Going to be perfectly honest: this guy looks like could be the next lead singer for Creed. Instead, he is now the head coach of the most hyped team of the season not named the New York Jets, the Detroit Lions. He looks happy here. And kind of sane. I assure you, he is not. Sane that is. Or perhaps even happy.
This is what Dan looks like now:
Not your typical head coach right? He looks like he would eat a locker during a pregame speech just to prove a point. And sometimes that is very effective. He’s the kind of guy you’d run through a brick wall to play for, so to speak.
And his attitude and anger and honesty and differences are one of the big reasons why the Lions will probably be the class of the NFC North this season. Yes they have a fairly talented team but having a coach like this is boom or bust for most football teams. And it has been working in Detroit.
So in honour (I guess) of Detroit (and possibly the New York Jets) making the playoffs this year (which is crazy in and of itself), I will follow this schedule with some Campbell-ian style quotes.
American Networks
 |  | ||
| Cincinnati at Cleveland | 1:00 | All affiliates (except Minneapolis & Detroit) | |
| Tampa Bay at Minnesota | 1:00 | Minneapolis, Detroit | |
| San Francisco at Pittsburgh | 1:00 | All affiliates | |
| Las Vegas at Denver | 4:25 | Seattle, Spokane | |
| Philadelphia at New England | 4:25 | All affiliates (except Seattle & Spokane) | |
| LA Rams at Seattle | 4:25 | Tacoma, Seattle, Spokane | |
| Green Bay at Chicago | 4:25 | Minneapolis, Detroit, Buffalo, Rochester, Watertown, Burlington, Boston, Presque Isle |
Canadian Networks
 |  |  | ||
| San Francisco at Pittsburgh | 1:00 | All affiliates (except Ottawa & Winnipeg) | Ottawa | |
| Cincinnati at Cleveland | 1:00 | Ottawa | All affiliates (except Ottawa) | |
| Tampa Bay at Minnesota | 1:00 | Winnipeg | TSN3 | |
| Jacksonville at Indianapolis | 1:00 | TSN+ | ||
| Philadelphia at New England | 4:25 | Northern Ontario, Kitchener, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, Atlantic | ||
| Green Bay at Chicago | 4:25 | Winnipeg | TSN3 | |
| LA Rams at Seattle | 4:25 | Vancouver, Alberta, Saskatchewan |
Primetime Games
| Detroit at Kansas City | Thursday, 8:20, NBC, CTV, TSN 1/3/4/5 |
| Dallas at NY Giants | 8:20, NBC, CTV, TSN 1/3/4/5 |
| Buffalo at NY Jets | Monday, 8:15, ABC, CTV, TSN 1/3/4/5 |
NOTES ON THE DAMN GAMES!
- When is the last time the Detroit Lions have been in a marquee game at the start of the season? I’m gonna go with ever. Oh wait, I have a message from Dan Campbell. Ah. OK, Dan. I will relay that message. Dan wants to tell everyone to watch out for the Detroit Lions this year and if you don’t like what he’s doing there then you can go fuck yourself. I may be paraphrasing.
- I am wondering if I should be adding other columns to the charts. There’s now TSN+, which I can still put under TSN. There’s also those other weird channels that aren’t CTV but either were CTVs or act like CTVs or want to be CTVs or something. I’ll have to think about it. Dan’s telling me to stop wasting time. Got it, Dan.
- Games not being shown here unless you have RedZone (which is now available through TSN+ along with DAZN):
- Houston at Baltimore
- Tennessee at New Orleans
- Arizona at Washington
- Carolina at Atlanta
- Miami at LA Chargers
- Jesus Christ, five games? That’s not good but that’s what happens when you have a few games that end up being near-nationwide games. Dan is kind of perplexed as to the amount of games only being shown on RedZone. “I thought you did things better up here in Canada, Bossman? WHAT THE GOD DAMN FUCK?” I agree, Dan.
- One more point on that list of games that are RedZone-exclusive: who really wants to see the Cardinals and the Commanders?
- No multiple Monday Night Football games on opening night. This is good. There will, however, be three doubleheaders on Monday night during the season. Not a fan.
- I am not doing fantasy football this year. Focusing on other things. This means I didn’t need to spend time coming up with a fun fantasy football team name. So if you haven’t named your team, here are some possibilities for you:
- Nathan Peterman Quarterback Camp
- Cardinals Tank Express
- Hendon Cheap Hooker
- Mitch Trubisky (or Trey Lance) Draft Day Party
- Just don’t be the generic name you are given for your team. “If you do that, you are a fucking lazy ass and I wouldn’t want you anywhere near my team!” I concur, Dan.
- Back to TSN+, it looks like they will have an exclusive game every week. So if you subscribe, there’s an extra game you can’t get anywhere (at least I hope that’s how it would work).
Football is completely back, folks! Man, I am going to get nothing done over the next few months.
“ENJOY THE FUCKING GAMES!” – Dan
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