Only one of these two distinguished gentlemen above are on the hot seat this year. Guess which one it is? You can scroll down if you like…
COACHES ON THE HOT SEAT!!!!
- Will Muschamp, Florida – Yes it’s WILL MUSCHAMP on the coaching hot seat. He may have the hottest seat of them all but the easiest way to get off of it. Just get back to the way Florida was two seasons ago and he’s golden. Projection: 8 wins Coaching future: No worries as he will be back at the helm of an SEC East contender by next season.
- Bret Bielema, Arkansas – I have said it before and I will say it again…this man is pining for the days when he was in Madison and was hailed as one of the best coaches around. Now? Not so much. Projection: 2 wins Coaching future: Hot seat will get hotter as year goes on; will be fucking scorching going into next season. But hey, he has a hot wife so who cares.
- Tim Beckman, Illinois – I am honestly surprised this guy wasn’t shit-canned at the end of last season. Instead he has decided to copy his Big Ten brethren in Indiana (and become a Mike Leach disciple it seems) and go for the elusive 50-50 club this season…averaging 50 points on offense and defense in the same season. Projection: 4 wins Coaching future: Won’t be on hot seat much longer since he will be fired by the end of the season at the latest.
- Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Is it now looking more and more that the one amazing season Kent State was a, ahem, flash in the pan? Bad jokes aside, Purdue has been terrible under Hazell and unless there’s marked improvement he won’t be around. Spoiler alert: Pack your bags Darrell. Projection: 3 wins Coaching future: I’m sure there are enough coordinator or FCS head coaching jobs available for next season.
- Charlie Weis, Kansas – This guy almost seems like he is in on the joke of how bad the Jayhawks program is. No wonder everyone is a basketball fan in that state (or at least outside of Manhattan). Projection: 3 wins Coaching future: Move over. It’s Mangino time!
- Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – He looks drunk half the time. He coaches like he’s drunk half the time. And ever since the Geno Smith-Tavon Austin-Stedman Bailey trio left Morgantown, Uncle Dana has had nothing to hang his hat on. Projection: 3 wins Coaching future: It won’t be here. I’m sure Mountaineer fans are sick of this guy by now. Is RichRod available?
- Sonny Dykes, California – He left a sure thing in rural Louisiana. Brought a LaTech team from nothing to make them a juggernaut (in the WAC at least). Gets a chance to do what many are doing: turn a program around. Jeff Tedford must be laughing now after all the shit he took at that school. Projection: 1 win Coaching future: The leash will be extremely short but he will last into next year with the hope that the Bears are contending for a bowl. If not, Dykes will probably struggle to get any FBS job, let alone a head coaching gig, for the foreseeable future.
- Mike London, Virginia – Another coach who is shockingly back at his job this fall. To be honest, his players haven’t played for him. Things were looking up for the Cavs and they seem to shoot themselves in the foot time and time again. He’s a good contender for the First Coach of the Year Fired Award. Projection: 2 wins Coaching future: As a coordinator somewhere else.
- Bob Davie, New Mexico – Things were looking up (somewhat) for the Lobos. Davie was supposed to come in and totally revamp this team and he has. Too bad they haven’t responded with anything resembling progress. Projection: 1 win Coaching future: He doesn’t have one. Maybe he can beg for his ESPN job back.
- Norm Chow, Hawaii – Not only is Chow’s job on the line but it seems like the whole damn program could go under? Insane although it makes perfect sense. This will definitely deter any Alaskan schools from starting FBS football programs. Projection: 1 win Coaching future: Might as well retire and watch from the sidelines as the entire program potentially crumbles.
- Ron Turner, FIU – Remember when this guy was in Illinois? Yeah, I really don’t either. A saviour he is not and the Panthers are rueing the day that they fired Mario Cristobal who actually had the program on the rise. Projection: 2 wins Coaching future: The one true challenger to London to be fired first.
- Todd Monken, Southern Miss – If there is a coach out there that is missed more than Southern Miss misses Larry Fedora then I can find him. This team is in a shambles. Hell, even UAB can honestly say that the Golden Eagles have a shittier program than they do. If it wasn’t for Grambling last season, you’d be looking at a team that no one would want to be associated with. Projection: 1 win Coaching future: Maybe he can join his brother at Army.
OK, so we have had one day (and an extra game on Wednesday) of college football. Feels good to be back at this point of the year although Bell and Rogers have done their best already to screw with our heads. As far as I know, Rogers SSP subscribers STILL won’t have access to SEC Network games. Even then, I don’t see anything on a Bell schedule that says U.S. College Sports Package subscribers will get more than the two shitty games we saw last night. I just wish they would be like Sportsnet has been with hockey (I can’t believe I am applauding Sportsnet for anything but anyway): they got the NHL package, told people what would happen, then solidified scheduling with examples on how it is going to work. Why in the fuck can’t Bell and Rogers do the same for college football?