Week 9 Short NFL Recap – Sponsored by Sunday Night Football (amazingly enough)

The real reason most men (and many women) watch the start of SNF
The real reason most men (and many women) watch the start of SNF

Yes, I railed on the fact that the Eagles and Cowboys, two teams under .500, were in the premier primetime game of the week. And it made sense why. In no other sport does this happen. Hell, FOX has even jumped off the Yankees-Red Sox bandwagon this season since the Red Sox were hot garbage. But no, the NFL HAS to showcase the Dallas F’n Cowboys. Lucky thing for them (and us) is that it was a really good game. Well, kind of. This means we will see more Dallas Cowboys in primetime because they’re MURICA’S TEAM!!!!

Alright, a few more notes about a day of football I can barely remember for some reason:

So the Bills are going to be like this this season. The Bills go to London and play like shit and lose to Jacksonville. Then they go to Miami and make the Fins their bitch. This is exactly the way this team has been almost every season for the past decade. They do enough to not be horrible. They never do enough to be a playoff team. No wonder their fans are doing moonsaults on to other fans on tables and covering each other with gallons of condiments. I’m surprised they haven’t gone even more insane.

Well that seemed to end with no fanfare. When the Broncos beat the undefeated Packers last week, there was a ton of talk about it. How good the Broncos were and how the Packers were still good but the kinks in the armour were being analyzed. This past Sunday, the Colts beat the Broncos and it’s like no one cared. Very little talk about it. Is it because no one truly fears the Broncos? Is it because the Colts might win the AFC South at 6-10? Just seemed odd that’s all.

Yep, that’s the Falcons we all know and love. Now we are seeing the true Falcons. And the true Matty Ice. They really aren’t that great. They’re not bad by any means and they may still make the playoffs but the road has become a lot tougher for them. Also, I would really like to know the attendance figure at Shitty Turf Field for that game. Looked like some pretty good amounts of empty seats there that is for sure.

Carolina’s for real? Carolina’s for real. Yes Carolina is for real. And Cam Newton has to be considered an MVP candidate. Also, could the Pack lose their stranglehold on the NFC North? Probably not but the Vikings are playing amazing ball and won’t make things too easy on A-A-ron and his crew.

Speaking of the Vikings, FUCK JEFF FISHER! I will be honest. I had never heard of Jeff Fisher’s penchant for dirty play. That hit on Teddy Bridgewater was definitely dirty and it kind of looked like he was trying to hurt him. Who really knows but it has to come with some consequences. But to hear that Fisher is a dick and wants his guys to play dirty at times means he is probably a perfect candidate for the USC job.

Playoff Predictions

Here are my predictions as of this point for the playoffs:

Division Winners Division Winners
1 New England 1 Carolina
2 Denver 2 Arizona
3 Cincinnati 3 Green Bay
4 Indianapolis (ugh) 4 Philadelphia
Wild Card Teams Wild Card Teams
5 Oakland 5 Minnesota
6 Buffalo 6 Seattle

Close but no cigar: AFC – Pittsburgh, NY Jets. NFC – NY Giants, Atlanta, Dallas, St. Louis

I am going out on a HUGE limb with my wild-card choices. Hear me out. I think Pittsburgh will eventually succumb to the fact that they had to replace Big Ben with Landry Jones and Le’Veon Bell with whoever they are replacing Le’Veon Bell with. Oakland is playing well enough in a horrid AFC that at 10-6 they might actually be two games clear in the wild-card race by the end. The last spot will be probably between the Bills and Jets. I pick the Bills because I think they will win this Thursday which could end up being the tie-breaker between the two. Don’t be surprised if we see an 8-8 wild-card team along with an under .500 division winner in the AFC.

In the NFC, I think Minnesota could end up at 12-4 and still be relegated to the wild-card spot. This is why the division winners should only be guaranteed a top 5 seed. This would mean Philadelphia would travel to Minnesota (and in the AFC, Indy would travel to the Black Hole in Oakland) which would be much more fair and make a whole lot more sense. There will be intense competition between the five teams listed but Seattle is battle-tested and should be able to eek out the last spot.

The only hope is that, like every other year, we have at least a few games during the last week of the season that are VERY important. The last thing the NFL would want is pretty much all the playoff spots sewn up.

Football fans…we have a lot of college and pro football coming up. The next day without football is the day before American Thanksgiving (November 25th). So over the next 21 days, including tonight, 20 of them have football. Life is good. As a reminder there is college football tonight (with one game on TSN1) and tomorrow night. Then Thursday you have your choice of pro (Bills-Jets with their fan-fucking-tastic colour wheel uniforms for the blind) or college (a bunch of games).


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