What the fuck else are you doing today (or tomorrow or on Saturday)? WORKING? OK that makes sense since us Canadians beat the Americans to the Thanksgiving punch by a month and a half every year (you think the Yanks would figure this out and try to beat us out once and make their Thanksgiving September 28th one year). But really, there is so much football on the next few days you could go into a coma (not saying it explicitly but that may be my goal). There are about 50 God damn games on from now until Monday night. If you are a football fan, this is your Christmas, New Year’s, and Easter all rolled into one. If not, piss off and let us have this one time of the year (other than the Super Bowl) where we can all go insane about football.
Alright let’s get down to business. First off, let me mention that there are three NFL Murican Turkey Day games today:
- Philadelphia at Detroit (12:30) – FOX
- Carolina at Dallas (4:30) – CBS (Yes CBS….it’s Crossover Craziness!!!!)
- Chicago at Green Bay (8:30) – NBC
Also, all these games are on pretty much all the Sportsnets I am sure.
Now to the college games and I am using a different format this time around. It’s my Murican Thanksgiving format I used last year where I list every game one-by-one. It gives more info and makes this post look that much more impressive (unless you like tables, then you’re gonna be some kind of pissed. Here we go! (* – game isn’t showing up on guide yet but should)
USF at UCF (7:30, TSN5) – USF still has a shot at the AAC East title and the opportunity to screw up the Group of Five New Year’s Six spot by winning here. They would need to win and have Temple lose their game for this to happen. On the other side, UCF is finishing one of the worst seasons in recent history. They try to avoid a 0-12 season here.
#15 Navy at Houston (Noon, ABC/TSN2) – The biggest Group of Five game of the season here. The winner, chances are, clinches the Group of Five spot but they would still have the AAC Championship Game and, in Navy’s case, a game against Army. The fact this game is on ABC shows how much the American is better than any other Go5 conference.
Western Michigan at #24 Toledo (Noon, CBS Sports Network) – Toledo, thanks to Northern Illinois’ somewhat shocking loss the other night to Ohio, has the inside track on the MAC West title and an outside shot at the New Year’s Six. Of course, the Broncos could row that damn boat and basically end the MAC’s chance to sit at the adult table.
Miami at Pittsburgh (Noon, specialty pack) – The teams are better than they were last season when Pitt backed into a bowl game with a win over a Miami team that looked like they had quit on Al Golden (shocking I know). The teams are better this season and this means even less. Both teams are bowling and that’s all.
Missouri at Arkansas (2:30, CBS) – Mizzou has a chance to send Gary Pinkel out with a bowl game. They need to win here to do so. The Fighting Bielemas are already playing over the holidays.
#4 Iowa at Nebraska (3:30, ABC) – Huge game here with huge stakes. For Iowa, they win here, they go to the Big Ten Championship with a shot at the College Football Playoff on the line. For Nebraska, they somehow win, they go to a bowl game like they are supposed to (right?). Mike Riley needs this or else he starts his second season in Lincoln on the hot seat.
Boise State at San Jose State (3:30, CBS Sports Network) – SJSU needs a win here to go bowling. Boise isn’t as good as previous years so it’s a possibility.
#20 Washington State at Washington (3:30, FOX) – The Apple Cup is somewhat big for the Huskies as they have to win to go bowling. The Mike Leach Fun-time Gang has already had a successful season no matter what happens here.
UMass at Buffalo (4:30, specialty pack) – UMass’s final game in the MAC is against a Bulls team that needs a win to go bowling. So much bowl-eligibility going on this coming weekend.
#7 Baylor at #19 TCU (7:30, TSN1/3/4/5) – There has never been a college football game on four TSN stations at one time. Baylor still has an outside shot at getting to the CFP but needs a lot to happen, including beating the piss out of TCU here. The Horny Frogs will try their best not to let that happen. Plus I am sure horny is the last thing thought of at Texas CHRISTIAN University.
Tulsa at Tulane (8:00, specialty pack) – Yet another game involving a team looking for bowl-eligibility. The Golden Hurricane wins here over the Green Wave (two teams without plural team names…interesting) and they play over the holidays.
#8 Ohio State at #10 Michigan (Noon, ABC/TSN4) – The Game is still huge despite the fact both teams would need Michigan State to lose to win the Big Ten East Division crown. It’s been a while since Michigan was this good but Harbaughll has been the name of the game in Ann Arbor. Should be a good one.
Florida Atlantic at Old Dominion (Noon, MyTV) – This game will get eyeballs solely for the fact that Old Dominion has a shot to become bowl-eligible for the first time in program history. Other than that, this will probably suck balls.
Indiana at Purdue (Noon, Big Ten Network) – The Hoosiers can FINALLY make it back to a bowl game by beating their rivals from Purdue here for the Old Oaken Bucket. Purdue is still terrible and Darrell Hazell may very well lose his job with a loss here.
Cincinnati at East Carolina (Noon, CBS Sports Network) – The Pirates need a win here to go, you guessed it, bowling. Team Tubs can ruin ECU’s season with the win here.
Georgia at Georgia Tech (Noon, TSN1) – Clean, Old Fashioned Hate. One of the best rivalry games around…except for this season. Georgia is trending towards average and Tech blows. Let’s just hope for a good game here because otherwise there are other options early.
#1 Clemson at South Carolina (Noon, TSN5) – TSN stepping up their game this weekend. Nice to see. The Tigers can complete their perfect regular season with a win here over the woeful Cocks (I’m sure Woeful Cocks is the name of some porno out there). The USC of the east displaying their, ahem, “talent” for their next coach, whoever that may be (Kirby Smart?)
Virginia Tech at Virginia (Noon, specialty pack) – The Commonwealth Cup is Frank Beamer’s last chance to go to a bowl game before he retires. He has to remember it is UVA he is playing and that they aren’t that good. If the Hoos don’t fire Mike London after this season I will assume it’s a self-esteem issue more than anything…for the university not London.
Maryland at Rutgers (Noon, specialty pack (Rogers only)) – I am guessing the BTN alternate game will head to the specialty pack for Rogers customers. I don’t know why you’d want to watch this game but it is an option.
Louisville at Kentucky (Noon, specialty pack (Bell only)) – This feels familiar. Yes, just like last season, Kentucky comes into the Governor’s Cup needing a win to go bowling. Louisville is already in so beating their foes is more of a pride thing for them.
Boston College at Syracuse (12:30, specialty pack*) – With all the options, why would you subject yourself to this.
Duke at Wake Forest (12:30, WSBK/specialty pack) – Another ACC game that is almost unwatchable. Duke has struggled as of late after Miami’s non-touchdown ruined their division championship hopes. And Wake is Wake. Only go here if every other game is on a commercial break.
#14 North Carolina at NC State (3:30, ABC/specialty pack) – OK this needs some explanation. If you get ABC out of Buffalo you get this game on ABC. If not, you get this game on the specialty pack and it’s still not showing up there. North Carolina’s NYS hopes could be gone if they lose here so they need momentum going into their ACC Championship game against the #1 Clemson Tigers.
Wisconsin at Minnesota (3:30, Big Ten Network) – Last season this game was huge. This year, not so much. Minnesota can go bowling with a win in this one. The NCAA is hoping some of these 5-win teams win or otherwise they have to do their jobs and figure out who gets to play in some of the bowl games.
#2 Alabama at Auburn (3:30, CBS) – To be honest, this may be the only SEC game that matters this week. Alabama wins and they go into the SEC Championship at #2. Lose and the SEC may be in a heap of trouble when it comes to the College Football Playoff.
BYU at Utah State (3:30, CBS Sports Network) – Two pretty good teams but in a game that means absolutely nothing as both teams are going to bowl games.
#22 UCLA at USC (3:30, ABC/TSN4) – If you get ABC out of Detroit, you get the game on ABC as well. Everyone gets this one on TSN4. Huge game here as the winner goes to the Pac-12 Championship to try and keep Stanford out of the New Year’s Six (since I truly believe the CFP is not happening for the Cardinal).
Penn State at #5 Michigan State (3:30, TSN5) – Sparty wins here and they go to the Big Ten Championship game with a shot at the CFP. Lose and they will be lucky to be in the NYS. It’s pretty cut-and-dry here for MSU.
#16 Northwestern vs. Illinois (in Chicago, 3:30, specialty pack) – So this time around it’s only Illinois needing a win to play in a bowl game. Northwestern has been very good this season (except for that inexplicable hiccup against Michigan) but this game means very little to them other than keeping the Illini out of the postseason.
Vanderbilt at Tennessee (4:00, specialty pack (Bell only)) – To be honest, I don’t have a single reason why you would want to watch this game.
Saturday primetime & late night
UConn at #25 Temple (7:00, specialty pack) – I really do not understand how the later games are already on the guides, yet the earlier ones aren’t. So stupid. Anyway, Temple needs a win here or a loss by USF on Thursday (fat chance) to go to the AAC Championship to possibly destroy the American’s chances at the New Year’s Six. And no, this isn’t a trophy game DIACO!
#18 Ole Miss at #21 Mississippi State (7:15, TSN5/specialty pack) – There is no way this stays on the specialty pack unless they are doing a Finebaum Alternate Viewing thing which, I will admit, was somewhat hilarious last year for the Iron Bowl. This year’s Egg Bowl not nearly as important unless Bama blows a gasket against Auburn. Then it’s massively important.
#6 Notre Dame at #9 Stanford (7:30, FOX) – Huge game for both teams but mostly for the Irish since, even with a win here, I find it hard to believe Stanford could vault themselves into the CFP. Then again, the way this season is going, the Cardinal could end up in the #2 spot for all we know. Stranger things have happened. This has to be considered FOX’s game of the year.
#13 Florida State at #12 Florida (7:30, TSN3/specialty pack) – Again, this will not be on the specialty pack. Good on The Committee for dropping the Gators like a stone (somewhat). That performance against FAU was terrible. But they can go right back into the top 10 with a win here. Winner probably gets an NYS spot, loser won’t. Plain and simple.
Texas A&M at LSU (7:30, specialty pack (Bell only)) – Another game where this no real value to watching it, other than when all the other games are at commercial breaks. Oh, and the fact there is an insane rumour that Les Miles could be shitcanned by LSU. Are they fucking stupid? Unless they have a really good replacement, this would be a boneheaded move because the team only won 7 or 8 games this season. HOW DARE THEY!
#3 Oklahoma at #11 Oklahoma State (8:00, ABC/TSN1) – BEDLAM!!! This game is huge and now that the Sooners are at #3, if they win this game, they pretty much clinch a CFP spot. So the Hee-Haw version of OSU can cost the Big XII yet again and fuel EXPANSION TALK by winning this one.
Colorado State at Fresno State (9:00, CBS Sports Network) – An odd start time for a game that very few people will watch.
Air Force at New Mexico (10:15, specialty pack) – I think by this time, most hardcore college football fans will be in a coma. Lucky for you, with two option offenses playing each other, this game may be done by midnight.
Nevada at San Diego State (10:45, specialty pack) – I may not even be able to make it to the end of this one.
OK, there are more spots on the specialty pack guides than there are games to show. This means one of two things: a) they will be showing some ESPNEWS/ESPN3 games or b) those spots will magically disappear by the end of today. I am going with b) on this one since there’s already enough college football on (I can’t believe I am saying that), there is no reason to put anything extra there.
Enjoy the football when you can and hopefully you survive!
UPDATE: Most of the games appearing on the specialty packs. Only exclusions (as of right now) are Boston College-Syracuse and Duke-Wake Forest (although Duke-WF is on WSBK already so no loss there).