College Football

Hey did you hear? JIM F’N HARBAUGH HAS ARRIVED IN THE BIG TEN! Oh, and other things could be happening in the conference as well.


Yeah JIM HARBAUGH is here. If you’re a college football fan (and I assuming you are if you read this blog), you would have to be blind, deaf, or stupid not to have heard that JIM FUCKING HARBAUGH is the new head coach at Michigan. I don’t know if I have seen or heard as much hype for a team that has struggled quite a bit over the past few years than I have about this. Worst part? There will only be a bit of improvement. Then again, that’s how he started at Stanford so we can all give him a chance. Otherwise he might kick our ass, then go chug another Red Bull. Anyway…

Yeah there are other teams in the Big Ten (yet probably a dearth of math professors). Here’s the projected standings followed by attendance:

                 Conference                     Overall
East W L W L
Ohio State 8 0 12 0
Michigan State 7 1 11 1
Penn State 5 3 8 4
Michigan 4 4 7 5
Indiana 2 6 6 6
Rutgers 1 7 5 7
Maryland 0 8 3 9
Wisconsin 7 1 10 2
Nebraska 5 3 8 4
Iowa 5 3 9 3
Northwestern 4 4 6 6
Minnesota 4 4 7 5
Purdue 2 6 3 9
Illinois 1 7 4 8


  • Ohio State.  HERE!  The Buckeyes are looking to repeat as national champs and I am sure almost every prediction, preview magazine, website, etc. has them either doing it or coming damn close to it.  So for the regular season and conference championship, I wholeheartedly agree.  You’ll have to wait for the final prediction post to see if I have them going all the way.
  • Michigan State.  HERE!  Again I can see Mark D’Antonio being close but no cigar again with a juggernaut tOSU team in front of him.  What does this all mean?  Run Little Giants.  It’s their only hope to beat the Buckeyes.
  • Wisconsin.  HERE!  No Melvin Gordon does not mean the end of the Wisconsin Fun-Time Rushing Attack of Awesomeness.  The Badgers will do what they do best.  Find another five-star running back, insert him in the lineup, and make him run behind the 1800 pounds of beef in front of him.  No worries in Madison.
  • Indiana.  HERE!  Finally.  FINALLY!  I, along with many other prognosticators, have the Hoosiers finally making a bowl game again.  Kevin Wilson is slooooooooowly moving Indiana up the ladder in the Big Ten East.  And really, other than tOSU and MSU, the #3 spot is up for grabs on a yearly basis for the near future.
  • Illinois.  HERE!  Tim Beckman may have got a reprieve by somehow getting to a bowl game.  His tenure ends after this season (and possibly during) as I can’t see the Illini winning more than four games.
  • Northwestern.  HERE!  No union for you!
  • Iowa.  HERE!  I am not making the same mistake this season.  Iowa is NOT the worst Power Five team this season.  Actually, they will be just outside the Big Ten Championship, knocking on the door and not quite being able to kick it down.
  • Nebraska.  HERE!  Bo is gone.  Mike Riley in.  Prediction?  Four losses again.  I feel like I am trolling Huskers fans at this point.

OK the rest of you play in the sandbox and keep the sand in the sandbox for once. Stop whining, Purdue. No one likes you anyway.

All the conferences are now complete. Next up some Heisman predictions, coaching hot seat predictions, and then some final bowl projections (kind of like Jerry Palm except I will have about 0.0001% of the hate he gets for doing the same exact thing…poor guy).

2 thoughts on “Hey did you hear? JIM F’N HARBAUGH HAS ARRIVED IN THE BIG TEN! Oh, and other things could be happening in the conference as well.

  1. Jim Harbaugh is going to be a GREAT head coach in Michigan. The big question is: will Harbaugh be there for many years to come or will he coach again in the NFL?

    I am a Nebraska fan. Sadly, you’re right. They will underachieve once again this season. So many other head coach candidates were out there. Why did they choose Mike Riley?

    Do you think Indiana could grab the #3 spot in the Big Ten East within the next three years? If they can, they just might get more appearances on ESPN, ABC (or whichever networks) win Big Ten rights in the future.

  2. I don’t know. He’s made a habit of jumping to a new coaching job every few years. I think he will be at Ann Arbor longer than he was at Stanford, let’s put it that way.

    Mike Riley was a bizarre choice to be honest. Especially with the fact he loves to throw the ball. Remember Bill Callahan when he tried changing the Huskers into a West Coast offense? Yeah, that worked out so great.

    Indiana is prime for a move up the standings, but a lot has to do with how the aforementioned Jimmy Football does at Michigan (and how Penn State does as well). Those two are the real roadblocks for Indiana becoming a bowl-eligible team on a yearly basis.

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