College Football

This post would probably be sponsored by ESPN (if they ever saw this blog). It is just so damn SEC-rific!

Aw yeah!  Finally the predictions all the SEC-tards have been waiting for.  SEC baby!  WOOOOOO!  If you have a raging diamond cutter for SEC football, this is the post you have wanted.

In all honesty though, this conference is easily, EASILY, the best in the FBS (and it’s not even close).  Saying that, if you are a, let’s say, Tide fan, can you honestly say you will cheer if Auburn is in a big bowl game?  That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.  OK time for picks from the mighty, mighty SEC.

SEC East

  1.        Georgia Bulldogs (8-0 SEC, 11-1 overall).  With all due respect to the Ol’ Ball Coach and his Gamecocks, I feel the Bulldogs will be the class of the SEC East (and the SEC overall) this season.  So you can cram it with the Fire Mark Richt rhetoric that we hear each year.  He’s here to stay (at least until about week 5 next season…then anything goes).
  2.        South Carolina Gamecocks (7-1 SEC, 11-1 overall).  Always a bridesmaid…this team always gets within a hair of a BCS bowl and then somehow loses that shot (oh yeah, by shitting the bed in at least one game a season).  Spurrier always has his teams ready to play but one game this year (I’ll give you a hint…look at team #1) will cost them a chance at even an SEC Championship game appearance.  Again, so close yet so far for the Cocks (yeah I went there).
  3.        Florida Gators (5-3 SEC, 8-4 overall).  I love WILL MUSCHAMP! as a coach.  The guy looks like his head is going to explode at least five times a game.  I’m surprised he hasn’t gone all Tuberville on an assistant (or a player).  Unfortunately for WILL F’N MUSCHAMP! the Gators may end up being the fourth best team from the state of Florida this season.  The fourth!  Steve Spurrier would be rollin in his grave…if he wasn’t coaching up the coastline in Columbia.
  4.       Vanderbilt Commodores (4-4 SEC, 8-4 overall).  Vanderbilt?  A contender?  Say it ain’t so!  This isn’t your dad’s Commodores that’s for sure.  Vanderbilt has slowly become a contender in the SEC East.  I can’t see them becoming the top dog in the division any time soon but if a few bounces go their way, you may end up seeing this team on January 1st, 2014 in a major bowl.
  5.        Missouri Tigers (2-6 SEC, 5-7 overall).  Everyone figured Mizzou would be better off than their former Big XII counterpart, Texas A&M, with the move to the SEC.  Not so.  Then again, if the Tigers had a QB like Johnny Manziel, maybe they too would be looking at a double-digit win season.  Instead, they will be fighting for their bowl lives late in the season and I see them coming up just short yet again.
  6.        Tennessee Volunteers (2-6 SEC, 5-7 overall).  I bet all those Vols fans are wishing they still had Phil Fulmer as coach.  First Lane Kiffin, then Derek Dooley.  The Vols haven’t had a string of seasons like this in a long time.  Butch Jones is a great coach but it will take a year for him to get acclimated to a conference like the SEC.
  7.        Kentucky Wildcats (0-8 SEC, 2-10 overall).  There are not many situations where the last-place team is that much worse than every other team in their division/conference.  This is clearly the case.  You could conceivably have six bowl-eligible teams from this division and then Kentucky who is nowhere close to any of them.  Mark Stoops walks into a pretty shitty situation here and the hope is that in a year or two he can do something.  It definitely will not happen this year.

SEC West

  1.       Alabama Crimson Tide (7-1 SEC, 11-1 overall).  Roll Tide!  Hail Evil Saban!  Yet again, the Tide will ride out the wave of contenders to the throne.  In the end, Master Saban will rule the (SEC West) world.  Seriously though I can’t see this team losing more than one regular season game this season.  My guess is it again will be against the Aggies but Ole Miss and LSU will have something to say about that as well.  The top four teams are easily the top four in any conference or division even.
  2.        LSU Tigers (6-2 SEC, 10-2 overall).  That grass-eating son-of-a-bitch Les Miles just might be the best coach in the SEC (don’t tell Tide fans or Saban followers).  I don’t think anyone has the recruits that Bama does yet LSU always seems to give them a run for their money.  I see this division beating up on each other this season, meaning we will again have a one-loss division champ.  LSU has a rough schedule which doesn’t help them either.
  3.        Ole Miss Rebels (6-2 SEC, 9-3 overall).  We could be watching the start of the next big thing in the SEC.  A crazy-good recruiting class and a great coach in Hugh Freeze means this team will be big soon.  The problem for the Rebs is that the other teams in their division also seem intent on staying at the top.  If a few breaks fall their way, they may break through but I think they are still a year away from heading to their first-ever SEC Championship.
  4.        Texas A&M Aggies (6-2 SEC, 10-2 overall).  Some people would call this blasphemous to put the great Johnny Football and his Aggies down this low in the division.  First off, fuck you.  Second, look at their projected record.  6 wins in conference, 10 overall.  Still not too shabby.  Plus, the reason they would be fourth is for tie-breaker purposes.  I see them beating Bama at home, but then losing to both Ole Miss and LSU.  Soon, the Aggies will be in the SEC Championship game.  Whether that comes with Johnny PartyAnimal under centre I don’t know (and yes I know I spell it centre.  I’m Canadian damn it!  I can’t help it that the British were a big influence on our English).
  5.        Mississippi State Bulldogs (3-5 SEC, 6-6 overall).  This conference has a definite CFL feel to it.  Too many teams with the same team names.  Two Bulldogs, three fucking Tigers.  I’m surprised there’s not a Roughriders in there somewhere.  Anyway, the Bulldogs will regress a bit.  It wouldn’t surprise to see them not in a bowl but I call for them to scratch and claw their way in.  And by scratch and claw, I mean lose 4 of their last 5 and wheel in to a bowl in an electric wheelchair.
  6.        Arkansas Razorbacks (1-7 SEC, 4-8 overall).  The Hogs will be marginally better under Bret Bielema this season.  Give the man time.  He was gold in Madison with the Badgers and I definitely see him turning it around here, just not right now.  Plus he has a pretty smokin hot wife which frankly surprises me.
  7.        Auburn Tigers (0-8 SEC, 4-8 overall).  This is how dominant the SEC is.  There is only one team that will be .500 out-of-conference and that is Kentucky.   The rest will win three or all four OOC games.  I project Auburn to be perfect out-of-conference and winless in the SEC.  Talk about polarizing.  In any other conference, Auburn is probably bowl-eligible.  Easily the best last-place team in the land (by a long shot).

As for the SEC Championship, the Tide and Bulldogs will meet yet again.  This time, I project a different result.  It should be another fantastic game between these two teams and one of the best games of the year.  However, the Dawgs and Mark Richt get the duke here and are off to the BCS.

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