NFL TV Schedule

Week 14 NFL Schedule – Sponsored by Mike Pettine’s obvious brain damage

That’s Corporal Brain Damage to you!

OK what in the blue hell is wrong with Mike Pettine. Before this season he seemed like a rather smart man who had a wealth of football knowledge. It looked like he was a head coach just waiting for an opportunity to be a head coach. So now he gets that opportunity and if he hasn’t flushed it down the drain already, he is damn close. What a fucking shitshow it is in Cleveland. So he is telling everyone he didn’t realize how bad Johnny Bottle Service’s alcohol problem was? Is he fucking kidding? Or is he just stupid? Either way, I don’t get Pettine’s mindset here. First of all, he hates Manziel’s guts. Despite him downplaying it, it is pretty obvious. McCown? Davis? Seriously? Why not bring Bernie Kosar out of retirement while you’re at it? Secondly, he is wildly entertaining. Just give him a playbook (for the most part) that allows him to perform. Let’s not mistake him for Tim Tebow. Tebow was fun to watch but still hot garbage. Saw him play in person once and knew from that one performance that he was fairly lucky to have that one good season. Then again, Denver had no idea how to use him properly anyway. Finally, Johnny Last Call is a poor man’s Rob Gronkowski. Gronk is great because he parties but, for the most part, knows where to draw the line. He’s the NFL’s head frat boy. John Quarterback doesn’t know that a line exists and makes a fool out of himself on a near-weekly basis. So for the Browns organization, either help the guy out, set him up for success and see what you got or cut the guy. What they are doing is so Browns-like it is the epitome of Cleveland Browns thought processes.

Phew! That was a long rant………..after all that I am sure Cleveland will draft Paxton Lynch and destroy that kid too.

Here’s the schedule for this coming week:

8:25 Minnesota at Arizona NFL Network/SNP/SNW/SNO/SNE
1:00 Washington at Chicago FOX (Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Northwestern Ontario, Northern Ontario, Golden Horseshoe, GTA, Peterborough, Kingston, Belleville)
1:00 Pittsburgh at Cincinnati CBS (Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Northwestern Ontario, Eastern Canada)/TSN1/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5
1:00 San Francisco at Cleveland No TV
1:00 Indianapolis at Jacksonville No TV
1:00 Tennessee at NY Jets CBS (Cornwall, Quebec)
1:00 Buffalo at Philadelphia CBS (Golden Horseshoe, GTA, Peterborough, Kingston, Belleville)/CTV (all of Ontario)
1:00 Detroit at St. Louis FOX (Western Ontario, K/W-Cambridge, Guelph, Ottawa-Gatineau)
1:00 New Orleans at Tampa Bay No TV
1:00 San Diego at Kansas City No TV
1:00 Atlanta at Carolina FOX (Cornwall, Quebec, Eastern Canada)/CTV (Montreal, Atlantic)
1:00 Seattle at Baltimore FOX (BC, Alberta)/CTV (Vancouver, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Winnipeg)
4:05 Oakland at Denver CBS (BC, Alberta, Northern Ontario, Western Ontario, K/W-Cambridge, Guelph, Ottawa-Gatineau)/TSN1/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5
4:25 Dallas at Green Bay FOX (all of Canada)/CTV (Vancouver, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Winnipeg, Northern Ontario, Kitchener, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal)/CTV2 (Atlantic)
8:30 New England at Houston NBC/TSN1/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5
8:30 NY Giants at Miami TSN1/TSN3/TSN4
  • OK I am kind of getting tired of the amount of games on in the early afternoon slot. 11 games on early this Sunday? That is so dumb. I hope that the two measly late games are basically over by halftime since the NFL STILL hasn’t learned their lesson from that happening multiple times earlier this season.
  • Hey only four games not available in Canada (except for the exceptions…you know who you are). That’s not bad at all. It’s too bad though since San Francisco at Cleveland could be a trainwreck of epic proportions.
  • Lesean McCoy won’t shake Chip Kelly’s hand? That’s nice. I guess you have to inject some drama into a game that many people would normally avoid. Problem is here the Bills are in the thick of the Wild-Card race and the Eagles are in the thick of the NFC East race. Yes, the NFL’s mid-card is completely insane this season.
  • I hear that now there are all sorts of bidders for the Thursday Night football package. Just fabulous. I don’t care what they do. I still will only watch it in a half-ass manner, much like I do with Monday Night Football. They can put their top announce team on and I wouldn’t care.
  • No crazy crossflex scheduling to confuse the masses. To be honest, most people don’t really notice. It’s not like they will look at the schedule and say “Wait…Cincinnati at Cleveland is on FOX? THAT’S TWO AFC TEAMS ON THE HOME OF THE NFC! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!” and then they overdose on fried chicken. That doesn’t happen. As long as they can see their favourite team play (or just be able to watch football in general) then they’re fine. Which is why what I have said for months now should happen. Scrap the AFC-NFC Berlin Wall-like thing between CBS and FOX. It’s over. In ten years, most of those games will be on the Ocho anyway.

Some picks for this week

Haven’t done this in a while so might as well get back to it. I am wondering if I should get back into fantasy football next year. Maybe that’s just stemming from the fact I am re-watching previous seasons of The League right now. Anyway, here are some picks:

Chicago over Washington – Once you see all my picks, you will understand where I am going with this.

Cincinnati over Pittsburgh – The Bengals, Patriots, and Broncos are going to run away with the top three spots. So at least the Wild-Card battle will be exciting.

Buffalo over Philadelphia – Shady’s gonna go off on the Eagles…yet the Bills will still win by only a point or two.

Carolina over Atlanta – So now I think Carolina is going to do what I figured New England was going to do (before they lost two in a row)…get to 15-0 and then inexplicably lose to a fairly mediocre Tampa Bay team on the final day of the season. And Mercury Morris will basically jizz all over himself.

Green Bay huge over Dallas – I think the Packers have had enough with looking below-average.

Miami over NY Giants – Can’t they just fire Tom Coughlin in the middle of the third quarter?

All this would leave the NFC East like this:

Washington 5-8

Philadelphia 5-8

NY Giants 5-8

Dallas 4-9

Bahahahahahaha. What an awful division. God I hope this happens. It would make my weekend just to see that.

Playoff Picture

At this point, only one team has clinched anything and that’s the Carolina Panthers who have clinched the NFC South in easy fashion. Now the Week 14 clinching scenarios:

First-round bye

Carolina clinches a first-round bye with a win OR Minnesota and Green Bay losses.

Division title

Cincinnati clinches the AFC North with a win.

Denver clinches the AFC West with a win and a Kansas City loss.

New England clinches the AFC East with a win and a NY Jets loss (there are other issues with strength of victory and shit like that but this is the only important scenario to remember).

Arizona clinches the NFC West with a win and a Seattle loss.

Playoff berth

Cincinnati clinches a playoff berth with a NY Jets loss OR a Kansas City loss.

Denver clinches a playoff berth with a win and a NY Jets loss OR a win and a Pittsburgh loss.

New England clinches a playoff berth with a win OR a NY Jets loss OR a Pittsburgh loss.

Arizona clinches a playoff berth with a win OR a Tampa Bay loss and an Atlanta loss OR a Tampa Bay loss and a Green Bay win.

So five of the eight divisions could be clinched by Sunday night. I don’t know if the NFL would like this or not.

Alright tonight we have a pretty good Thursday night game unopposed. No college football and let’s be honest, NHL and NBA regular season games aren’t touching the ratings of the NFL game. Tomorrow night, there’s FCS action on the specialty pack. Saturday, more FCS and the Army-Navy game (and the Heisman trophy ceremony). And then all this fun NFL on Sunday. Enjoy!


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