Oh yes, it’s time for everyone’s favourite (or least favourite) conference in college football, the Ess-Eee-Motherfucking-See. Let’s be honest though; now that the SEC has NOT won the last two national championships, maybe we can tone down the SEC hate just a tad. Besides, the Pac-12 is gaining ground and the College Football Playoff has become a bit of an equalizer among the Power Five Conferences (as long as your conference doesn’t begin with the word Big and ends with a Roman numeral representation of 12).
Also, it’s time to find out if every SEC team makes it to a bowl game this season. Is this possible? I would laugh if it was. Besides I’d still want to watch every bowl game even if it was Kentucky facing Eastern Kentucky State Tech Normal School. So here are the projected standings followed by the calling out of bingo numbers:
- Under the B, 4. B4. Bama is going for its fourth national title in seven seasons. Pretty damn impressive. And let’s be honest…for the past decade, the Tide just brings in new highly touted recruits and reloads for yet another run. Expect them to have a pretty damn good season again. Ho hum.
- Under the I, 24. I24. I think it will take exactly 24 games or two seasons for Vanderbilt to figure out that Derek Mason is not their guy and he will get shitcanned. Pretty bad head coaching choice unfortunately for a guy who is a fantastic defensive coordinator.
- Under the N, 31. N31. The 31 doesn’t mean anything (other than the amount of programs that may be involved). The N stands for No New RealigNment talk…at this point. The SEC basically has to play wait n’ see with Texas, Oklahoma and their younger siblings and their course of action…whether they want to blow up the Big XII or save it and add to it at some point. Who even knows anymore.
- Under the G, 60. G60. It only feels like sixty years since Georgia won the national championship. It’s actually been a little more than half that number (35). And Herschel Walker was on the team. So yeah it’s still been a while. Can we put Mark Richt firmly into “Die on the Sidelines Before Getting Fired” territory? I think we can now.
- Under the O, 62. O62. Ole Miss’s last national championship (kind of) was in 1962. Now THAT is a long time. I could make some very inappropriate jokes about which Philadelphia is actually worse but I will refrain. Many are just waiting (anxiously) for Hugh Freeze to inch this team closer to a spot in the College Football Playoff. If the breaks go their way this year it could happen but they would need a lot of luck in the SEC West Gauntlet.
- No more letters…just straight talk. I will NOT be surprised by Missouri this year. Eyes wide open on this one! They still won’t win the SEC East but they will be close. This way when they do win the SEC East (again in a surprise), I can say I was at least close.
- Thanks to not enough bowl-eligible teams and some fun-time waivers, I have 13 of the 14 SEC schools going to a bowl game. THIRTEEN OUT OF FOURTEEN! That’s beyond absurd. But hilarious all at once.
I could go on and on but you can make your own conclusions based on my predictions (and to answer at least one of your questions…no I don’t have brain damage). Maybe I should go back and re-do the SEC on CBS post now that I have Tennessee looking at 9 wins this season. Other than that I am sticking with my predictions (possibly to my demise).
SEC Title Game. Atlanta. Bama will win. Over Georgia. Again. Feels so ho-hum. And Bama makes their way back to the CFP. Again.
Next up, the final conference predictions from the Big Ten (with fourteen teams…can’t they just rename the damn conference already?). Then a few other predictions posts culminating in the Bowl Preview El Fantastico. I know you’re excited. That’s good since I’m not quite sure I am at this point with my predictions.