college football TV schedule · NFL

Part Deux of Terrible NFL Predictions


OK now it’s time for my playoff predictions.  Maybe, just maybe, I will catch lightning in a bottle twice…with my Super Bowl picks, since some of my playoff picks from last season (*COUGH*Houston*COUGH*) were beyond terrible.

Wild Card Games

New England (3) def. San Diego (6)

To be honest I can’t see this game being close.  The Pats will be at home where Tom Brady is nearly unbeatable.  Plus it’s the Chargers who are getting in because the AFC, past the top 5, is a giant heap of shit.  Rivers and his band of merry men are at the top of that heap (with the Chiefs and Bengals just losing out).

Pittsburgh (5) def. Baltimore (4)

Now here should be a close game.  We are now back to the type of playoff game that almost everyone (with a pulse) enjoys.  Some good smashmouth AFC North football.  Unlike the first game, this should be very close.  To be honest, other than the year the Ravens won the Super Bowl, Joe Flacco hasn’t exactly been awesome in the playoffs.  Yes, they have Ray Rice to carry the rock but the defense isn’t the defense from the last decade.  Plus the Steelers will be hungry after missing the dance last season.  And finally, would you want to be in the locker room with Mike Tomlin if the Steelers miss the playoffs again?

Green Bay (3) def. Chicago (6)

More smashmouth football, this time from the black-and-blue division, AKA the Chuck Norris Division (also known officially as the NFC North).  I think Marc Trestman is going to be an awesome coach in the NFL.  Just look at what he was able to do with Jay Cutler (until Cuts had his yearly semi-major injury late in the season).  This may actually end up being a shootout with Cutler and Aaron Rodgers chucking balls all over the field.  Too bad the Bears D isn’t as good anymore (Brian Urlacher says hi by the way).

San Francisco (5) def. Philadelphia (4)

And now it’s time to see how Angry Harbaugh is doing after his brother Chill Harbaugh lost to the Steelers.  He’s pissed.  He’s fucking pissed.  Then again, he always looks like he’s going to blow his stack.  “No, I don’t want fucking gravy on my fries.”  “What do you mean all you have is BLUE PENS?”  “My PVR didn’t record 60 Minutes because our team had to play FUCKING OVERTIME YESTERDAY?!?!?!?!?!”  His anger alone should be enough to defeat the Eagles who are coached by Chip Kelly, who seems like he would be a great coach to play for and an awesome guy to hang out with.  That and the fact the Niners are quite a bit more talented than the Eagles, who win the NFC East by default this year.

Divisional Playoffs

Indianapolis (1) def. Pittsburgh (5)

Many will be surprised that I have Indy as the #1 seed in the AFC.  Have you seen their division?  My god.  They’d have a tougher time in the CFL Eastern Division this season than in the AFC South.  They will have some trouble with the Steelers here but being at home and having Andrew Luck and his weird looking beard tossing the ball, they should be able to squeeze this one out.  No word on what Mike Tomlin will destroy after the game.

Denver (2) def. New England (3)

You don’t know how much joy this sentence makes me feel.  So I’ll do it again…

Denver (2) def. New England (3)

Ah, that’s great.  Don’t get me wrong.  I totally respect what the Pats have done since 2000 (and for all you Pats fans who say you’ve been Pats fans since before then, eat shit….we know for 98% of you that just isn’t fucking true).  The Patriots have been THE team this century.  Saying that, I get sick of Belichick’s assholishness, Brady having one of the hottest models of all time as his wife, the team somehow taking bags of shit and making them into All-Pros, and even Gronk just having the life that most guys want.  It’s nice to see the goliaths get slayed every so often.  Then again, this is Peyton Manning we are talking about.  He ain’t no David.

New Orleans (1) def. San Francisco (5)

I hearby declare the return of the Saints from a few years ago when they won the Lombardi trophy.  Drew Brees will be All-Pro, half his receivers will be All-Pro, Superstar Jimmy Graham will be All-Pro at either tight end or receiver, the defense will be solid, and the coaching will be spectacular.  This may be the most complete team coming into this season and I don’t think the Niners will know what hit them when they leave the New Friendly Confines of Levi’s Stadium to go into the Superdome where hearing anything is most definitely an issue.

Seattle (2) def. Green Bay (3)

Speaking of crazy home fans, no one comes into Seattle and pushes around the Seahawks or the 12th man (sorry Texas A&M) anymore.  The Hawks are gold at home and nothing will change this season.  Not even Mike McCarthy’s Packers, who should be one of the best Packers teams in the past few years will be able to do it. I fully expect Seattle not to lose at home this season at all.

Conference Championships

Denver (2) def. Indianapolis (1)

Is it Peyton Manning’s year?  Kind of.  I don’t think he will be as dominant as he was last season but he should have a more complete team around him with more depth.  Plus, this is when Indy gets exposed as a #1 seed that probably didn’t deserve a #1 seed but gets a #1 seed due to the fact they play three shitty teams six times a year and, for the most part, have an overall easier schedule than almost any team out there.  As much as I’d love to see Chuck Pagano get a shot at the Super Bowl, this won’t be his year.  Give the Colts a year or two and they may be there.

New Orleans (1) def. Seattle (2)

Battle of the crazy fan bases should be won by the team playing at their home stadium; therefore, the Saints win.  Should be a good game, one of the all-time best NFC conference championships ever (maybe even rivalling the first time the Saints won the NFC).  No Brett Favre to face this time but Russell Wilson has shown he is already awesome this early in his career and should give the Saints’ D fits.  Too bad Brees will do the same and could be the only person to truly pick apart that unbelievable Seahawks secondary this season.

Super Bowl XLIX (49 for you that don’t understand Roman numerals)

Denver (2) def. New Orleans (1)

Who thinks that if the Denver Broncos win the Super Bowl this season that Peyton Manning will retire right afterward?  I am one of the ones in the camp who thinks he most definitely does.  What else would he have to prove?  If it was the other way around, I know Drew Brees wouldn’t retire but to be honest, he has also done almost everything in his pro career and is a sure-fire HOFer as well.  Either way, I think it’s the Broncos year.  No, they won’t get their revenge on the Hawks but they will get the Lombardi trophy they basically built for when they got Manning and ditched that Tebow guy.

OK, I had to throw some college football in here…

A few news and notes so far:

  • Bell Fibe and Satellite has removed CBS College Sports Network from their listings as of today.  I assume this is in advance of the new TSN trio coming aboard.  So more lost college football games.  If TSN doesn’t step up when it comes to NCAA football coverage, we could be looking at the least amount of games available in this area in more than five years.  A few steps backward after several steps forward in recent years…not what I want to see.
  • Trying to see if the Eastern Washington-Sam Houston State opener will be on the specialty packs on Saturday and I have still not seen any mention of it, nor anything in the listings I look at.  Hopefully they will put it on but I wouldn’t be surprised if Bell and Rogers aren’t quite ready for it and won’t have it which would suck.
  • I have seen a few games show up on the listings for next week.  Wake Forest-ULM and Appalachian State-Michigan are slated to appear on TSN2 on Thursday night and Saturday at noon respectively.  Florida State-Oklahoma State on ABC and Fresno State-USC on FOX are also confirmed.  I should be able to find out much more in the next three to four days on this.

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