty South is a terrible division and the NFL deserves to have a 10-loss division champ. I just don’t know if it will be Houston or not.

Green Bay lost! And to the Lions. Damn. That entire team looked shitty. A-a-ron isn’t the same A-a-ron of earlier this season. This team is falling apart while the Vikings are just motoring past them. I would not be surprised now to see Minnesota take the NFC North this season, meaning the Packers would have to fight for a Wild-Card spot. Not easy in the NFC.

New England won! A close game for sure with a couple of interesting (read: controversial) calls. But the Patriots pulled it out yet again. My guess is they will go 15-0 and then lose the season finale in Miami to a Dolphins team that signed some shitty QB because Tannehill couldn’t do the job (think Jason Campbell).

Denver lost! Wow, Peyton Manning was a dumpster fire in that game. Absolutely brutal on a day he breaks Brett Favre’s passing yards record. And to the Chiefs! Ugh.

It now seems like there is one dominant team in each conference (Carolina and New England), one semi-dominant team that’s kind of out of nowhere (Minnesota and Cincinnati), one decent division champ who will get the #3 spot by default (Arizona and Denver), and then a really shitty division champ who may not even deserve to be in the playoffs (NY Giants and Indianapolis). The middle of the pack has become very crowded and with seven weeks to go I think I can confidently say it will go down to the wire this season. Here is how I see things shaking out:

AFC		NFC
Division Champs		Division Champs
1	New England (East)	1	Carolina (South)
2	Cincinnati (North)	2	Minnesota (North)
3	Denver (West)	3	Arizona (West)
4	Indianapolis (South)	4	NY Giants (East)
Wild-Card Spots		Wild-Card Spots
5	Pittsburgh	5	Green Bay
6	Buffalo	6	Washington

 

OK hear me out. I have a feeling I have eleven picks out of the twelve most of you would pick at this point. One of these things is not like the other (sing along!). No I am not smoking crack right now. I have picked the Washington Redskins to win the last wild card spot in the NFC. Here is my reasoning:

• The Skins have, arguably, the hottest quarterback in November in Kirk Cousins. The guy has somehow been on fire. RG Who?
• The Skins overall have played quite well. Well, at least well enough not to lose which has been an issue for the better part of the last decade.
• The Falcons are not for real. Matty Ice has turned into Matty Lukewarm Soup. The team around him is faltering. Yes they have a two-game cushion on the Skins but that will evaporate, mostly because they haven’t played Carolina yet.
• The Skins have a ridiculously easy division to play in, whereas other contenders like the Bears and Seahawks don’t.

There are other reasons. I also put them there partially to piss some people off. Can you imagine, considering so many people want Washington to change their team name, and they make the playoffs? People would be pissed and I would be happy.

Anyway, enough of the NFL for now. College football tonight and tomorrow (with one game tonight on TSN3 and TSN5). NFL back, along with more college football, this Thursday.

First Crack at an NFL Mock Draft

Oh this should be fun.  I can just imagine how wildly off I will be this time around.  I will pat myself on the back for my final top 10 picks last year but my first cut I don’t believe was anywhere near what actually happened.  I might as well have said the draft was outdoors in Minneapolis at the Mall of America since I was that far off.  Might as well go all in eh?

Here is my first look at what could potentially happen two-and-a-half months from now:

1	Tampa Bay		Jameis Winston, Florida State
2	Tennessee		Leonard Williams, USC
3	Jacksonville		Randy Gregory, Nebraska
4	Oakland		Amari Cooper, Alabama
5	Washington		Brandon Scherff, Iowa
6	NY Jets		Marcus Mariota, Oregon
7	Chicago		Shane Ray, Missouri
8	Atlanta		Vic Beasley, Clemson
9	NY Giants		Landon Collins, Alabama
10	St. Louis		Trae Waynes, Michigan State
11	Minnesota		T.J. Clemmings, Pittsburgh
12	Cleveland		Kevin White, West Virginia
13	New Orleans		Dante Fowler, Florida
14	Miami		Devante Parker, Louisville
15	San Francisco		Arik Armstead, Oregon
16	Houston		Andrus Peat, Stanford
17	San Diego		Eddie Goldman, Florida State
18	Kansas City		Dorial Green-Beckham, Missouri
19	Cleveland		Danny Shelton, Washington
20	Philadelphia		Jalen Collins, LSU
21	Cincinnati		Shaq Thompson, Washington
22	Pittsburgh		Gerod Holliman, Louisville
23	Detroit		Malcom Brown, Texas
24	Arizona		Benardrick McKinney, Mississippi State
25	Carolina		La’el Collins, LSU
26	Baltimore		Carl Davis, Iowa
27	Dallas		Alvin Dupree, Kentucky
28	Denver		Devin Funchess, Michigan
29	Indianapolis		Paul Dawson, TCU
30	Green Bay		Denzel Perryman, Miami
31	Seattle		Todd Gurley, Georgia
32	New England		Maxx Williams, Minnesota

I had to restrain myself from sticking with Marcus Mariota for the top pick.  Even after the national title game, I still had Mariota going number one.  Now it sounds like the Bucs want to go a bit more local and who they deem is the better pro prospect.  I still believe Mariota is the more mature player but his style of play is a bit more reckless, something that has to come nowadays in the various war rooms.  No wants to draft a guy who seems like a better version of RGIII if the versatility issues will still appear.  Or at least draft them too early.

I think it’s almost a foregone conclusion that Winston, Mariota, Gregory, Williams, Scherff, and Cooper will go top six.  What order they go in is the real question.  I think there is a decent-enough dropoff between those six and the next few guys in my mock draft (Shane Ray, Vic Beasley, Landon Collins, and Trae Waynes).  Again, there is always at least one player that always moves up from lower in the first round to get into the top 10 (think Khalil Mack from last season).  Also, I think the idea that more than two quarterbacks will be drafted in the first round is long gone (especially after what has happened with Gianni Futbol).

I will have probably two more kicks at the can at this.  I’m not like Todd McShay or Mel Kiper or any of the others that can do 43 mock drafts before draft night and get every one of them wrong.  I don’t have the time or the patience nor is that in my job description.  I might try for three more attempts but we shall see.  I will also take a look at potential trades since I can’t remember a first round that hasn’t had one (has there ever been one?  I’m too lazy to do research on this right now).