And you thought my college football picks were bad (NFL prediction time!)


Taking a break from the college football predictions (before my bowl game and Heisman picks) to look at the pro game…you know, the one Johnny Flip-the-Bird  is in.  Normally my NFL predictions aren’t that great but last year I predicted a Denver-Seattle Super Bowl so everyone can suck it (don’t look at the fact I picked the Broncos to win or that they had to beat Houston to get there).

I do the NFL predictions in much the same way I do my college football predictions; by playing out the season.  I usually adjust game outcomes that I think will go the other way and tally up the results.  I will now list the standings as I see them for this season (*means wild card spot):

AFC East NFC East
New England Philadelphia
Miami NY Giants
NY Jets Washington
Buffalo Dallas
AFC North NFC North
Baltimore Green Bay
Pittsburgh* Chicago*
Cincinnati Detroit
Cleveland Minnesota
AFC South NFC South
Indianapolis New Orleans
Tennessee Atlanta
Jacksonville Tampa Bay
Houston Carolina
AFC West NFC West
Denver Seattle
San Diego* San Francisco*
Kansas City Arizona
Oakland St. Louis

There shouldn’t be a lot of turn-around from last season when it comes to playoff teams.  For once parity isn’t rearing its head in the NFL.  The changes would be as follows:

  • Baltimore to replace Cincinnati as AFC North champ
  • Pittsburgh to replace Kansas City as a wild-card team
  • New Orleans to replace Carolina as NFC South champ
  • Chicago to replace New Orleans as a wild-card team

I have Cincinnati and Kansas City just missing out on the post-season in the AFC and Arizona and the New York Giants just missing out on the post-season in the NFC.

Other predictions about the regular season:

  • Blake Bortles (JAX), Johnny Manziel (CLE), Teddy Bridgewater (MIN), Derek Carr (OAK) and even Tom Savage (HOU) will have at least one start at QB this season and I see at least two of them being the undisputed starter by the end of the season.
  • Drew Brees could break many quarterback records this season as the NFL drifts towards being a mainly passing league (much like the CFL).
  • I have the Raiders winning three games this season and that might even be a stretch.  Expect them to be on the clock once the season ends.  Question is, do they take Mariota or Winston despite the fact they already have Carr or do they look elsewhere.
  • I see Dallas also being awful.  Ginger head coach Jason Garrett will most certainly be gone along with most of his staff.  Whether there is an overhaul elsewhere remains to be seen (the possibility to draft Mariota or Famous Jameis to replace Playboy Tony Romo?).
  • Cleveland will probably win five or six games.  I truly do believe that if you put some talent around Johnny Great Lakes, this team should at least contend for a wild-card spot.
  • The Buffalo Bon Jovis (or is it the Buffalo Pegulas?) will also get either five or six wins.  Calls for the release of EJ Manuel should start by Canadian Thanksgiving.
  • Biggest drop should be in Carolina.  I can’t see them continuing the way they played last year, especially with the Saints and Bucs improving, and the Falcons can’t possibly be as brutal as they were last year.

My next post will outline my playoff predictions but at least you know we are not looking at Johnny Rock Star grinding up against Rihanna’s ass during the Super Bowl halftime show while doubling as the Browns’ quarterback during the game itself…because the Browns still suck.

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