I will say it again like it’s the first time I have said it: don’t ever give me a ballot to vote on the Heisman. If the right people were smart, I may never get a ballot to vote for anything, ever, but that’s a story for another day.
History tells me I am really bad at this. So what do I do? Try it again. I guess you have to say I am a fighter or competitor or stupid…I don’t know which. Alright, here’s my Heisman ballot and I promise I have not selected the backup punter for UAB to win the gold:
The Heisman Ballot of Awfulness
- Leonard Fournette (LSU) – Sorry, Leonard. Chances are with my selection of you for the Heisman you probably won’t win. Last year, it felt like once Fournette got into the catbird seat, most media people wanted someone to overtake him. It got to the point it was too much. Yes he did falter down the stretch a bit but when a guy is a front-runner for the Heisman he should get just a tad more respect.
- Deshaun Watson (Clemson) – Almost everyone’s pick for the Heisman. I have this feeling that he will have one or two games that are sub-par enough that someone (Fournette in this case) would surpass him in the pecking order.
- Christian McCaffrey (Stanford) – I am pretty sure most have the same top three I have in various orders. There is almost no way McCaffrey can replicate what he did last season. And if it hadn’t been for Derrick Henry being so huge in big games, C-Mac would have run away with the Heisman. Unfortunately he will come up juuuuuuuuuust short two seasons in a row.
- Dalvin Cook (Florida State) – Poor Dalvin (kind of). I mean he will make a lot of money in the NFL one day but he will have to play third fiddle among running backs this season. In most years, Cook is the 1 or 1A/B choice for the Heisman (like, say, when Mark Ingram won it).
- Baker Mayfield (Oklahoma) – He will be at the helm of, arguably, the most prolific offense this season. He will be the major reason the Sooners are, at the very least, contending for a College Football Playoff spot. But I can’t see him being overall better than Watson this year, meaning he would be second at best.
- Chad Kelly (Ole Miss) – Here’s a guy who is not getting a lot of respect when it comes to the Heisman race from what I have seen. He was masterful last season and I expect him to do much of the same this season. There are a few out there who have the Rebels as darkhorse CFP picks. If Ole Miss makes it to the CFP, Kelly rockets up this list.
- Josh Rosen (UCLA) – The Heisman voters love quarterbacks. In my personal opinion, I don’t know if Rosen is even top ten but he will get some votes…unless he has a terrible year.
- Greg Ward, Jr. (Houston) – If the Cougs make a splash and go undefeated through the regular season (I don’t see this happening), Ward may get a lot of hype, especially from some media who would love to see what would be considered an underdog walk away with the Heisman.
- Brad Kaaya (Miami) – Here’s another guy who I don’t personally believe is in the top ten but, depending on how well The U does this season, will get some play on this list. If the Canes somehow win the ACC, expect him to be a darkhorse possibility.
- Jabrill Peppers (Michigan) – I am going to throw a bone to the defensive side of the ball. It may never happen again that a defensive player gets the nod for the Heisman but you have to consider that it is a possibility and that Peppers is probably the marquee defensive player in the country this season.
- J.T. Barrett (Ohio State)
- Nick Chubb (Georgia)
- Royce Freeman (Oregon)
- Seth Russell (Baylor)
- Joshua Dobbs (Tennessee)
- Samaje Perine (Oklahoma)
- Patrick Mahomes (Texas Tech)
So there you go. Short and sweet.
Next up is the wrap-up to all this tomfoolery: bowl projections. Way, way, WAY too early bowl projections. But everyone else is doing them! And yes, if everyone jumped off a bridge I would too. Don’t want to be the loner of the group. Unless everyone jumped and got really hurt. Then I’d probably pass.
Also coming up will be some NFL predictions which range from pretty darn accurate to completely dumb. We are 15 days away from the Showdown in Sydney (or whatever the fuck they’re calling it…I don’t care it’s FOOTBAW!!!!).
Also, tonight is the first NFL preseason game after the colossal fuck-up this past Sunday for the Hall of Fame Game. I still say they should all have at least one neutral-site game during the pre-season. There is no way most teams are filling their stadiums for pre-season affairs so why not grow the game a bit and make some new fans perhaps? Naw, that’s too progressive for the NFL.